1.Rail Enquiries
Customer: “How much does it cost to Bath on the train?”
Operator: “If you can get your feet in the sink, then it’s free
2.How much is it to get to Oxford?
If you can walk,it’s free.
On the rail tracks?
It’s your funeral!
3.I want to go to University.
I’m sorry but Rail Studies begins next semester.
Where do I do that?
Up the junction
4.My parents gave me no money.where can I go?
Aberdeen but they’ll send you back on the next train under guard.
That’s a bit rude.
You take things too literally
You seem very bright.Did you go to Uni?
I went to Balliol, but I didn’t like the architecture.
You’re black
What’s that got to do with architecture?
You are vanishingly small.
Hello Wittgenstein
My name is not Hello.
I was joking.
Two words can’t be a joke
Balls.
I don’t follow you.
I have no blog yet.
What is a blog?
You need to do Media Studies
What,spend £60,000!
It’s either that or look in a dictionary.
Is that the only alternative?
No, just don’t keep asking questions.
Will that be best?
Depends on what you compare it with.
So that is how we learn,by comparison?
Either that or I hit you with my pointed railway stick
I didn’t know railways were pointed.
You don’t know much at all.
I can always ask you.
Who’s Hugh?
Don’t you start!
How my heart sings 