Mary sat down on a garden wall to  enjoy the sunny heat.On rising she discovered that the wall was not what one might call “a drystone wall”.To be blunt,it looked as if she had wet herself.
Her light green silky jacket and pale blue trousers were somewhat blighted by this event but Mary paid little attention.She was on her way to  the Newsagent to terminate her contract
She had sat on the wall also to chat to a neighbour.
How was your heart scan?
Sorry,I’ve never had one.
But you told me before you couldn’t talk because  of it
I said,I am in pain.~
Oh,said Maggie quietly.I misunderstood

Hello, she said to the Newsagent.I want to cancel the newspapers.
Don’t you  like to read the weekend reviews? he said with surprise
Yes,but my eyes can’t seem to focus on the news print any more.And I am very annoyed that Trump is always on the front.
OK. the delightfully charming Indian man replied.Did I tell you I am doing a Ph.D . on  what kind of people read the Guardian and the Telegraph? I collect my data using the customers who call here
I do hope I have not ruined your research Mary remarked languidly.
Not yet, he replied manfully.But if you’d like to try you can call round at 8 pm.I have made a chicken korma
Is that a  new dance, she asked wildly
You must know korma and chips is Britain’s favourite meal, he said in a hurt tone
Please forgive me , she begged.I was trying to make a joke.I am not good at it.
Alright, he said.Why don’t you do a Ph.D? When you live alone it passes the time
I see what you mean, she said tersely as if someone was holding a gun to her head.
But where do you do it? she continued.
The Open University.The trick is to use something you already have written or data you already have like I am doing
Don’t  you need a theory  for that level of research?
Of course, he replied.I usually invent that after I have done the main work
Why, how many Ph.D’s  have you done?
Twenty five,he cried gleefully.Oxford,Cambridge,Edinburgh… a bit cold there
But why bother, she enquired.You are still a newsagent.Do you not want to get an academic job?
I might but shall I be a chemist,mathematician,Lacanian psychoanalyst, English literature professor or just  take it easy being a cleaner?
Why are you asking me,she cried.It’s beyond belief that  any man could  be so learned.
Beyond Belief…. just the title for my new book.Thank you so much.I’ll give you a copy when it comes out.
Alright,Mary answered as she tried to run out of the shop.
Indians are extremely clever.They invented a symbol to represent zero.That is much more difficult to conceive of than is a whole number like 2, she told herself
Shut up, her inner child answered.I am fed up with that bilge.I want to have an icecream cone  and a jacket potato.
Both at once, she joked?
Well,maybe not, her inner child exclaimed.I just want more fun.I bet Emile feels the same.Cats are like people in a way
Well, if you feel such empathy for Emile, why not marry him
I am only three,her inner child cried.I can’t get married yet?
Tough said Mary as she got onto a bus and went to buy a loaf  and a pair of knickers.Whatever would Stan think if he saw her now with short hair and wet trousers?
Thank goodness we will never know.As for him,would he stop playing the harp to look at his wife as she carried out these mundane tasks?

 

The Single Girl’s Guide to Art

II. BALANCE

A woman must continually watch herself. —John Berger

In line, position yourself near the possible
object of your desire. Pay with plastic,
sign with a flourish. Think of your life
as one well-wrought performance piece,
and be sure to get the little pin; position it
above your breast, on your best side. Always
think ahead! You’ll thank me later—a fabulous
conversation piece, that pin, later at the café.
Remember, your entry into his frame must be
oblique, cause tension. Move to the corner
of his eye, but don’t linger, if he is to engage you
in what we will call the gaze.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/society/joepublic/2009/mar/23/mental-health-poetry-words-on-monday

 

Extract:

Sylvia Plath is on record as saying that when she was writing she was accessing the healthiest part of herself. That strikes a chord with me, too. Her joy in the act of writing is evident in her BBC interview with Peter Orr which was recorded in the autumn of 1962, shortly before her death. I think it’s available on You Tube. Well worth listening to.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/reviews/the-first-poets-by-michael-schmidt-61344.html

 

“But, perhaps most important of all, The First Poets makes it crystal clear to us that there was at least one moment in partially-recorded history when poets really counted for something. They were really needed in ancient Greece on all kinds of religious and secular occasions. So every poet should buy a copy of this book to keep on their bookshelves. And, when the occasion arises, they should throw it at the cynic who may try to ignore or demean them. ”

• More about:
• Authors
• Literature