When shame has fallen on me like a curse

And scarlet  cheeks  then  decorate my face,

Of  manners   or  real evil , which is worse;

Which casts  a person  out from once right place?

To disappear from life is all I wish

To hide myself beneath a beggar’s cloak.

To eat  soup from a convent’s dish.

As in my own  familial haunts they joke.

Guilt can be expiated and redeemed

But shame  destroys the deepest source of self.

What helpful measures may now intervene,

Cover my shied face,  restore  my health?

Is it only I who see my plight?

Imagined  laughter hides me from daylight.

This is a lovely blog I found today

It will return to you but some times you must wait.   In the mean time think beautiful things. itwillreturn

Source: It will return to you.

Coats on the hall stand

Smelling of you

Coats on the hall stand

Some are mine too.

Hats on the top hooks

Caps that you wore.

Now where you’ve gone

You will need them no more.

My hats will be lonesome

Hanging there all alone.

Now when I see them

My heart feels like stone.

I found some of your old shoes

All covered   with green

Now in the bin bag

No more to be seen.

I found half of your pyjamas

The rest are now gone.

I wonder where these where

Where’ve they come from?

Last night in my dreams

You were just by my side

Cleaning the oven

With  brillo and Tide.

But when I awakened

No glimpse did I see.

Except looking slantwise

Towards yonder tree,

Why did you leave  me?

Why did you go?

I held your left hand

And caressed it so.

Come back to your loved ones

Don’t leave us alone,.

We don’t want to live

As if frozen stone.

Touch me with your fingers

Melt  my poor heart

I let go of your hand

Then pain did start

Up there in old Richmond

And on blue Cleveland Hills

I’ll remember your dear face

As my eyes with tears fills.

I will lift up mine eyes

To the hills where my strength

Comes down from the Heavens

Endless in length.

Stronger than cast iron;

Stronger than gold;

Stronger is my love,

For the one I did hold.

Source: Remembrance

This is a beautiful blog in reflective  words and the talented artist’s own paintings.

Mary decided to go to bed early,that is before 2 am.She sat down on the  green velvet chair in the corner and took off her outer  woollen woeven clothes which were  pale pink and ready for the wash.As it was so cold she decided to leave her red   damart thermal underwear  on over which  she donned a  purple fleece nightgown and a  mauve woollen bed jacket.She put some long  green woollen bed socks on too and a  tan sheepskin hat from  East Norfolk.
By her bed were some sheepskin slippers. from Drapers of Glastonbury.After cleaning her teeth  with her gas powered toothbrush she climbed into her  bed and began reading Ted Hughes’ letters in a fat volume which she had had for a few years but never finished as she only read them in bed to save carrying the heavy book about.,Hecertainly knew how to write letters she murmured to herself.
Suddenly her door opened with a thud  and a large ,handsome old  man came into her bedroom looking puzzed and amazed.
Good evening,baby,he said.
Good evening,she replied slightly angrily as she was busy. reading.Why she’d had enough of all that with her husband and her ex lover Bill Clinton
Why are you wearing all that  heavy clothing,?he asked nosily.
What’s it got to do with you? she demanded sarcastically

Well,it’s going to be hard to make love to you,he told her chastely with  his loving eyes.
What on earth do you mean,Mary cried mysteriously.He came a bit closer and  looked  down at her face.
I’m terribly sorry,he said.I must be sleepwalking,
What number are you?78 she told him calmly.
Oh my,I am dyslexic.I should be at 87.
But how do you get in Mary asked him ,her face red with the warm clothes
.I just  open the lock with a credit card,he replied intellectually.A policeman in Oxford showed me.It was the only useful thing I learned at the University

Well,while you are here would you mind making me some  fresh tea.I am sweating so much I am dehydrated.Julius went into the  teal  and cream colored kitchen where he found all he needed.He got a tray and took the tea up to Mary just like her husband once did.Here you are,dear.he said kindlily.

OMG,you’re Stan,  she shouted.
Sorry to disappoint you dear but  I am Julius Tweezer from round the corner.
I didn’t know there was a corner,she said curiously…
I like your kitchen,he told her.My wife liked red but it was too bright for me so I left he .
I think that’s ridiculous,Mary cried.To get divorced over a red kitchen is really stupid.

Well,it’s less embarrassing  in court than to say you are frigid,impotent a bully and mean as well,he said coyly.
Very cunning,Mary said,I didn’t know men were frigid and why were you so mean?

I am a hermaphrodite,actually ,he boasted.I don’t know why I am mean;it must be genetic like intelligence isn’t.
Well drink your tea and  don’t think of England,she whispered.I am too old for all that,she lied gently

You look  young to me,he faltered.It’s all in the mind.so they say.Suddenly a policeman came in wearing a floral apron
.Sorry,madam,he cried.This poor man has got lost and I have come to take him home
.You can take me home,Mary said flirtatiously.I’m only 32 and full of beans
.Madam ,control yourself.This is  a Christian country.Which is odd as Jesus was not a Christian and never saw the Vatican and all that tat.
Well,Jesus would not mind,she  bragged, because he understands women taken in adultery.
So you are married then,he asked sycofrantically

Well I have a wedding ring on but I’ve lost my husband,Mary yelped like a terrier at a foxhole.
They are a nuisance sometimes aren’t they , said the officer.He’s probably hunting rabbits by the old  greenwood with  Ted Hughes.You go to sleep now.He began to sing,”Golden Wonders kiss your eyes” and Mary was lulled to sleep under her old  duvet and a thick acrylic and mohair rug she had knitted herself.Let’s hope she doesn’t wet the bed because she’s just had cystitis and drunk 3 pints of water.

What a funny day,mewed Emile.But nobody heard him except the mice in the wainscotting.He put on his hat and went into his basket with a rosary to play with or is it pray with?

Good night

Keeping warm indoors and out Even if it isn’t a severe winter, cold weather makes us more vulnerable to certain illnesses. Follow these tips to stay healthy and keep warm indoors and out. • Keep your bedroom window closed at night when the weather is cold. Low temperatures raise blood pressure which takes longer to return to normal in older people. This puts you at greater risk of a heart attack or a stroke. • Make sure you keep your hands and face warm. As well as wearing gloves and a hat, always wrap a scarf around your face when you go out in cold weather, even for short intervals. This helps to warm the air you breathe. If your hands and face get cold they can trigger a rise in blood pressure which puts you at risk of a heart attack. • Several thin layers of clothing will keep you warmer than one thick layer, as the layers trap warm air. Clothes made from wool or fleecy synthetic fibres such as polyester are a better choice than cotton. Start with thermal underwear, warm tights or socks. • If you’re sitting down, a shawl or blanket will provide a lot of warmth. Try to keep your feet up, as the air is cooler at ground level. • Wear warm clothes in bed. When very cold, wear thermal underwear, bed socks and even a hat – a lot of heat is lost through your head.

A force  far deeper than our anger

Elemental as a storm

Annihilating all before it

Terror makes man’s rage perform.

This  force saying self is threatened

Runs to  rise and to protect,

Most murderous when  we’re most alarmed

Rage  the enemy detects.

Over-riding other feelings

Deprives us of the power to think

Like a nuclear  tsunami

Disconnecting human links.

Reddened vision,focused,narrow;

Eyes locked onto enemy’s

All the wider context losing,

Wipes out  our good memories

Like a mother tiger fighting,

And the cornered eagle’s force;

We will destroy  what we think other

Without  bitter,pained remorse.

Nature made such to protect us;

Yet  our  perception can be wrong.

Once the flood of feeling takes us

All reflections seems too long

Later, if we see our victims,

Will we know that we have erred?

For  hate deceives ourselves and others

When our inmost terror’s  bared.

How can we step back and ponder,

See life from a wider view?

How can we become less blinded,

So  we see our world anew?

Succumb  not to final despond

Succumb not black despair.

Always there are those who see.

Always  there are those that care.

Tempered by reflective wisdom

Rage can change  when understood.

When we find another being

Who contains our frightful flood.