The dog’s grave needs weeding

I have to iron my husband tonight.

To be frank,I don’t like you much but I’d never say so

I have to feed my bugs now
Sorry,i am washing the cat’s hair right now.
Sorry,I have to faint later  in the kitchen
I have to press my husband weekly
The television needs watering.
The dog’s grave needs weeding
I have gone blind so cannot read your email.
I am dead so don’t write again.
You don’t believe I’m dead… it was you who cut me!
I told you,I’m dead

Why will they never believe what they read?
I rue the day I set eyes on your face.I should have used aspic jelly