Stan was standing on the patio when a sudden downpour drenched him all over and made him feel chilly
This is like a monsoon,he murmured to Emile who was also wringing wet.-=or ringing wet,as we Northeners say]
A head appeared over the fence…..with a body close behind
I’m awfully sorry,old boy.A pipe has burst in Annie’s loft.I was just coming in as I am giving a talk to her women’s group later.
I don’t believe.You are Stan Brown.It must be 50 years since I saw you sitting your Finals in the old School.
Stan was hiding his surprise at seeing Rudolf Hairnet,his former logic tutor at an ancient foundation of learning, in the garden of Annie,Stan’s beloved once more [now he has swept out his sacred space and put a bolt on the door.]
Why not pop in,Rudolf,he said.I’ll leave the door open and go upstairs to change my clothes.Be with you in a moment.
Stan went upstairs and removed his clothes.His body was now as thin as when he reached his full height of 6 ft 6 inches but alas it had less muscle and more fat..He gazed into his wife’s mirror.
To his surprise he saw Satan looking out.Although he knew this was possible for Catholics he had never met Satan before.
How do you get behind the mirror,he asked gently.
God only knows,said Satan morosely.
Why not ask him?
I’m too proud,the poor devil replied in a bleak voice.
Well,we all have our pride,Stan told him,though no doubt yours is the biggest in the universe.
Yes,indeed,Satan answered.
Are you here for any purpose,Stan enquired.
Yes,your home seems more intriguing than most and I like to watch you in bed with that flame haired woman.
I see,said Stan,You are a voyeur.
That’s one way of describing me,Satan said,no woman will come to bed with me so I am trapped here behind every mirror in the world.I can see it all but never take part.
You must be very lonely,said Stan
Yes,the dark spirit muttered boastfully yet sadly.
Are there no she-devils about who might oblige you?
I don’t seem to fancy them so much.They are all as bad as me or worse.I want kindness and tenderness not just lust.After all,one might satisfy that with a vibrator… we have them in hell you know!And they are free at the point of contact.
Why,you are beginning to sound almost human,Stan told him.That’s what we want too.If only you would apologise to God I am sure he would forgive you and let you come into the real world of others instead of being trapped in there behind the mercury and glass
Stan heard a noise.He turned round displaying his bony frame and his organs to Rudolf his erstwhile tutor and sometime friend of youth and glory
Are you ok? the old man asked in a tremulous voice.
I was worried that the drenching had knocked you off balance.I have out your kettle on the fire to make you a hot drink and phoned 999 for aid.
But we don’t have a fire,Stan responded.
Well,you do now said Rudolf,so let’s enjoy the flames while we can.Old flames are better than new sometimes.
To whom were you talking in there? Rudolf asked curiously
I was on my mobile,said Stan defensively.
But where was it?You had nothing on ? On second thoughts,please don’t tell me.I’ve heard some strange stories but messing about with a phone is not one I wish to dwell on lest it obsess me at 3 am with strange fancies lurking in the black of my mnind
That’s logicians for you.No interest in the wilder shores of life. a dull crowd Stan told himself as he went downstairs and joined Rudolf in a good cup of tea with the best Willow patterned china on display.
And that is what I need to recover from writing down this very odd tail…
And so does Dave the poor young paramedic from heaven who is just arriving as we leave these two dear old men and their strange meeting,
All donations gracefull received via Payme.
This is like a monsoon,he murmured to Emile who was also wringing wet.-=or ringing wet,as we Northeners say]
A head appeared over the fence…..with a body close behind
I’m awfully sorry,old boy.A pipe has burst in Annie’s loft.I was just coming in as I am giving a talk to her women’s group later.
I don’t believe.You are Stan Brown.It must be 50 years since I saw you sitting your Finals in the old School.
Stan was hiding his surprise at seeing Rudolf Hairnet,his former logic tutor at an ancient foundation of learning, in the garden of Annie,Stan’s beloved once more [now he has swept out his sacred space and put a bolt on the door.]
Why not pop in,Rudolf,he said.I’ll leave the door open and go upstairs to change my clothes.Be with you in a moment.
Stan went upstairs and removed his clothes.His body was now as thin as when he reached his full height of 6 ft 6 inches but alas it had less muscle and more fat..He gazed into his wife’s mirror.
To his surprise he saw Satan looking out.Although he knew this was possible for Catholics he had never met Satan before.
How do you get behind the mirror,he asked gently.
God only knows,said Satan morosely.
Why not ask him?
I’m too proud,the poor devil replied in a bleak voice.
Well,we all have our pride,Stan told him,though no doubt yours is the biggest in the universe.
Yes,indeed,Satan answered.
Are you here for any purpose,Stan enquired.
Yes,your home seems more intriguing than most and I like to watch you in bed with that flame haired woman.
I see,said Stan,You are a voyeur.
That’s one way of describing me,Satan said,no woman will come to bed with me so I am trapped here behind every mirror in the world.I can see it all but never take part.
You must be very lonely,said Stan
Yes,the dark spirit muttered boastfully yet sadly.
Are there no she-devils about who might oblige you?
I don’t seem to fancy them so much.They are all as bad as me or worse.I want kindness and tenderness not just lust.After all,one might satisfy that with a vibrator… we have them in hell you know!And they are free at the point of contact.
Why,you are beginning to sound almost human,Stan told him.That’s what we want too.If only you would apologise to God I am sure he would forgive you and let you come into the real world of others instead of being trapped in there behind the mercury and glass
Stan heard a noise.He turned round displaying his bony frame and his organs to Rudolf his erstwhile tutor and sometime friend of youth and glory
Are you ok? the old man asked in a tremulous voice.
I was worried that the drenching had knocked you off balance.I have out your kettle on the fire to make you a hot drink and phoned 999 for aid.
But we don’t have a fire,Stan responded.
Well,you do now said Rudolf,so let’s enjoy the flames while we can.Old flames are better than new sometimes.
To whom were you talking in there? Rudolf asked curiously
I was on my mobile,said Stan defensively.
But where was it?You had nothing on ? On second thoughts,please don’t tell me.I’ve heard some strange stories but messing about with a phone is not one I wish to dwell on lest it obsess me at 3 am with strange fancies lurking in the black of my mnind
That’s logicians for you.No interest in the wilder shores of life. a dull crowd Stan told himself as he went downstairs and joined Rudolf in a good cup of tea with the best Willow patterned china on display.
And that is what I need to recover from writing down this very odd tail…
And so does Dave the poor young paramedic from heaven who is just arriving as we leave these two dear old men and their strange meeting,
All donations gracefull received via Payme.
How my heart sings 