Day: March 18, 2015

From thinking to thoughtfulness

 4655668_f260

A week or two ago I was thinking about thinking.There is more than one kkind of thinking.Some kinds,like rumination, are  often self destructive.Other kinds of thinking can turn one outside of one’s self and can become what I call “thoughtfulness”.And that is a a virtue.It combines awareness and caring towards others with standing back and considering what is best for them and ourselves.

Then there is what we might call ” blind thinking” which is totally self centred like the  chattering voices in our head

I want that red dress,he’s nasty,I am fed up being at work. so long…………all going on underneath our consciousness much of the time.We may be unaware of it but it can affect us and how we act towards others.It’s childish,turned inwards and trivial.Can we stop it? I am thinking about that,,, not brooding.I mean,my mind is open and I hope some new ideas will come to help me understand this blind thinking

How can we see and not be blind in our thinking?How can we be wise?

Related article

Continue reading “From thinking to thoughtfulness” →

An interview with the writer Alison Lurie… one of my favourites

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/sep/17/fiction.features

Lurie is one of my favorite authors.I recommend,The War Between the  Tates for a start

Related articles

Misreading beween the lines

??????????There is  no doubt we  all do this reading between the lines…sometimes consciously,sometimes unwittingly.We attempt to fill in gaps in our knowledge.There are a few problems.One is in cultural differences which may affect us here on the web.We come from very different societies and the meanings of certain words and attitudes does vary considerably;

And another factor is our own desires which we are  not always aware of.We may then interpret someone’s words in a way which fits with our desire or interpret someone using bad language to signify that they do not respect us.If the Soaps are an indication it seems in much of Britain every other word has just four letters. which to me shows poverty of feelings and language… but it means many people are not offended by them…But many still are.

So wishful thinking,ignorance,wanting to believe something,,,,,..cultural ignorance.. all these may make communication difficult.Perhaps we should not read too much between the lines at the beginning of a friendship…and be wary of imputing desires to another when they seem to offer what we are hoping for.

It’s a bit like the way here nearly everyone puts “love” or “xxxxx” at the end of a letter or email… so that in reality it means  almost nothing at all;Words become meaningless through overuse and we  will have to judge in other ways what a person feels for us..

Some people are more prone to seeing patterns or meanings in things which can be creative but it can also lead to paranoia in the insecure or lonely individual who has become the center of a huge important plot.When I was ill as a child I remember seeing faces leering at me from the wallpaper and the oil heater hissed menacingly,,, it was the fever but I was afraid…We need friends to tell us if our interpretations seem sensible and to comfort us when we are low.. and we need to be wary of assuming too much especially when we come from different cultures

Related articles

It looks like one,it feels like one,it speaks.

This poem is written in the sonnet form
And yet I have my doubts about its shape
Though nearly to that structure it conforms
There may be places where non- essence gapes.

It looks and speaks just as a sonnet would
And talks of metaphysical concerns.
Do we conclude, as poets and writers should,
That in our schizoid age we cannot learn?

For humans may be clothed in skin of wolves;
And lambs be decked with lions’ fearsome furs..
Thus senses can be tricked and problems solved.
Which of us will praise a cat  that purrs?

It looks like one,it feels like one,it speaks.
Yet from these words no  human feeling leaks.

 Dear cat,when old

Lurching yet graceful ,the old black cat sets off.

Slowly he circles the edges of the garden in joy

. In the car ,though still in a shut basket,

He always knew when we came to the turning of the road.

Was it the cherry trees in blossom,a scent

Or something we could never be aware of?

I would open his basket in the car.

He comes out and descends so carefully

Onto the pavement,then tries to bound up the path

, The long wooded back garden is his total joy.

He would sit watching tiny frogs in a deep pond in the sun.

No doubt he longed to catch one.

He once brought a robin indoors,

The bird was unharmed though frightened;

Must have been his gift to me

We released it later after its shock had worn off.

Now the can only hobble,

And soon, his thinness warns me, he’ll be gone.

No cat has ever loved or will love like this cat,

A rescued, terrified animal.

His eyes say everything to me.

I look into their clear-jewelled greenness

I look into a deep,still glowing sea of light.

The last day,finally, all day,he’s on my knee.

I say”goodbye,goodbye,Pussy”.

And he’s gone,just before tea.

Now the garden seems empty.

Love leaves a gap.

Love leaves us bare

Love leaves us stripped.

Yet Love is eternal grace.

A mystery of faith.

I believe.

Believe.

Be.
Read more at: http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/dear_cat,when_old_480031

Behind a glass wall … a defense

5352450_f260

Have you ever felt you were behind a pane of glass? I did once many years ago after a friend committed  suicide.It must be a protective  condition but it is painful and odd.Everyone else seems ok ,you imagine,but you are not a part..In reality many people may be feeling like you do and putting on a performance while out at work or socialising.We are probably wiser as we grow older as we know more people better and see we are not  unique in our suffering and pain; we know that feelings pass,even the worst ones and we may have become better at judging others and knowing if friends die  by suicide it’s probably not our fault

When one feels that way it has to be accepted for the time being, like all feelings,I found reading poetry helped me and also being with others in a group where I could sit and listen without pressure to speak.I like this poem from then.It was a favorite  of Simone Weil,the mystic.

LOVE BADE ME WELCOME  by George Herbert

Love Bade Me Welcome – from Love (III)

Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back.
Guiltie of dust and sinne.
But quick-ey’d Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack’d anything.

A guest, I answer’d, worthy to be here:
Love said, You shall be he.
I the unkinde, ungrateful? Ah, my deare,
I cannot look on thee.
Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,
Who made the eyes but I?

Truth Lord, but I have marr’d them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.
And know you not, sayes Love, who bore the blame?
My deare, then I will serve.
You must sit down, sayes Love, and taste my meat:
So I did sit and eat.

Without knowing

Photo1404

Always keep a mad god in your pew

I keep his frown frozen on Fridays

Keep your dimple, Cupid
I keep gnats at prayer all gnight
Please keep your fingers lost
Do you keep your chin in a cup?
Keep your eyes coping, please
Keep your heir on tenterhooks
Let your nose be your mind’s bone
Keep your powder gray
Keeping up with her bones is barred
He keeps his cards close to his testes
My hand keeps on tickling men’s ears without me knowing.
Do pluck hacks heads off now and again
Pick on  him with a verb.Mortify him with an adjective.
I kicked some mutt
Kick the socket and blow a fuse!
Why not stick your feet on with UHU?
I kicked your wheels freely till  the horse bolted
He bid for her in a randy store but she preferred candy.
A  handsome  king was X-rated by the public
Why kiss and yell when you can kick butt?

Rules for impatient inpatients

No mobile groans are allowed in this hospital.
Please faint on the bed only.Or if pushed,faint on the nurse
No lipstick to be worn at night by spirits

.Do not attack the doctor.He is only a pest here.
Pills must be swallowed before you go to the lavatory… they may fall in and then where would you pee?
Do not undress in this cubicle.Undress outside before entry.Leave your clothes in the bin for
people to steal (X ray unit]
Kindly tell us your name before we drug you.

If afraid please report to the nurse in verse
.If no night nurse is available please die after 8 am.
If you must have sex in the ward, please do not scream or moan as the other patients may be jealous.
If you have no relations please ask the doctor to oblige when he finishes his rounds.
If you feel weak,do not use your Kindle Fire on the bed
After a heart attack do not resume sex until you get home unless you had the heart attack here
in which case please feel free to continue either or both..
Sex is a form of exercise but also can create chaos in public.Try walking instead with or without a partner.
If borderline kindly make your mind up whether you love or hate the pest doctor

If you have no bosom,you are probably a man.Wards are now mixed so there is no.problem apart from a shortage of braziers.
If you have any nuts,please leave them in the hands of a female nurse prior to surgery.
Cover all your parts before the Royals visit.
Please leave me all your money before youleave the ward when about to pass over
Sex changes by an operation or sometimes naturally.
Are you bored in bed?Get out and walk up and down the corridor to annoy the visitors.
Kindly do not drum your fingers all day.Use a drumstick.
If you have erosive dermatitis, please dry carefully.
f you have an egg please donate now.Fertility counts.
Owing to a world shortage of egg cups,we now use mugs.
Do you have any further problems?Please weigh your words.
None of the staff understand the government…so please do not mention David Cameron if youwish to go home on one piece.
Pies are sold in the conservatory.We do not know why.
In fact we know hardly anything but don’t worry,we’ll treat you barbarically anyway.
Be a stoic and keep still