Daddy doesn’t smoke here any more

photo big specs

I am writing my autobiography.So far I’ve written just the titles of the volumes and that took me three days:

Daddy doesn’t smoke here any more.[ Early  to mid childhood]

My family and other criminals [Sibling rivalry]

Nuns are not a  jot of  fun  [School days]

Scholarship and yearnings [Hire Education]

Insane but true  [My love life]

The heart has its treasons.[My adult life]

Under the haystack. [How I became a gypsy]

Am I too cold for you ? [Age and its mysteries]

How I double crossed the quiver [ Almost dead but still very trying]

Black eyed floosie   [My medical history ]

I saw that life as we know it is just a film  but we are too close to spy the hand that turns the roller  [Nearer to death and seeing the clouds from above]

Left in the silence,trembling

Freed from her trap
Bird soared into air,and hovered
And floated, resting;
And flew higher, singing as she flew,
And higher again,
Till there was only her song,
Left in the silence,
Trembling.

Up on the wide,stump topped hill,
I felt the lark inside my heart
And heard her singing.
And flying up with her,
I saw gold sun and silver moon,
Moors of heather ,and sheep grazing
Green hills,
And shimmering lakes,
Clouds ,sun and sky in watery mirrors.
And sang ,and dipped,and dropped,
And curled
Up the blue
Bright heaven, and rested
On the wind.
All that day
I was a lark singing.

I shall always have a vision of
A bird
That flew upwards,
Rejoicing and free
Into a deep blue sky, and high
And higher
Beyond high
Into a place, beyond eye even,
But music still sending.

I wish I were back on that heathery moor,
With the nibbling sheep and the bees sweetly humming,
Hearing again
The poignant song
Of the skylark,
A prisoner,freed by a magician,
From her trap,
So happy to be free,
So wonderful to see.
Do it again,
For me.

Hurricanes of the heart

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When the windows shattered
And the splinters flew in
He just made for the back door
And left me
not knowing where to begin.

When the shards of glass hit me
And pierced my vulnerable skin
He was  already going
Leaving me
feeling he was an inhuman being.

When I fell down covered in glass and bleeding,
And the storm raged on,
I didn’t look round because
I knew,I knew,I knew,
I knew  he would be gone.
Gone.

Suddenly peace came,storm had quite
disappeared..
It was all over so quickly
Not as terrible as I feared.

My wounds were bad,I have to confess.
I had no bandage
Nothing with which to dress.
With an old towel I cleaned my blood
Then I lay me down
Just to have a rest.

Since that day,no storms come this way.
My wounds are healing
I have just one thing to say.
When the storm was so bad
He left me all alone…
but strangely since then
all is peace and calm.
His absence has become
almost a balm.

But I hear stories of fierce storms rising up
In towns and villages
Not too far from here, where a wandering man appears.

Seems like he’s running to get away
From some storm
But the storm’s inside him…
He gives it form

 

So when the windows crashed in

And glass flew at my face
left me all alone
In what, he thought,
was a very dangerous place.

Did he not pick me up
and carry me outside?
No,my daughter, he left me alone;
I might have died.

But since then
I lost a great burden…
And I lost a great feeling of shame.

Rise up,you women,bleeding and torn.
For on days like this,a new resolve is born.
While you live don’t accept all the blame.
Don’t live so long as I did,in fear and in shame.
Rise up and find that calm
In the eye of the storm…
On days like this
a new woman is born.

Leaves in autumn

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Floating like seaweed on the tide,
The final leaves of autumn glide.
The birds ride on the wind’s broad back,
They know no fear and know no lack.
The air is filled with unearned treasure.
My happy heart its wonders measure.
The clouds are deep and dark and grey
What snow storms may they fetch our way?
The sun appears and gives a glow
Of yellow to bare branches low.
Red berries bright,like summer flowers,
Decorate the holly’s natural tower.
Sharp thorns protect the smaller birds,
And from inside,their cheeps are heard.
As dusk arrives the blackbird sings,
So much sweetness nature brings.
I turn my mind from in to out,
I feel salvation for my doubts.
I know that I’m part of a whole,
And with all life I share my soul.
In this peaceful place I rest,
As with love’s eloquence I’m blessed.
There’s singing in my inner heart.
Like bees to flowers,my fears depart

Stan wants to ride his bike

[Made from a photo of my hand with art software.]

]Hand
Although Stan was 92 years old he still rode his bike as much as possible in the summertime.He was out in the garden pumping up the tyres before going off to the Library when suddenly his neighbour Annie appeared at the gate,bedecked as usual in finest Scottish tweed with a long pendant on a solid 22 carat gold chain swinging nonchalantly from her neck,with a matching ring attached mysteriously to her upper lip
“Who’re you,the Lady Mayoress” he joked noisily as he felt nervous.
Where’s Mary?” she whispered shyly.
“She’s up with her widowed sister Joan in Scotland ” Stan admitted nervously.
“Joan,that’s not a very Scottish name!” Annie joked.”anyway how about we sit down here on this bench for a moment”.She pulled him vigorously towards her.Stan responded regretfully yet politely
“I’m afraid I can’t stop.I have all these  old books overdue and the library shuts in 15 minutes.
“Don’t worry,sweet heart”, she cried softly.”I’ll pay all your fines.I’ve just come into loads of money.”
“Oh,how’s that.my angel” Stan murmured into her ear.
“I just shot Bert.If you help me to get rid of the evidence,I’ll share the loot with you.”
At the funeral,Annie was dressed in a beautiful dark brown suit from Jaeger.She went around the room making sure everyone had enough food and drink..As she leaned over towards Stan her heavy gold locket,inside which was hidden the bullet that killed Bert,swung over and hit Stan a glancing blow on  his temple.
Stan fell to the ground where luckily there was a thcik  wool carpet
“Do you think we should ring 999?” someone asked sarcastically.Within minutes paramedics arrived.
“So,is it that chair again?” they clamoured.
“Yes,this foolish old man fell over and the leg came off my new antique chair.I’ve only had it a few days and it’s not insured.”
“Did anyone ever tell you,your eyes are like deep pools in the Sargossa Sea?” The paramedic whispered into her right ear.I’m  Dave,by the way,her muttered.
“Have you still not finished that Creative Writing Course?” Annie shouted,continuing..
“I’m getting tired of you admiring my eyes.What about my nose?”
“Has anyone ever told you,your nose is the shortest they’ve ever seen?” he said furtively
“That’s a bit boring” Annie retorted. angrily
“Yeah,maybe I should change to Art,” he ruefully moaned, his eyes on the ground
“I love the way your deep blue and turquoise eye shadow is melting round your eyes and running down the sides of your nose.”
“Hurry up and fix my chair,and while you’re about it,you may as well take Stan down to A and E for a head X-ray.”
Glancing  slyly at Annie in her Jaeger suit with carefully contrasting deep coral blouse and opaque teal blue 80 denier tights with 6 inch stiletto heels to complete the outfit, not to mention her raspberry coloured bra which clashed violently with the coral blouse, which, as it happens, was more transparent than she realised, Dave picked up a hammer and began,excitedly,to mend the broken chair as this would put her in his debt.
“This is what life is all about,my boy” he thought.Little did he know the true tale, that Annie had murdered her husband merely because she felt very  bored.
Boredom is very dangerous.If you are affected why not go out and look at some hats?

I do and look at me!

I love you so much,Amy May

My spouse has gone out of his head
but he’s still lying here on the bed.
He’s got hands warm as toast
And I love him the most.
Thank God,for I thought he was dead.

He looked peaceful and calm as he lay
I was uncertain of what I should say.
So I left him to find
The way out through his mind.
He cried,Oh,I love you so much,Amy May.

Who Amy May is, I don’t know.
But her dream face gave him a hot glow.
Why should I deprive
This man of a life?
After all, I am only but his wife!

Generosity

Even near a busy road,
Flowers bloom as well as they do in lonely gardens.
They show us the true meaning of generosity
And determination,
despite their vulnerability.
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Live like a flower
Die like a rose.

Rise up in springtime
As the sap flows.
While flowers bloom they are open to the world.
They never turn away  unless knocked down by storms.
So vulnerable,yet so strong,
They give us hope,
And ask only for a little mercy.

 

Wonce mower with feeling

I wonce had a doctor who bred.
He had sixty fower sons to bee fed ;
for he had twenty wives
And fower lovers beside…
His sixty five gurls all got wed.

So the doctor created a tribe.
And wrote millions of emales besides.
At last he wore out,
Then he wallowed in dowt
About what sort of drink to imbibe.

Brandy is good for gut panes.
And to rub neat onto your chillblanes.
Yet whiskey galo’er
When the rane down doth pore
Can make won feel spring like wonce moor.

You have to leave me

I  know you have to leave me,
Though you desire a longer stay
Let me hold you in my arms now
For just tonight and, perhaps. one day.

Then I’ll watch you travel on,sweet.
We   take this last step all alone.
I’ll be here beside you watching.
I shall sense when you are gone.

May you accept, may you surrender.
May you reach the promised land.
Into this earth my tears will fall,love
When I feel your cold,cold hands

Lady love

I love the long ,lean lingering look of her
Legs like twin silver birch trunks
delicately balancing her elegant,exotic body.
Her blue eyed humorous gaze rests on me.
How her inner being vibrates in subtle motion
like an unmowed meadow of poppies does
in a summer wind.
Her smile is the sun on a lawn of pure white daisies
her own self a tall stemmed flower
opening slowly to the sun
revealing her deep,deep center