Love knows what to do

Some folk are made of rubber

Some folk are made of glass

And when the stormy winds blow

Rubber lets them pass.

Bela Bartok using a gramaphone to record folk ...
Bela Bartok using a gramaphone to record folk songs sung by Czech peasants. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

i

Some folk have eyes like water

Some folk have eyes like ice.

And when we’re introduced

We do not look there twice.

Some folk have learned to use us

Some folk give us respect.

With those who will not

Old Town School of Folk Music
Old Town School of Folk Music (Photo credit: life is good (pete))

see us

We cannot  connect.

Some folk where born  to sunshine

Some folk were born to storm

And fears imagined in the mind

Can cause such dreadful harm

Oh,hold me to your bosom

Oh.hold me close to you

Some folk were made to hate and fear

But love knows what to do

Moses was an Eruption

Freud wrote a book called Moses and Monotheism during the transition he was forced to make  to the UK from Vienna  owing to fear of Nazi arrest and its consequences.His four sisters all died in those Concentration Camps.In this book he apparently suggests that Moses was Egyptian.Edward Said has also written a book about Moses.Some people say he was a ruler in Egypt who had to leave for political reasons….He was obviously very talented.

trees swirl

Moses was an Eruption I hear.So he had to be kept warm in a basket.
Then Foureyes daughter let him gloat  down on the  River Nile…till a bull rushed him
Then he turned into a shrew and found God.. or God found him
But God would not let him find Galilee so he found Emilee ,Loelee and Phoeebilee linstead.
He had many children such as Matthew,Hark,Look and Gone.They were all men and had more children with no wives.They didn’t have any women so who did Cain and Abel marry?Eve?
Is this what Freud never realized… men used to marry their mothers and later their daughters who were also their sisters,Crikey,what a blunder
Blimey what is this Bible?Libel?
As we were taught in school Daniel lived with a lion and a lamb.I’m unsure if they had children…. it might explain a lot if they did.
And finally Solomon was very wise.It was easier then when there was no judge or jury to stop him cutting a baby in two… well, he was just pretending.
I say,the Shrews were very shrewd and clever.Like who told Adam and Eve what to do before Masters and Johnson wrote that book.. the Human Textual despondency?
In any case Adam could not read.In fact they didn’t write either.And to think children here can write so young.Adam and Eve were a bit lacking but they have lots of family
Everybody on Earth… pity they are dead and can’t see us though Goodness knows they’d be shocked if they saw our behaviour with our family

Shame.. is it the most painful emotion?

I don’t know if it is possible to answer this question.Shame is definitely distressing.Guilt is painful but I believe it usually relates to an act or something we said to hurt someone whereas shame is related to our whole self,our existence as a person… and if we feel bad about that then we do suffer.
I am just rambling on but what comes to my mind are occasions when we have been out with some friends eating a meal in a pub or restaurant when one of a couple starts to tell of all the bad things the husband or wife has done.Is this because they can’t summon up the courage to talk when at home?
And some of the things were criticised about were ridiculous.. like a wife who had had a Freudian analysis in about two years berated her husband who had begun before her and still not finished.As they were well off it wasn’t the financial aspect.But is that not sadistic to reveal your husband’s lengthy therapy to others who are not that close…
The very fact that this woman did that made me wonder how deeply her own therapy had gone.. which seems to imply I expect people to be improved morally by having psychoanalysis.I am unsure why I think that except that if you have dealt with your own neuroses ,your shadow etc.,one might imagine you’d have more sympathy for others’ struggles… and thus be a better person…. in general..
I can’t put down many examples because I would not want anyone to recognise themselves but I do wonder about the ethics of blurting out criticism of a friend or partner in front of acquaintances.
If you genuinely wanted help, and both agreed ,it might be better.. just to share a problem to put into words a shaming doubt
This leads me to something like the following idea…Why do we treat so called loved ones worse than other people?I believe it might be because we expect more from them,perhaps irrationally get angry or anxious when we don’t get our expectations met. I have a friend who tried to hold her husband by her fantastically good cooking.Unfortunately he had grown up with a mother who had servants and he was completely unaware of her efforts.I knew as I was also just married and doing a lot of extra work… but my husband had to travel a long way to work so that was my contribution.I had enough energy then to cook and entertain people… not cook the people,cook for them,I mean…..
Ahaa,that makes me laugh…
Once I opened the oven door and a flame shot out and set my hair on fire…I never knew about cleaning the oven properly as my mum was a single parent of 5 children and never had time for cleaning.Cooking,sewing,knitting.. yes… sheets changed .. yes..
Maybe I should have used my brain!
I went back into the living room and carried on serving the meal.
Maybe that’s why my hair has gone wispy…
What makes us feel shame?Is it rejection? That a friend no longer likes us? But they may be rejecting us because they fear closeness and intimacy with anyone,not just us.So they move on from flower to flower like the butterflies…As they say, what people do and say might tell us more about them than about us… possibly.
I suppose some people feel shame if their dad is sent to jail but others regard it as normal..Some feel shame if they wear second hand clothing but that is fashionable now.. to go to jumble sales in wealthy areas where people change their wardrobe every . year..
Well.I’ll leave it there for now and embroider it later.i meant brood on it later.

Summer of love

lighter tree

Shimmering light
The lily pond
The music of your eye
The touch of your arm
Your always honey smell.
I love.

Rustling trees in a row,
A wide green lawn;
People stoop to see small flowers.

A snail on the path.
The perfection of the shell.
I believe

Unusually tall dandelions
at the edge of this wood
Wave in the warm west wind.
We smile.

Sitting pen in hand
I wonder what I would have written
In all the letters I’ve not sent you.

Far away on the Ridgeway,
Cars, like ants,
Rush towards the motorway.
They make us laugh.
How green the meadows
How fresh the old trees.

I gaze at you.
I find I am.
It’s mutual.
We are.

It’s here.

Rereading favorite books

Penelope-Fitzgerald-A-Lifephoto1230_001

 

Sometimes we want to read the new novels from the Review in our weekend paper but for a few years I have taken great pleasure in reading books which I have already read once or even twice. I reread some of Nicholas Freeling’s novels this winter.I noticed some  parts which I had not absorbed before. These were especially with the landscapes he creates.In fact he has a very painterly way of writing .A watercolorist’s way,perhaps.In that he reminds me,oddly, of Virginia Woolff.

He was a writer who changed the nature of the detective story.I read him for his depictions of relationships, people,different countries. My favorites are the Castang series which were never filmed… a great pity but who could play this man realistically? I suppose I have similar values to Freeling which always helps. He clearly loves women which is rare, in my view

Photo1243

I interviewed myself today

 

Pendle_Hill_above_mist_235-0004from wikipedia.Pendle Hill

Q.What made you start writing poetry?

K.I loved poetry but never believed I could write it.But then I found some old poetry I’d written and put aside.Also I was envying a young relative who was doing English Literature at college and also creative writing.That gave me an incentive to escape from envy into activity.

Q.Is it difficult to begin writing when you are older?

K.Not at all,in my case.I found it easier perhaps because one has less to lose in terms of the judgment of others.And secondly an awareness of the finiteness of life urges me to develop and enjoy my talents.And thirdly I have some visual problems which impelled me to take Art classes.I found that much,much harder than writing.

Q.Why did you find Art harder?

K.I was brought up in a working class home where the main interest outside work was music.I played two instruments and sang but we had little knowledge of Art beyond the dour portraits of local dignitaries in the Town Hall or paintings of Jesus and his Mother and other religious subjects.These did not touch me deeply.

Q,So what did move you?

A.I bought a print of a painting by Monet in of all places a small department store.I was about 20.The painting was of tulip fields.This was very different in style from the other paintings I’ve mentioned.From there I developed an interest in Impressionism and later I learned to enjoy Picasso.I had real difficulty with my first viewings of Paul Klee but he is now someone I love very much.I think Picasso affected me the most strongly.I once fell down before one of his drawings… my knees gave way.No-one else’s work has done that.Drawing,the line,seems to affect me most intensely.
The artist I like best is Cezanne.I am unsure why.

Q.Why were you in difficulty in the classes?

K.~I was the only totally ignorant person there.I knew no techniques at all.There is something difficult even for a writer to mark the blank page.For an aspiring artist it’s more,much more,problematical.

Q.So did you make progress?

K.A little.I have a strong feeling for colour.That helped.But before I got much skill I had to stop attending class and now have been exploring digital art.This has taught me what I like.I like to draw two pe ople or two objects in relation to each other.

Q.Did you realise how much poetry was in you?

K.No.I thought I’d write 6 or 7 but when I got there I was hooked on the process.I realise some if the poems were not very good but I was surprised to find a few that were and so I have kept on writing.

Q.Why writing rather than Art?

K.I believe it may be the musical quality of poetry that draws me in.

Q.which poets do you like?

K.Far too many to put here,but here are a few modern ones

Simon Armitage
Wendy Cope.
Philip Larkin.
eecummings.less
Sylvia Plath for her great technique and moulding her material,less so for her topics!
Ted Hughes.
Carol Ann Duffy

Slightly further back

Auden
McNiece
Spender
Yeats
Hopkins
Wordsworth.

Earlier

I love the metaphysical poets

I love Shakespeare’s sonnets but I am pretty ignorant of early English writing.

Q.Do you emulate any poet?

K. No,I cannot write that way.

Q.Any further points?

K.Yes,writing is a tremendous pleasure and gives me at best a link to someone or

something far beyond my self as I am usually aware of it.And also I can amuse

myself writing nonsense which saves me buying funny books.And annoys a few of my

family and friends too.C’est la vie

Q.Thank you very much.

K My pleasure…but enough now.I’ll  just mention that the internet has it’s bad side.I was once called a tart on a public forum on  poetry website… so if you write on such a place check their policy on porn,obscenity etc.If it is allowed by default then keep clear.

IMG_0290

Being critical

 

Cracks in the pavement 3

I gave someone a book which contains extracts from the sketchbooks of a number of artists.We were talking on the phone and she said she likes to look at their work and especially when they went wrong,made mistakes.
At the time I felt surprised so I said nothing.I wouldn’t do that because I consider myself not to be knowledgeable as an artist.
Still perhaps I should imitate her!Maybe I am too deferebtial in my attitude to artists considered to be good…
However,always looking first for what is wrong in life or art or anything else could make one negative.

Live without fear

English: Primal Fear Live at Hirsch in Nurembe...
English: Primal Fear Live at Hirsch in Nuremberg at 2007-12-18 Deutsch: Primal Fear bei ihrem Auftritt im Hirsch in Nürnberg am 18. Dezember 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I  can live very well without you

I feel less lonely now

I can be who i am discreetly

Safe from your u

ndertow

I like to have space for.my dreaming

And growing pink cyclamen.

I shall nourish my garden freely

And write with my ancient blue pen.

I like to meet friends in a cafe

Talk with no critical ear.

I loved you before i knew you

But now i can live without fear

I’ll try and try all by myself.I don’t need anybody

????

I am absolutely determined to relax.

I’ll relax even if it kills me.

I shall not be beaten

I’ll try  and try

and if that doesn’t work…

I am sure I can think of some way to achieve

the most relaxed state a human being has ever reached

Because I have to win.

Even if it kills me.

Obsession,it’s the. new way to relax.

My will power is astonishing.

I am better than you

LITERARY OR POPULAR FICTION?

political-pictures-darth-vader-blasphemy-style

This  is  verygood.[I was just practising how to do a lnk there!I am  not fully trained in editing.]
This is an interesting article about the difference between literary and popular fiction.I have written a few short stories but always wanted to write a novel.
I love Nicholas Freeling.His  novels are written as detective stories but they qualify as literary fiction.I especially like,Dresden Green.
You can get a full  list of his novels via the link above.I shall be mulling over the thought of writing this weekend and looking a people walking by as I stroll along.
Why do we women wear such clothes?Why is “feminine” a bad word… like flowered dresses?How can one reconcile feminism with femininity?We don’t all want abortions like Simone de Beauvoir.
The other day I wore a dress and my partner said,Auntie E!
Not a compliment is it?I was wondering how good my imagination is.It’s based on experience

A new to me book website:Bookish.

My original idea was to write about books.I just found this new website devoted to books.Here is a funny article about how Freud would have judged 5 fictional characters.It is in the Huff Post.Under the photo of Freud it says this was originally on Bookish.Click that link  to visit Bookish and sign up if you like it

I can’t get the link right for Bookish

Thinking too much or the wrong kind of thinking?

I do not agree that having thoughts,ideas or words in your head  means that you are thinking.You may be obsessing or tormenting yourself….

free_animal_angels_screensaver-131729-3

Some quotes:

“Five percent of the people think;
ten percent of the people think they think;
and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.”
Thomas A. Edison

THINKING TOO MUCH?

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Thinking-Too-Much

Now I wonder if I am out of date

Now I wonder if I am out of date

I don’t  think I will masturbate in public but on Sweden,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Did he wear a paper bag? Where did he wear it?Sex,lies and paper bags… it’s the silly season alright.

Soon it may be compulsory,but seriously………….. what is happening to Europe?

Because real knowledge will hurt.

I don’t want to see reality

But I don’t want to lose your care

I want to go on being selfish,

Yet having you always there.

I don’t want to acknowledge your feelings

I ‘m aware I have been very curt

I want to go on not noticing you

Because such real knowledge will hurt.

The longer I go on being blind to you,

The longer I choose not to see,

The more I will hurt you ,my loved one,

The more hard and unfeeling I’ll be.

I don’t want to see reality

I’m frightened of what I may find

I hope a friend will be with me,

While I traverse the dark shades of my mind.

I am afraid to look at at reality

But it’s safer for me if I do

I hope I’ll find enough fortitude

To be able to bear what is true

Honesty from Doris Lessing

Doris Lessing

“Sometimes I dislike women, I dislike us all, because of our capacity for not-thinking when it suits us; we choose not to think when we are reaching our for happiness.”
Doris Lessing, The Golden Note

The most amazing thing……………Doris Lessing in wikiquotes

I never even heard of wikiquotes!Then I find a whole page on Lessing.Oddly.though I  read most of her books years ago I didn’t register most of these sentences.She is more than just a novelist,or should I say she is what novelists may aspire to be.,she thinks truthfully and with imagination

    • Political correctness is the natural continuum from the party line. What we are seeing once again is a self-appointed group of vigilantes imposing their views on others. It is a heritage of communism, but they don’t seem to see this.
      • The Sunday Times, London (10 May 1992)
  • It is terrible to destroy a person’s picture of himself in the interests of truth or some other abstraction.
  • If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
    • Particularly Cats, ch. 2 (1967)

Chekhov improves your social skills but only if you read him!

Apparently reading high brow novels increases your empathy and understanding of others more than reading chick lit or nonfiction does.

Please click on “novels”above

About Peter Lomas

About Peter Lomas

Although Peter Lomas was a psychoanalyst he was a rare rebel,a wonderful writer and a master of the language

I read his books regularly for their wisdom and courage.And his stories.Most of all I love his truthfulness

 

“In this regard, the centrality of ethics in human relations, I think Peter has much in common with Emmanuel Levinas, the French Jewish thinker who put ethics at the very heart of our being, as what makes us human beings, ethics in the sense of the priority of the other and our responsibility to that other.  Of course Levinas’s language was not Peter’s, but for myself I still find him inspiring, despite the predictably obscurantist and cliched ways in which his thought has been taken up and the horribly religious-like tone of too many conversations about his work.  Not for the first time is a return to the source called for.”

From the cited article

Simone de Beauvoir

If you want to be well supplied with reading for the winter,here is someone who wrote both novels and the famous book,The Second Sex.You probably already know de Beauvoir was the partner of Jean Paul Sartre though it was an open relationship.Despite her saying she wanted freedom I suspect she was not totally happy with  that situation and also had many abortions….such a choice is not one most women would make.Here is an interview with her in the  Paris Review

But I just want to introduce her novels here.And thisis for a gneral reader,not an academic.

The most ambitious is “The Mandarins“.It is very much based on her own life and caused much pain to her ex lover Nelson Algren,the writer.You will get a very good idea of post war intellectual life in Paris amongst the founders of

Existentialism .And there are many  portraits of those people and their relationships.My probelns with this novel is

It looks like a novel

It feels like a novel

It’s written  like a novel

But does it come alive?

For me  it is too cerebral and there is  little /contribution from  or  openness to the Imagination.I feel it was written by will power and not by the head and heart.Everything is a little detached,a little cold

On the other hand where is all that commitment  now in our political/cultural  life?

These people live………….Ansel Adams

These people live again in print as intensely as when their images were captured on old dry plates of sixty years ago… I am walking in their alleys, standing in their rooms and sheds and workshops, looking in and out of their windows. Any they in turn seem to be aware of me.
Ansel Adams

The enigma of windows

Houses at one time had only slits to let in light and to let out smoke.This used to be in the roof as a house was just one space in which living was shared.

Nowadays most houses have quite large windows.We like this as we love the light ; we love to look out to see trees or to see people go by.So windows were designed for the people living inside a house.(Prisons were often devoid of light)We all like to see out but something designed for one function—to let in light and air also has consequences that we may not have realized.. if we can see our ,others can see in,for example.I know people do this as I have a foolish neighbor who passes comments on my books.Not only that but she comments on my feet and my clothes.

Some of us put lace curtains on the window to stop people looking in .Buit they also cut down on what we can see out there and the light is reduced.

It’s the same with our ego.We have defense mechanisms to protect us but they also cut down on what we can perceive or receive.They are barriers,

So in both cases we need some defense but too much will handicap us.

This is the enigma of windows and doors.We are prisoners without them and we are vulnerable when we have too many.We must live in a tower or a castle or a house….balanced between security and the excitement of discovery and new perceptions.

Dusk so I’m off for my walk

Now  it’s dusk and the lights are on I shall go out to see who has redecorated their front rooms for Spring…and who is watching TV.I should have been a spy really but I just have to pretend.And I think I blush too easily so I would betray myself.Still I can make up stories about the people around me which are maybe more thrilling than reality.Since people sleep upstairs I shan’t see any nude..I hope.That would be embarrassing.It’s mainly the decor that interests me.That’s what I tell  the police!