I don’t know what to wear in this hot weather Mary said to her friend Annie who lived  next door.qr 80

I don’t have many cotton dresses and in any case they don’t seem to be fashionable now even in the summer

What about wearing very low rise jeans with a short top so that the wind will blow onto your midriff and cool you down?

That’s a good idea said Mary I’ll just go upstairs and get dressed would you mind putting the kettle on to make us some tea when I come down again?

Mary went upstairs and wondered what underwear to wear with her low-rise jeans

When she went downstairs her friend admired her navy blue top with polka dots and her chambray trousers

I think it’s a great idea to wear black knickers with your jeans in case you bend over and they become visible

Yes these are my incontinence pants;you can get them in black or white now and I expect in a few years or a few months you’ll be able to get red ones.

I do hope that when you havec had your surgery for your kidney that you will no longer be incontinent.

So do I said Mary balefully. Still it says me from washing and ironing seven  pairs of knickers a week

Did you iron your knickers asked her friend in amazement?

Yes because I was told it could kill any bacteria living there which might cause infections but the bacteria were coming from inside my body from the stones in my kidneys

I’ve always thought it’s a pity that if we have to have stones in our kidneys old gallbladder that there’s no gold or silver among them at least we went some money from our condition;

Oh, said Annie I thought you could wear a pair of red knickers over the top of your black incontinence pabts although it might make you look fat. And you still have to wash the red ones even if you didn’t need to iron them

0y next you’ll be suggesting I put a red bra over  or under my black one

Marks & Spencer’s profits would rise if women started wearing more underwear butb

it will be very hot

Oh I had  better go to the kitchen and make the coffee said Mary hospitably..

She found Emile in the kitchen watching a frog which was trying to get water from the draina goodness me z it’s one interesting difference between cats and human beings cats can kill other living creatures without guilt or fear although some human beings do have that psychopathic ability

If every animal or bird had a birth certificate then it would be possible to register death for them but since there are so many it would be a great strain on the economy of the country

Well I am thinking Emile said that it will not be possible because most animals and birds can’t read and write

Oh how I envy them said Annie because it took me so long to become literate in any case they don’t use a common language like English. Each species has different sounds that they can make but it’s not the same as having words

So true, said Mary and she drank her coffee

How difficult life would be if all the birds in your garden could speak English and talk to you when you go out to fill the bird feeder in the winter crying out that they want roast beef and Yorkshire pudding  not bird seeds.

Well let’s just be grateful that apart from Emile most animals cannot speak read or write do not have a common language and do not require houses schools public transport etc

What is the conclusion we can draw from this Mary said to her self

Was the world a better place where most people  were illiterate? And they did not need barrel or carrot leg jeans v nor the latest fashion in shoes

And they would keep warm with open fires

Then there would be no company is making millions out of our heating bill wonders noe wondering what to wear