One said she was going to gas herself
I told her this North Sea gas won’t kill you
The other imagined sleeping pills
But Valium won’t do it either.
Life is so hard now for hysterical women who are not afraid of God.
They have to walk off a cliff but there are none near here.
So I tell them, that’s life, my dear.
Why not move into a 24 storey tower block?
That will broaden your scope.
While there’s life there’s hope.

Women won the freedom to conform
To imitating men by caring less;
To political correctness,  dress, reformed

Everywhere the male is still the norm
And that is how we females have to dress
Women won the freedom to conform

Though secretly, we aim now to suborn
Unwilling to admit the weariness
Of political correctness,  dress, reformed

Now it’s  sexual harassment reborn
To admire women, more or less.
We all won the freedom to conform

The book of rules is burned, by gum, it’s warm
Trousers are the “holy” way to dress
For political correctness and a life reformed

No more will matrimony be well blessed
The arts of love no longer are addressed
Women won the freedom to conform
By politically correct new slogans ,arm to arm

I have bought something and asked to collect from Argos.It is sitting at the Royal Mail depot because today is Saturday and the seller did not look at the website where it is possible with skill to find Saturday is ££3.50 more.
Argos is !/2 mile from the Sorting Office.But nobody can collect the parcel till Monday

From Royal Mail website

Royal Mail Special Delivery [Nothing about SATURDAY HERE]
Guaranteed by 1pm®

100g£6.
45500g£7.25
1kg£8.552kg

£11.0010kg
£26.6020kg£41.20
Read more at http://www.postoffice.co.uk/mail/uk-guaranteed#v5q9RgWeWmlwU6F1.99

 

It is only if you read further down the page you see Saturday mentioned.

Quote:

Do you have a letter or parcel that is valuable or needs to be there the next day? Choose our Guaranteed services when you need:

• the item to arrive next day
• to track important items online and get proof of delivery, including a signature
• the assurance of compensation for valuable items
• seller protection if you are selling online

Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed®

Get the peace of mind that comes with knowing that important post has arrived safely – use Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed®.

Why use Special Delivery Guaranteed?

• Follow your letters and parcels from the moment it leaves your hands to the second it arrives with Track & Trace
• Choose to have your item delivered by 9am or by 1pm
• We’re so confident your item will arrive on time, you will receive a refund if it doesn’t*
• Your item won’t be delivered without a signature, which can be viewed online 10 minutes after delivery

What else is included?

• Up to £50 compensation cover for Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed® by 9am
• Up to £500 compensation cover for Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed® by 1pm
• Guaranteed Saturday delivery (additional costs will apply)
• Increased compensation available for up to £2,500
• Consequential loss (compensation for financial consequences of damage or loss) of up to £10,000 available for an additional fee

Read more at http://www.postoffice.co.uk/mail/uk-guaranteed#uSrxgmGeAfeev3tj.99

 

Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed by 1pm® with Saturday Guarantee	100g	£11.94
	500g	£12.90
	1kg	£14.46
	2kg	£17.40
	10kg	£36.12
	20kg	£53.54

 

Category	Max weight

Read more at http://www.postoffice.co.uk/mail/uk-guaranteed#zO77y7z8udqS1RcL.99

Topology, a branch of mathematics, is sometimes called rubber sheet geometry.
It’s a sad world when mathematicians have to study the sheets of those of us who have leaky bladders.
However, if Tracy Emin’s bed is a work of art it extends the possibilities for scientists and mathematicians.And this needed because with all academics having to publish very frequently they might run out of topics.
So we might have a study of duvets and the different shapes they might assume when they are covering just one person, two people, three people and since we are mathematicians, we could study their shapes when covering an infinite number of people.
Alternatively how about the effect of one person being covered by an infinite number of duvets?
Would it be aleph-null the infinity of the rational numbers or aleph 0ne [the infinity of the real numbers]?
Aleph one is the bigger of the two .
Aleph is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet… and it is used because mathematicians already have used up the Greek alphabet.
So now we use the Hebrew one which is slightly different.
If you learned calculus you will recall all those delta x’s and delta y’s.
This makes me think calculus is part of geomorphology and I do believe that geomorphology which studies the surface of the earth is linked to the love and study of the mother’s face and body by human infants.
So calculus is linked to the studied love of babies.Can it be that if you had a disturbed infancy you will find mathematics very hard? Plastic geometry and plastic surgery will be dealt with later but obviously again it is linked to love or hate of the body though our bodies are not usually made from plastic but who knows the future?

They  have asked me to help a woman doing a maths degree at the OU
I said,I have forgotten it all
But she has cancer, they report.
I still can’t remember much except
Most numbers are transcendental
They are infinite in number yet we have only discovered a few
Pi and e are two
The other numbers also infinite in number yet are a “smaller infinity” than the first I mentioned.
As for addition and multiplication
It’s better in bed!

Did you  know that
A self-defrosting refrigerator
Just has a channel and a little hole in the wall
Behind that is a small  sponge
So much for modern technology.

 

Now my DVD player won’t open
Apparently, there is a rubber band inside it.
They gradually dry out
Then the machine won’t work
Do they think I will take it apart?
I’ll go the cinema and see a film there
One might have thought after Einstein and Heisenberg
And Goya, Picasso and Paul Klee
We’d have found a better way
Of dealing with the every day.

Does it matter if I cast my vote
The polling station is a common ground
Will it make a difference what I write?

If our writing’s good it should throw light
On whether politicians are unsound
Or if it matters, should I  go to vote

Today the atmosphere in Britain’s not too bright
We are from chaos just one single bound
Will it make a difference what I write?

Ideas like shadow’s on the walls of caves
Need capturing immediately they’re found
Does it matter if I use my vote?

In our country, all our nerves are taut
A little noise will wantonly resound
Will it make a difference what I write?

The politicians strident still abound
The agents of derision lead their hounds
Does it matter if I cast my vote
Will it make a difference that I wrote?

 

 

I

The pathos of the bull

http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/7-things-will-doom-novel-avoid

Do thesee exercises

• The Five-Minute Nonstop. Write for five minutes, first thing in the morning if possible, without stopping to think about what you’re writing. No correcting. Just write.
• The Page-Long Sentence. Choose something to describe (a room or a character) and write a page-long sentence about it, not pausing to edit and instead going on whatever tangents present themselves.
• The List Maker. Whenever you’re stuck for an idea to pursue, make a list. Brainstorm ideas without assessing them. Turn off your filter. Get lots of ideas, then pick the best one.

Writers who have dulled the inner critic don’t worry about getting the words right. The only thing they worry about is getting the words written.

 

“The people” have chosen to exit
The Europe to which we belong
My husband is fuming
His identity’s human
We’re not English cos our name is too long

My big  head is   a gift from the Vikings
The bones in my feet are all Celts
My blue eyes are Irish
My lips are  quite smilish
So  being European was a help.

The man who delivers the parcels
Puts Mary down as my surname
For even the Londoners
Hear it with wonderment
It’s Danish, I say, try again

Thwaite is a puzzle to many
Like Hebrew names might be to me
For  vowels are guessed at
Just how brilliant is that?
You  just have to believe it to see

 

I

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Latin_phrases_(O)

 

omne initium difficile est

every beginning is difficult

I have got three odd shoes in my bedroom
Though all of them seem to be black
Where have their partners gone?
What on earth have  I done?
I must be distidy, what luck!

When I take them off in the late evening
I should peg them together right then
They like to go wandering
Leaving me wondering
If I should really be a  stray man.

For  women used to do all the housework
Being  tidy should be up our street
I f God made a mistake
Why can’t he remake
My brain and recreate me more neat?

---

 

1, This is for women- have your hair cut short in May in a decent hairdressers.You will be cooler in the summer and by November it should have grown about 3 inches.Have it trimmed but keep long so your head will feel warmer in winter

Savings: The minimum charge here is £35.A new place opened where it is £52.If you only go 2 or 3 times a year instead of 8  you will save £175.
2.Make a loaf of bread  at home.You don’t need a machine.Quality bread here  in a proper bakery is £2.50  for a large loaf.Buy dried yeast and strong flour… save  maybe £60 a year
3 Become a supporter of your newspaper online.ThGuardianan asks for £5 per month.The daily paper costs £2, more at the weekend.So potentially large savings…
4.When you go out make sure you go to the loo before coming home.For people who work from home or are retired,  it means your water bill is much higher.Go into Starbucks and use theirs! Or any other big chain.What a pity Amazon haveno coffee shops!
5 Don’t use toothpaste.It is not essential.Brush well.
6 Combine last year’s autumn clothes in different ways.Just buy a new scarf or knit one.Knitting is quite expensive nowadays though you can buy wool from places online….
7 Have only 2 meals a day.Plus fruit or carrots.
8 Reuse every bit of paper you can.
9 Write letters.The stamps are expensive but phone calls are too.
!0.Borrow/share books.

 

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150413-the-downsides-of-being-clever?ocid=ww.social.link.email

Extract

Mental blind spots

The harsh truth, however, is that greater intelligence does not equate to wiser decisions; in fact, in some cases it might make your choices a little more foolish. Keith Stanovich at the University of Toronto has spent the last decade building tests for rationality, and he has found that fair, unbiased decision-making is largely independent of IQ. Consider the “my-side bias” – our tendency to be highly selective in the information we collect so that it reinforces our previous attitudes. The more enlightened approach would be to leave your assumptions at the door as you build your argument – but Stanovich found that smarter people are almost no more likely to do so than people with distinctly average IQs.

People who ace cognitive tests are more likely to see past their own flaws

That’s not all. People who ace standard cognitive tests are in fact slightly more likely to have a “bias blind spot”. That is, they are less able to see their own flaws, even when though they are quite capable of criticising the foibles of others. And they have a greater tendency to fall for the “gambler’s fallacy” – the idea that if a tossed coin turns heads 10 times, it will be more likely to fall tails on the 11th. The fallacy has been the ruination of roulette players planning for a red after a string of blacks, and it can also lead stock investors to sell their shares before they reach peak value – in the belief that their luck has to run out sooner or later.

A tendency to rely on gut instincts rather than rational thought might also explain why a surprisingly high number of Mensamembers believe in the paranormal; or why someone with an IQ of 140 is about twice as likely to max out their credit card.

Indeed, Stanovich sees these biases in every strata of society. “There is plenty of dysrationalia – people doing irrational things despite more than adequate intelligence – in our world today,” he says. “The people pushing the anti-vaccination meme on parents and spreading misinformation on websites are generally of more than average intelligence and education.” Clearly, clever people can be dangerously, and foolishly, misguided.

 

 

If they ordered children to be good
We thought it must be possible and right
So virtue must by will power   be oruled

We assumed that adults understood
Our feelings and our nature and our sight
When they ordered children to be good

Our selves were growing like the flowers in bud
Tender, wild and vulnerable to blight
When virtue was by will power  harshly oruled

Yet school is   a mere prison in the flood
Of growth towards the sun and its great light
Yet they ordered children to be good

By watching other people and their moods
We noticed how obsessively they cried
That virtue can by will power  be  ruled

They frightened us by saying when we died
God would judge us harshly   in his Pride
If they  believed that fear would make us good
Virtue must by terror  cruel be  ruled

And that can’t be right

I wanted to be good and thought  that meant
I need only wish to make it so:
I was what I desired in my intent

I suffered from strange tortures  throughout Lent
I dropped a boiling kettle on my toe
I wanted to be good and thought  it  meant

On my birthday I was quite absent
Any joy, I thought saints did not show
I was what I desired in pure intent

 

I thought God  lived like Moses in a tent
I feared Hell and saw the rosy glow
I wanted to be good yet turmoil   rent

As I grew,  neurosis in me sent
The fires of hell  to cause my overflow
I was by men desired though not fluent

I realised too late how I don’t  know
Who I am nor whither I should go.
I wanted to be good and thought  that meant
I was what I desired with such intent

This life is just a film where we play parts
If you take a trip or bad luck hits
Choose  the courage of the  human heart

Love’s the root of all the good that starts
But  power will hide in love until it’s hot
This life  might be a film where we play parts

Love and power are sometimes both inert
Yet from real love, the human is begot
With  what damage to the  human heart?

In error then we falsely do deport
The souls  whose ignorance is  a woeful threat
This life  might be a film where we learn art

In Stalin’s time,  the people wrote reports,
Were spies in networks friendship made unthought
With death to  courage  and the  human heart

Of the love of mothers, we forget
Before we spoke she was the  heart we met
This life is  a  great play with many parts
To enhance the courage  of our shuddering hearts