Bright sun
Paints a shadow picture
On the white wall
Dried stems
Of Michaelmas daisies
A leaf caught in a cobweb sways
To and fro.
I gaze.
Silence.
He bent over backwards,alas
With his finger up his nose and his tongue in his cheek it was hard for me to see what kind of man he was.
His lips were pursed.his eyebrows were raised and his ears were bigger than Prince Charles’s.
His jacket had been darned and his trousers had shrunk in the wash.I like that carelesss appearance as long as they are cleanish
He leaned over backwards to help me but alas fell into the duck pond.
Who will I get next from Guardian Jailmates?
I think I might be turning asexual
How about just a flat mate?
Back to the past
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Photos to give you a hint of blue
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Chronic pain and friendship
How to Cope When Chronic Pain Affects Friends, Family & Social Life
“Planning a social life around chronic pain and illness is hugely frustrating for everyone involved and – for those who are not in it for the long haul – can be swift to dissolve friendships. If you’ve ever known someone who keeps on saying that they want to catch up but never commits, or a friend who is constantly cancelling on you at the last minute, you know how frustrating that flakiness is.
Yet in our ever-erratic, unpredictable illness, our chronic pain can make us mimic that flaky friend to perfection. “On the one hand, we don’t want to over-commit to others and then have to cancel. On the other hand, we don’t want to unnecessarily isolate ourselves too much,” says patient, advocate and author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide
How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers, Toni Bernhard.
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Chronic pain and friendship
Doubts
This poem is written in the sonnet form,
And yet I have my doubts about its shape
Though nearly to that structure it conforms
There may be holes where nightmare faces gape.
It looks and speaks just as a sonnet would
And talks of metaphysical concerns.
Do we conclude, as poets and readers should,
That in our schizoid age we cannot learn?
For humans may be decked in clothes of wolves;
And lambs be dressed in lion’s fearsome furs.
Thus, sense is tricked and problems are unsolved.
Landscapes etched, yet details seem quite blurred.
It looks like one,it feels like one,it speaks;
Yet from these words, does human feeling leak?
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My kindle book
Vertigo by Alice Oswald
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/11/vertigo-by-alice-oswald
May I shuffle forward and tell you the two minute life of rain
Starting right now lips open and lidless-cold all-seeing gaze
When something not yet anything changes its mind like me
And begins to fall
In the small hours
And the light is still a flying carpet
Only a little white between worlds like an eye opening after an operation
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Cause of death 100
He kept his tongue in his cheek too long so he couldn’t eat
Starved to death
She had her head screwed on the wrong way
Lack of light
He wouldn’t wear his glasses so fell down a well
Unconscious suicide or vanity led to error
She wore shoes that were too small and died of untreated corns
Died of stupidity or poverty
His brain got stuck on the underground as his head fell off his body.
The glueless disease
She wore a yellow bikini on the beach which attracted a lot of wasps
Need I say more?
Died fighting as men wept
She was baking bread but got into the oven and was roasted with a potato
Bad luck.Only do one thing at a time
Died of hyperactivity and lack of concentration
He was writing a blog post and got sad as it seemed too poor
Then he drowned his sorrows [ and himself]
Moral: meet a few pals on their blogs
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My book
I have been making a Kindle book
The formatting has not come out as I expected
I may be able to edit it next week but it has about 300 poems!
If you would like to know where you can get this book for £2.50 please leave a comment
For my next book I am taking advice so it will look better and have a table of contents
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I will roar,cats
How to format oneś own kindle book
How to bend and never seem to stoop
How to make an omelette look well done
How to change your life and when itś done
How to smile when dying in a nook
How to live a life on noone´ś hook
How to chatter to a wraith or spook
How to kill a nun with dirty looks
How to end a battle ´fore it’ś done
I´ḿ a doormat
How to be a gracious and good cook
How to enjoy marriage with a crook
How to be alone when noone comes
How to cook a sausage with burnt thumb
How to be a saint with your own shrine
How to be my husband when he died
Lifeś no chore,Kat.
how
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Linda McCartney
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Stan meets the postman
Stan was brushing his sturdy tomcat Emile by the front window when he saw the postman coming up the path.This was a surprise as it was eight o’clock in the evening,though it was still quite light.He opened the door.
Goodness me,they are making you work hard” he murmured sympathetically to the weary looking postman.
Well,if I don’t do what they want there are 2.5 million unemployed people out there all seeking work” he said in a deep guttural voice.
I like your beard,cried Emile.And your moustache.
Do you like my new hat, asked the postman politely.
Yes,very much said the little cat.
Well,I have to wear it as I am a Conservative Jew.
I have never been quite sure what a Conservative Jew is,said Stan
And I have never been sure why the Church of England is international,replied the tired man wearily
Neither have I said Stan.It seems illogical.
He gave the postman some tea in a paper cup so he could drink it before he went any further.
Can I use your bathroom,he called to Stan who was admiring a few early daffodils.
Of course you can… it’s just at the top of the stairs.
When Arthur the postman came out he thanked Stan
Nowadays since all the public conveniences are no longer there it’s hard to find a lavatory and when you work a 12 hour day you do get to need a leak.
Yes,said Stan.I frequently have people using the loo…. or failing that you can go behind the hedge.
Just like me,thought Emile.I often go behind the hedge.I also take lady cats right to the back of the hedge for the purpose of lovemaking.
Have you ever made love under a hedge,Emile asked Arthur.
Or is it forbidden by your Mosaic Law?
Well,said Arthur,we can make love anywhere at all.But we have to be sure it is real love and not just us pretending to love someone in order to get something out of them.
That seems wise,said Stan.You seem a really wise man.
Yes,I did do a lot of studying till I lost my job as a University lecturer and had to work as a postman.But it does give me time to meditate.
And what is your advice to other humans,purred Emile.
Well,I’ll just offer you one thought,Don’t exploit others for self gratification and if you feel suicidal please tell someone or phone the Samaritans.
And if you do go ahead I advise you to burn your diaries,letters and other private writing…look at poor Sylvia Plath,How could she have been so stupid.Everything she ever wrote,even on the paper napkin at dinner was collected and published by her almost ex-husband.We seem to know more about her than anyone who ever lived.
You have a good point there,said Stan.
I work for the Samaritans one day a week and Emile sits by me and purrs to keep me happy.
You seem a good man,said Arthur.Then all of a sudden he disappeared… leaving just a smile in the air like the Chesire Cat.
Oh,my sweet Lord,Stan murmured.Was that who I think?
Yes,said Emile.I saw the heavenly host behind him singing
Why did he call here?
We’ll just have to wait and see… but I shall cut up my diary tomorrow and delete my journal from the computer.I don’t want to cause scandal after I die.
No,said Emile,just cause scandal while you are alive by taking yet another mistress.
You little devil,Said Stan
And then Stan and Emile both chuckled as they went back into the house.And Stan resumed brushing Emile and mused over the visitation whilst forgetting he had not cooked the dinner for his hardworking wife Mary.Luckily Mary is very patient
Goodness me,they are making you work hard” he murmured sympathetically to the weary looking postman.
Well,if I don’t do what they want there are 2.5 million unemployed people out there all seeking work” he said in a deep guttural voice.
I like your beard,cried Emile.And your moustache.
Do you like my new hat, asked the postman politely.
Yes,very much said the little cat.
Well,I have to wear it as I am a Conservative Jew.
I have never been quite sure what a Conservative Jew is,said Stan
And I have never been sure why the Church of England is international,replied the tired man wearily
Neither have I said Stan.It seems illogical.
He gave the postman some tea in a paper cup so he could drink it before he went any further.
Can I use your bathroom,he called to Stan who was admiring a few early daffodils.
Of course you can… it’s just at the top of the stairs.
When Arthur the postman came out he thanked Stan
Nowadays since all the public conveniences are no longer there it’s hard to find a lavatory and when you work a 12 hour day you do get to need a leak.
Yes,said Stan.I frequently have people using the loo…. or failing that you can go behind the hedge.
Just like me,thought Emile.I often go behind the hedge.I also take lady cats right to the back of the hedge for the purpose of lovemaking.
Have you ever made love under a hedge,Emile asked Arthur.
Or is it forbidden by your Mosaic Law?
Well,said Arthur,we can make love anywhere at all.But we have to be sure it is real love and not just us pretending to love someone in order to get something out of them.
That seems wise,said Stan.You seem a really wise man.
Yes,I did do a lot of studying till I lost my job as a University lecturer and had to work as a postman.But it does give me time to meditate.
And what is your advice to other humans,purred Emile.
Well,I’ll just offer you one thought,Don’t exploit others for self gratification and if you feel suicidal please tell someone or phone the Samaritans.
And if you do go ahead I advise you to burn your diaries,letters and other private writing…look at poor Sylvia Plath,How could she have been so stupid.Everything she ever wrote,even on the paper napkin at dinner was collected and published by her almost ex-husband.We seem to know more about her than anyone who ever lived.
You have a good point there,said Stan.
I work for the Samaritans one day a week and Emile sits by me and purrs to keep me happy.
You seem a good man,said Arthur.Then all of a sudden he disappeared… leaving just a smile in the air like the Chesire Cat.
Oh,my sweet Lord,Stan murmured.Was that who I think?
Yes,said Emile.I saw the heavenly host behind him singing
Why did he call here?
We’ll just have to wait and see… but I shall cut up my diary tomorrow and delete my journal from the computer.I don’t want to cause scandal after I die.
No,said Emile,just cause scandal while you are alive by taking yet another mistress.
You little devil,Said Stan
And then Stan and Emile both chuckled as they went back into the house.And Stan resumed brushing Emile and mused over the visitation whilst forgetting he had not cooked the dinner for his hardworking wife Mary.Luckily Mary is very patient
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Play with all us sinners now
Hi Furry, love your romanesque ;the bard is with me
Nursed were you on Mum’s venom
So you use a hooter to alarm us.
Sing oh layeeeh aye, tease and have fun with God
Play with all us sinners now
And at the sea shore let us take our last breath
With the shells and the sand let us rest
As the ocean moves with the moon and the stars
And all is one
For ever and ever
Amen
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I am not sure if I agree.
Being alone can be wonderful but loneliness is very painful.I don’t know who Henry Rollins was or even whether he said this!
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Thomas Hardy on poetry
This photo belongs to and was made by Mike Flemming
https://www.quotes.net/quote/57977
:
“Thomas Hardy Quotes.” Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2018. Web. 23 Aug. 2018. <https://www.quotes.net/quote/57977>.
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Like flowers fade, from summer clothes we part
The light of lamps and candles warms the heart
The sun is low in August, wondrous sky
Autumnal shades of red cause no remark
Like flowers fade, from summer clothes we part
We thought the sun would stay, .we told a lie
The light of lamps and candles helps the heart
Yet in my breast I feel a pain quite sharp
Have I any hope for future life?
Autumnal shades of red on leaves will start
The language of my sorrow,I shall parse
Why can’t I a woman have a wife?
The light of lamps and candles stays the heart
Correlation is confused with cause
We are all neurotic as we strive
Autumnal shades of red so bright so right
Is God dead or is he cold, unloved?
See the beggars dying in his dust
The light of lamps in windows I’m outside
Hollows out my life; with truth I lie
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A letter from Button
1,New Rd
Button
Suffolk
IPS0 0NO
UK
Dear Annette
I meant to write before but seeing you kept mentioning rubbish I had wondered if I should prune my blog and leave only the best poems here.However it is hard for me to decide,I don’t even remember many
I find I have to write a lot of so-so stuff before my mind and heart get working.It’s like exercise.But your letter was so funny, it cheered me up.What a pity we live so far apart.
Maybe we could hang out on Google Mail!I have no idea what it means,do you?
I miss getting letters with handwriting on them.Wondering whose it might be etc.Why don’t we do that? It would be very pleasurable to see your unique writing on an envelops
I had problems with my homework too.I decided to do Double Maths at A level as it would not take so much time up and then I could read novels.I didn’t know why or how we should do Lit Crit yet the English teacher cried when I was not down for A level.I do regret my error as it is a great sociial handicap although my optician who is Jewish says it’s no problem to them to have an intellectual wife.Still I am a bit too old to try another culture as I might mortally offend a hundred people at a stroke, and vice versa
I can see now what a blessing it might have been to read all the great writers and get paid to do it but curiosity also led me into maths as well.To be honest it was somewhat boring for a long time until we reached the higher slopes.Ah, well
Life goes so quickly.I’m reading Plath’s Journals and I see how she worried away so much of her time.That is a big mistake.Use worry for energy
Too much for girls to decide too rapidly when they are so gifted yet also want a family.And her psychoanalyst was not fully qualified
It seems to me the therapist “sold” her a story
I feel deprived of her later work.What a wonder it might have been
I look forward to hearing from you
With love
Mary, Emile and Stan’s old robin
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Stan in Neasden
Mary woke up on Tuesday feeling dazed.She had been dreaming of Arnold,her student boyfriend.so sweet and shy.
I wonder where he is now, she thought.Then she recalled he was in fact a world famous cancer researcher.She hoped he had found a shy sweet partner>
Emile was yowling on the landing despite the large bowl of Superior Cat Food he was standing next to by the bookshelf
I believe that people and animals like not just to eat, but to be fed,Mary thought.Stan used to make the dinner but he always wanted her to serve.Emile would eat his food after she stroked him.But who would stroke, Mary?This was a hard and topical question because Mary had stopped eating.However, as she was quite large, she could live for a few weeks on water only.So she mused
Mary put on a pair of purple trousers and a lomg lavender coloured top.She gazed into the mirror wondering why 3 hairdressers had failed to help her style her fair hair.
Now,she recalled Arnold was a Russian Jew by inheritance though he had lived in the USA all his life until taking up research into cancer at the ancient university Mary attended.If she had married Arnold she could have pretended to be religious,converted and then worn a wig.
Annie came running upstairs.
Whatever are you doing,she yelled.It’s 11 oclock! Her make up was melting despite being Max Doctor’s All Day Creme Mousse
I was wondering if I could find a Jewish man who would marry me, purely legally, just so I could wear a wig.
What a load of tripe,Annie retorted.No wonder you’ve had no breakfast.If the man was religious he could not marry a lapsed Christian. Or an agnostic.
If you want a wig just go online.
You have no imagination,Mary answered,I spend half my time wondering what would happen if I did A,B or C.And what I might wear
And then you do D,Annie joked merrily.Or X.
Where are you going in purple trousers,she continued.You should not wear them at your age.
Do purple trousers have a meaning,asked Mary.I got them in Windsmoor’s sale for £12.
I refrained from buying a jersey jumpsuit as it looked like a burkini and I am a bit nervous now of racists coming into the open.
Very sensible ,Annie told her.I bet the French are jealous because Muslim women and certain Jewish women don’t get skin cancer nearly as often as Christian or agnostic English women.Should we convert?
I don’t think they would like it if it were only to save ourselves from cancer,Mary mused.
True,said Annie,dully
Mary felt hot so they went into the kitchen and made some tea.Annie was wearing snakeskin pyjamas and black patent shoes.
Do you sleep in those pyjamas,Mary asked?
Oh,no.These are day pyjamas or leisure suits ,Annie smiled.They are comfy.You can get them in the market for £2.
Mary heard a strange noise.Stan ,her late spouse ,appeared in the kitchen carrying a big leather bag,
Hello,he grinned.I’ve just come to say I have bought a detached house in Ealing.
But you are dead,Mary whispered thoughtlessly
Yes,I am a ghost but I have bought the house via Dave.I paid cash.
Why Ealing,Mary asked suspiciously
I like that song,Neasden and it’s quite near on the North Circular.And Ealing is healing!
So that’s where you’ve been while I have been grieving,Mary said.On the North Circular Road enjoying Willie Rushton’s songs as you drive
And besides, I want to re-marry and get a wig.
Well,you can get the wig,Stan told her handing her £4,000 in cash from his pocket.But don’t get married until I am in heaven
When will that be,the ladies asked.
Dunno,he cried.It’s such fun in Purgatory where the ladies are naughty but not actually evil.
And so say all the men.Ah,men
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Lancashire talk: Thi said wi can learn Greek next year
1. “Lewk, it’s orver thur, on’t turble.” (Look, it’s over there, on the table)
2. “It woh crackin’!” (It was great)
3. “That’s a canneh nortion.” (That’s a good idea)
4. “She woh raht bonneh!” (She was really pretty)
5. “I’m gorn to’t shop fo’t bah sum bread
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/fettle
Eeh, it were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur tbey sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
You’re not doin’ Greek
Why not,our Mam
Ye can’t even spek English
Why, am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me
Ye mean only people with BBC eksents can bear childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can you not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, te dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer the cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi dad, is he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another called Billy.
Well, how come I’m human?
You think ye are human, but am telling ye,ye got t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll ‘et nuns say ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christie Horizon
For God’s sake speak English!
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Pete Seeger:Michael row the boat ashore
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A lumberjack? Oh,aye
I love eating ices on the pier
I love eating ices on the pier
If the weather is as hot as Mars
I watch cats and look for any near
If the weather is as hot as Mars
I watch cats and look for any near
I love eating burgers as I leer
Eating cookies; hanging out in bars
I love eating ices on the pier
I am a hazard judged severe
I do somersaults in front of cars
I do somersaults in front of cars
I watch cats and look for any near
Yet I go to church and God revere
I love English lessons where we parse
I love English lessons where we parse
I love eating chips on Southend pier
I hope when I am judged I will appear
Pure as golden nuggets are in Wars
Pure as golden nuggets are in Wars
I watch cats and look for one round here
I wear no sunscreen,I just smoke cigars
The King has had me labelled as bizarre
The King has had me labelled as bizarre
I love eating ices on the pier
I watch cats and men and any seers
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Flu as you could be spun by
We three kings with lorry with car
Well, leopards watched their socks in sight
O little Wall round Bethlehem. please do not tell lies
Wraith of our fathers living will
Love your neighbour and an elf
Woo as you would be won by.
When firey eyes are smiling
A herd is my weapon
I walked in the ally of the ladder of wrath
Please make me taste but not bet
Deat God,I have lost my way.Dear Person try Google Traps
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Boring people… why are we/they like that?
http://uk.businessinsider.com/habits-of-boring-people-2017-7/#boring-people-cant-make-others-laugh-3
Extract:
“Good conversationalists don’t have to say the right thing, they just have to say something the other person can feed off of. Conversations are like a game of catch and if you don’t throw that ball back, game over
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The more I knew, the less I liked
I did not love him though I tried
The more I knew, the less I liked
He only talked about the News
Telling me his fascist views
So he was boring.
He never took me out to eat
Gave me tinned pies of dubious meat
He asked to see me in the nude
I thought that was extremely rude
And he was boring
I cooked him a perfect meal
Bought some mace and spices real
I made him chips and chicken curry
He gulped it down; he choked, why hurry?
He seemed so boring
One day he told me he was off
Then he gave a frightful cough
He fell down, he was quite dead
My cat bit him on the bed
For he was jealous
I wonder why I’m too polite
I’m on the phone from morn till night
I cannot end the boring chat
I must be mental, how is that?
Am I too passive?
So if you phone, me tell me News
Tell me why the kitten miaows
Tell me funny tales and jokes
Give me your cigars to smoke
We must be human
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Ah don’t know Dad.
When ah got ‘ome he said
Put wood in th’ hole
I didn”t got to College to learn to talk like that,I shouted
Whur did ye go to?
Lady Target’s Bowl
So what are you mitherin’ us about now
They don’t say mitherin’ down there
That’s their loss
My,. you sound like Richard Dimbleby
Who he?
Well, let’s say he never went to Lady Target’s
Why not!
It was only for women.
How sexist <Give is a barmcake, our Kath.
Here y’are,Dad.
Ye’ve not buttered it.
Ye never said
Am sayin now
Oh,put the lid on it
Why not put a cork in it?
Close the door on it
See ye can talk proper,after all.
So wood in th’ ole is improper?
You sound like Fowlers Modern English Usage
Who’s he when he’s at home?
He must be proper
Like some verbs?
Ah did learn Latin in Church at Mass
D’ye think God would like that? Ye should be prayin’ Kath
It was prayin’ in Latin
So God likes Latin?
Adveniat Regnum Tuum
Sicut in Coelo et in Terror
I’ll seek it anywhere!
Fiat Voluntas Tuas
Notre pere, qui est Hosiah
That’s not right!
Au ciel de ma maman, je t’adore.
So is it wrong?
Not in fuzzy logic.
I didn’t send you to Uni to learn fuzzy logic
That’s true but we Iearned it by osmosis
Ae ye kiddin’?
Aye,I am.I learned it from Professor Blogge
Ah’ll kill ‘im
That’s a sin
Who’re you,Saint Peter ?
Get thee hence
Gi’ us a nicker
Be careful. The PC police are outside
What, a b$gger
There are two!
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Manchester City United
1. Saying/ word: Barm
Meaning: Bread roll
2. Saying/ word: Put wood in th’ole
Meaning: Shut the door
3. Saying/ word: Corporation pop
Meaning: Water
4. Saying/ word: It’s cracking flags
Meaning: it is so hot outside that stone pavings are breaking
5. Saying/ word: Use yer loaf
Meaning: Think for yourself
6. Saying/ word: I’ve not got out fort do
Meaning: I don’t have anything to do
7. Saying/ word: A’v cum b’out any money
Meaning: I’m afraid I haven’t got any cash on me today
8. Saying/ word: Stop skriking
Meaning: Stop crying
Bury
1. Saying/ word: Ratchet
Meaning: Cool
2. Saying/ word: Mitherin’
Meaning: Annoying/pestering
3. Saying/ word: Wot you sayin’?
Meaning: Hello, do you have anything interesting to say?
4. Saying/ word: Proper reet good
Meaning: That is very good
5. Saying/ word: Give us a nicker
Meaning: Please may I have a pound
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Self-deception shields us from our doubt
Between the wish for changlessness and thrill
We seldom will be satisfied for long
Neither is controlled by human will
As into stormy life, we all are flung
We seldom will be satisfied for long
Neither is controlled by human will
As into stormy life, we all are flung
Self-deception shields us from our doubts
We choose to pre-select what we will see.
Pretend to know what our life’s all about
We choose to pre-select what we will see.
Pretend to know what our life’s all about
As in little boats ,we ride a stormy sea.
Then later we choose danger for its spice
And with daring climb the mountain with no ropes
We resist the offer of advice
Till ,with broken bones, we sadly mope.
And with daring climb the mountain with no ropes
We resist the offer of advice
Till ,with broken bones, we sadly mope.
Reality’s too little or too much
So ,on our path, our hearts will often lurch
So ,on our path, our hearts will often lurch
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In my secret life
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The skin on my arm
I see your writing on this birthday card
I am sad
As I hold out the card , I see the skin on my arm
Looks decorative like sand and shingle as the tide flows back
And surges up again.There are patterns on my skin
I could devote my life to finding the right equation
A wave equation
Or topology? Ribbed rubber like old sheaths
Stitched together by the wind and sun
I might put paint on them and sell my arm at auction
You’d have to buy me as well
And feed me.I am a food avoidant personality
It’s the latest, it’s a new disorder
I live on weetabix and cheese
Chips with salt, no fish
It’s a wonder I have a skin at all
But if I say.no
You have to believe me
