Written on my phone

The Norfolk post

Everything that I have written for the last two years has been written on my phone including another blog which I have on blogger. That is not about poetry or literature

I would not have believed it possible to do this on a phone and it’s just a Motorola cheapy.

I have learned a lot from that but I’m hoping to be able to use a computer again soon. I would have been very surprised it was possible to do it.

And thank you so much to my regular readers whose efforts have kept me going and catch me writing through this time.

So in my house technology has been a wonderful help

The air of London dull and dead

It seemed the fires of Grenfell Tower had spread
A hear oppressive like the fires of hell
London smothered in air dull and dead.

Flames that slobbered with a passion red
Water that the sun burned up too well
It seemed the fire of Grenfell Tower had spread

God permitted Satan with his dread
Britain quarrelled, split , prepared to kill.
London smothered in air dull and dead.

A referendum showed us all ill-bred.
Neighbours spoke in words that I call vile.
It seemed the fire of Grenfell Tower had spread

By what person is our nation led
who fills our stomach with acidic bile?
The PM spoke in words both dull and dead.

Tempers raged like fires all fresh and wild
Evil was to emptiness beguiled
It seemed the fire of Grenfell Tower had spread
People smothered in the fire lie dead

Neon light on snow

The vivid scream of neon lights on snow
Harassed my senses made me feel I’m blind
Vulgar is the street in giant’s glare

Who invented neon and what for
Could this colour not have been disguised;
The orange scream of neon lights on snow?

As for coming winter I prepare
The sunlight slants and gets into my eyes
Vulgar is my street ,oh do not glare

Is this light a key to metaphor
Seeking out the haunts of Putin’s spies?
The orange screams of neon lights hurt more

Reading John le Carre, I defer.
I am naive with both truth and lies
Vulgar is my street ,oh do not glare

The mystery of nature and its blight
When humans add to this with senseless fights
The orange screaming of the lights on snow
Smack my eyes and ears as North winds blow

Raw emotional nightmare.

I wake up naked,

nothing protects me from the nightmare emotions

I’ve been dreaming of a dead man who is awarding prizes for poetry

I might be a winner but I don’t like it.

I thought he was dead I cried

But no they said that isn’t true although it’s now 57 years since he swallowed the aspirins

Where has he been, what has made him a judge a poetry but he never heard any?

Everybody’s looking he doesn’t seem embarrassed by his absence or his presence.

How can you be here like this I asked him but he smiled and did not speak,

He’s been following my blog from purgatory.

I tell him I don’t need you now, and when I did need you you failed me.

I am a different person now every cell in my body is different from what it was when you were alive.

So you’ve been reading poetry have you?

Is there a newspaper or a magazine that people up there could read or is it pure speculation.

I might have got an answer but I woke up.

When I’m dress my clothes seem to make a protective barrier around my heart so that the nightmare is less violence in its effect.

I’ve got my husband’s wool vest to give me aid. I hope he won’t come back as

Professor of mathematics because it was not do anything for me now yes he was envious.

A pitythat you can’t enjoy your own wifes talents.

We shouldn’t need to put others down to make ourselves feel better.

Unfortunately we do

Wings

Diagonal streams now stripe the windowpane
And in them, tiny insects drown and die.
Unexpected ,sudden rain has come.
Those escape who have the wings to fly.

No angels were seen peering at my room
No doubt they have their Sunday wings to press.
No camera ,even with psychotic zoom,
Can catch an angel while she is undressed.

Now the rain has dried and all is sweet
I tend to houseplants standing by the door.
By good luck these houseplants never bleep.
Only in the real world do they flower.

Bleeps and pings are not a natural sound.
But to the artificial we will bound.

Leaves upon a tree

We are little leaves upon the tree
We never did control our tiny worlds
The tree of life; its power, its mystery

With metaphor, it’s easier to see
Life is tender, see each leaf unfurl.
We are tiny leaves upon the tree

Singing in the sun we seem to be
Full of joy until the storm winds swirl
The tree of life; what power, what mystery

Extinguished candles smoke at Tenebrae
We are blown to death however bold
We are hapless leaves upon the tree

Thus we sacrifice to God uncertainly
Yet as the wars continue, we grow cold
The tree of life; what power, what mystery

Who has dropped us from the hands that hold?
Who has stolen certainty untold?
We are little leaves upon the tree
The tree of life; what power, what mystery

Don’t learn joined up handwringing

Disappointed tonight, the sky was dark mauve and grey

Yet on this phone camera it all comes out the same,anyway

Again looking I see it’s gone black

How dare it do that behind my back?

Darling ease up, the universe needs some slack

Poets need words that don’t bring on simultaneous handwringing.

How to write and how not to write poetry

12651322_666000976873117_6377294032820224503_nhttps://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/68657/how-to-and-how-not-to-write-poetry-56d2484397277

Advice for blocked writers and aspiring poets from a Nobel Prize winner’s newspaper column.
BY WISŁAWA SZYMBORSKA
Introduction
In the Polish newspaper Literary Life, Nobel Prize winning poet Wislawa Szymborska answered letters from ordinary people who wanted to write poetry. Clare Cavanagh, translates these selections.

The following are selections from columns originally published in the Polish newspaper Literary Life. In these columns, famed poet Wislawa Szymborska answered letters from ordinary people who wanted to write poetry. Translated by Clare Cavanagh, they appeared in slightly different form in our Journals section earlier this year.

To Heliodor from Przemysl: “You write, ‘I know my poems have many faults, but so what, I’m not going to stop and fix them.’ And why is that, oh Heliodor? Perhaps because you hold poetry so sacred? Or maybe you consider it insignificant? Both ways of treating poetry are mistaken, and what’s worse, they free the novice poet from the necessity of working on his verses. It’s pleasant and rewarding to tell our acquaintances that the bardic spirit seized us on Friday at 2:45 p.m. and began whispering mysterious secrets in our ear with such ardor that we scarcely had time to take them down. But at home, behind closed doors, they assiduously corrected, crossed out, and revised those otherworldly utterances. Spirits are fine and dandy, but even poetry has its prosaic side.”

To H.O. from Poznan, a would-be translator: “The translator is obliged to be faithful not only to the text. He must also reveal the full beauty of the poetry while retaining its form and preserving as completely as possible the epoch’s spirit and style.”

To Grazyna from Starachowice: “Let’s take the wings off and try writing on foot, shall we?”

To Mr. G. Kr. of Warsaw: “You need a new pen. The one you’re using makes a lot of mistakes. It must be foreign.”

To Pegasus [sic] from Niepolomice: “You ask in rhyme if life makes cents [sic]. My dictionary answers in the negative.”

To Mr. K.K. from Bytom: “You treat free verse as a free-for-all. But poetry (whatever we may say) is, was, and will always be a game. And as every child knows, all games have rules. So why do the grown-ups forget?”

To Puszka from Radom: “Even boredom should be described with gusto. How many things are happening on a day when nothing happens?”

To Boleslaw L-k. of Warsaw: “Your existential pains come a trifle too easily. We’ve had enough despair and gloomy depths. ‘Deep thoughts,’ dear Thomas says (Mann, of course, who else), ‘should make us smile.’ Reading your own poem ‘Ocean,’ we found ourselves floundering in a shallow pond. You should think of your life as a remarkable adventure that’s happened to you. That is our only advice at present.”

Richard Zimler

https://alchetron.com/Richard-Zimler#Our-love-for-the-life-we-survive-richard-zimler

Extract

Richard Zimler received the 2009 Alberto Benveniste literary prize in France for his novel Guardian of the Dawn. The prize is given to novels that have to do with Sephardic Jewish culture or history. It was awarded to him at a ceremony at the Sorbonne in January 2009.

Richard Zimler Richard Zimler RichardZimler Twitter

Five of Zimler’s novels – Hunting Midnight (2005), The Search for Sana (2007), The Seventh Gate (2009), The Warsaw Anagrams (2013) and The Night Watchman (2016) – have been nominated for the International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award, the richest prize in the English-Speaking world.

Richard Zimler httpsuploadwikimediaorgwikipediacommons44

Zimler has also edited an anthology of short stories for which all the author’s royalties go to Save the Children, the largest children’s rights organization in the world. The anthology is entitled The Children’s Hours. Participating authors include Margaret Atwood, Nadine Gordimer, André Brink, Markus Zusak, David Almond, Katherine Vaz, Alberto Manguel, Eva Hoffman, Junot Díaz, Uri Orlev and Ali Smith.

The wind blew off your hat

Salthouse St Nicholas church - aerial Norfolk | Salthouse ch… | Flickr

By Salthouse Church the wind blew off your hat
We watched it flying like an unstrung kite
Then snow fell in cold Cromer,see the map!
A cat dosed by the fire in the warm pub
Yet near Salthouse winds blew off your hat
I’d have blown off too, were I less fat
These gales would give the sailing boats a fright
By Salthouse Church the wind blew off your hat
We watched it flying up in cold sunlight




When our love’s died


I wish to live despite my love has died

And I have no-one but a cat to feed and stroke.

In memory my love will long abide

Though as I write I feel my spring has broke.

My grammar and my spelling are perverse

I used to make religion out of these.

But now I feel that life is getting worse.

As if my heart’s been stung by monstrous bees

In such a state my words may get confused

My sentences are senseless as they’re writ

And as for syntax, it is now abused

As round this room the ghosts of lovers flit.

My grammar is not perfect yet it be

Sad I can say just the same of me

B

The pain of tragic pasts feared imminent

You revealed the face within your face
Human,lowly,humbler than an ant
The pathos in your eyes made sad my gaze

The other face, defended, has no grace
With it ,you appear quite confident.
Yet you revealed to me your hidden face

I know now of the suffering of your days
The pain of tragic pasts feared imminent
The pathos in your eyes made sad my gaze

The Lord says you’re his lamb and sends you grace.
Yet you must hide from men intolerant
You revealed the face within your face

Like Jesus, you were scourged and in disgrace
You wandered feebly,lost, itinerant
The pathos in your eyes makes sad my days

If God exists then would he not embrace
The lost, the lonely, even the vagrant?
You revealed the face within your face
The pathos in your eyes makes humans base.

Re-experience your own sorrow and be overwhelmed

The joy of trauma.

Born to die.

Be your suffering self.

Born to sin.

Kill your real self.

Detach your own retina.

Scramble your own Brain

How to go to hell.

How to see Gaza

Born to hate.

Do a degree in suffering and win

Your boundary is also my boundary

Envy is such pain

I so loved your beautiful
coat of many colours
I almost passed out

Other women made such
Spiteful remarks
I knew it would be hidden

You wore a cheap mac from
A large chainstore after that
Depriving my eyes of drowned joy


And then I became afraid
Of women’s tongues
Destroying what they never found

Envy does not want to like
Handmade clothes
Colours of dawn or sunset

Wants others grey and plain
Treads on their bare faces
In disdain

Why we Envy

I envy shy black people because they can blush secretly

And I envy Chinese people because they don’t go yellow when they feel sick

I envy Jewish people because they enjoy arguments.Yes that is too general a statement but don’t let’s argue about it. Unless you are Jesus Christ. Did Jesus

argue? Get the Bibles out.

I envy philosophers because they know what distinguishes an argument from a quarrel

I don’t want to be a Catholic because they believe in hell. Can you still go to hell even if you don’t believe in it

Why does nobody mention limbo anymore?

Why do I have to ask questions when other people know by intuition?

Why were red Indians called red Indians?

Grief’s 7 Stages Don’t Include Envy and Resentment

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/style/the-seven-stages-of-grief.html

Reading the letters we receive, I’m always struck by how much, and how quickly, people convert their pain into self-loathing. My first thought when I read your letter, Heartless, was: Oh my god — you’re in painYour grieving isn’t over. The public ways in which your fiancé’s mom is grieving have reawakened the more private sense of shock and paralysis you felt when your father died. Your instinctive contempt for her displays of sorrow, and how she’s been able to elicit comfort, raises questions about whether you received what you needed 10 years ago, when you were so young and less equipped to ask for support, or even understand how to grieve.

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Emptying yourself tonight?

You are going to do something creative. So how do you get ready? You are hoping for some new ideas some connections.

Well suppose you are going to bake a cake the first thing that you do is what?

You have to clear a space on your work surface or table to put you your baking bowl and you have to make sure the oven is empty

The very first thing you must do is to wash up in case the cake tin all the bowls you need all there being soaked and there’s no room for anything else so you wash up up.and put these things away and now you have a space in which you can set about creating the cake of your dreams

Supposing do you want to paint a picture or write a poem.

Our mind is full of ideas,of people we’ve just seen or a unfulfilled desires thoughts about food clothing who knows jealousy envy love

Well you can’t create when your mind is full like that.

That is what Marion Milner discovered that if she said

I am nothing I have nothing I want nothing

This freed her from the buzzing cloud of flies inside my head. And then thoughts and ideas from the deeper parts of the mind can come into the consciousness.

She calls this the gesture of

Inner Poverty.

By giving up for a time all the things that occupy our thoughts we create some space for new ideas.

I can’t guarantee that they will be any good but there’s a good chance of it if we follow up a little ideas with some hard work.

I think it might be rather like the desireless that is part of Buddhism.

Saying I am nothing is not self derogatory. Nobody is nothing o and if you believe in God you will believe that everybody has a soul equal two other people’s in the eyes and God regardless of your wealth or status. It’s it’s moving away from constant occupation with egocentric concerns which can impede perception.

Because these concerns are a barrier to our vision.

This is just one way of looking at perception and creativity

?

Statistics and Stan

Stan and the standard deviation

Stan was teaching social statistics to a group of elderly neighbours.Since he was 101 it gave much hope to them to see him demonstrating his prowess with various techniques on the overhead projector,.He was planning to do some logic and some philosophy too.Annie was sitting by the door so she could answer the bell if any paramedics turned up for tea or supper…
I’m not going to calculate the standard deviation he murmured.”I just want you to grasp the general purpose.”
“Deviations,they’re not normal are they?” enquired his neighbour Henry,an ex-English teacher.”So how can they be standard.It’s utterly confusing..”
“Are you thinking of deviants?” Stan enquired calmly yet nervously
”Certainly not,at my age I’m long past that!”
” Still it adds a bit of excitement to the class.” he thought silently
How do words in ordinary language relate to those in Statistics?”asked Henry kindly.
“They are just more precisely defined in statistics.To say someone is a deviant is a rather vague term.”
“No,it’s not!My neighbour is a deviant.He always dresses entirely in yellow.”
“Well,that must be hard to do.Certainly unusual.” Stan agreed boldly.
“But in another country that might be the norm.So it’s a matter of context.In statistics it’s more prosaic..There’s a formula.It’s totally independent of context.Have you ever wondered why so many mathematicians have a touch of Asperger’s syndrome?”
“No,it’s not something that meanders through my mind much”replied Henry wittily.
A shudder passed through the audience on hearing the word “formula“,which perhaps they considered something of a deviant word. Anything with letters and numbers mixed together is certainly not welcome in many people’s minds, along with their more unusual sexual tastes, desires and inclinations which were kept secret even from themselves in many cases.So Lacan appeared to think.As I am unable to understand his writing myself,I cannot be sure if he was right or even half right.
“Time for tea,” called Annie,hoping to divert their attention to the everyday realm of food and drink.She carried in a platter of mouse [mice?] sandwiches kindly donated by the local ambulance service and some iced Victoria sponges she and Stan had made the day before in her new naga oven.
“Just a quick word about next week.We’ll take a look at ratios and proportions and maybe see how that relates to the concept of rationality.”
“That sounds fun!” Annie called encouragingly
.Henry decided to act on a deviant desire and fell onto her lap
”Oh,dear!” she gasped loudly as the chair collapsed under her.
”Why can’t you be deviant at home?”
“My wife won’t let me!” He kindly answered.And it’s impossible truly.
“And look,” Stan continued,”we’ll have to ring 999.This chair is in fragments.I thought for one day we’d be able to avoid calling them out!”
“Well,life is not controllable.” said a quiet but fierce looking lady with sharp green eyes.”That’s what makes it tolerable“
She then greedily consumed a large piece of iced sponge cake .
“I can stand the thinking if the cake is good” she whispered to her shy friend Amy.
”That’s rather a feeble argument,”Amy retorted.”You can’t really compare cake and statistics.”
“I’ll compare anything I like!” the green-eyed woman snarled loudly.
“You do what you like but you must keep a sense of proportion!”As we all know….
“Now then,have you rung 999?” Stan queried of Annie.”Yes,here they are,and they’ ve got a stretcher for the chair!”
“Well,that’s certainly unusual,even deviant“,Stan thought anxiously to himself.
”Where do they get their funding? Is there a fund for distributing money to help chairs which are not normal?

High Force

Mother, it is great to be up North
Can we take a trip to see High Force?
I don’t think we can manage that,I said
Why ever not,I need to leave my bed
Well,I can’t drive for I can’t see so well
He looked at me with pity, it was hell
Shall we take a cab, he questioned me
I don’t think they can get there before tea
We can take a flask and your fruit cake
I knew his mother well, and could she bake!
I did not like to say it is too far
Two hundred miles or more from where we were
He asked again about my honeymoon
Did you find it over all too soon?
I felt a blush spread over my fair skin
He was my husband, I spent it with him
But yet I could not take away his joy
He loved his mother much when a small boy.
Judging by the smile on his dear face
Freud was right, he wished to me embrace.
Is it wrong to let a man mistake
His wife for his late mother, that is fake.
But since he was so sick and suffered long
I had to keep him going with her songs
She sung in her church choir the hymns of praise
To overcome that strange weekend malaise
So valiant as ever in my work
I sang O Praise the Lord as in the Kirk
I sang Oh, little town of Bethlehem
Of course there was no wall there way back when
He still read the paper every day
And in the night when sleepless he would pray.
I would have lifted rocks and cut through steel
If I could have made his heart valves heal
Yet still our masquerade was to him real
He held my hand and smiled with great appeal.
Then he said he’d like to go to bed
With his own mother, what could I have said?
I made some tea and he smiled even more
I guess that’s why he lived to 94.

My life was ruled by panic attacks. Here’s my seven-point guide to tackling anxiety

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/may/22/my-life-was-ruled-by-panic-attacks-how-tim-clare-learned-to-cope-with-anxiety?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Writing can have unexpected benefits

Clearly, if writing were therapeutic, authors would be the happiest, calmest people on earth. It turns out that the type of writing matters. Gratitude journals are often pushed by the Positive Psychology movement as one of its most robustly evidenced interventions, but multiple meta-analyses have found their supposed benefits to be weak to non-existent. At best, they may have a small placebo effect on mood.

On the other hand, research into writing about traumatic experiences suggests it can boost subjective wellbeing, health, immune response and even the healing rate of a 3mm punch biopsy wound. Crucially, psychologist James W Pennebaker told me, you have to connect details about the event with your feelings then and now. Ironically, in the process of writing down my experiences for the book, I may have blundered into a powerful, free means of engaging with our challenging memories and emotions.

Talk honestly about how you feel

Red leaves in sun

The red leaves in the sunshine seem to smile
A pale blue sky, a silver aeroplane
I’m happy,I am warm, in your arms coiled

I  have no heater but the kettle  boiled
I made us coffee   then my  parcel  came
My face in the small mirror  had a smile

My love is deep, you never were on trial
If we quarrel, we both share the blame
I’m happy,I am warm, in your arms coiled

Our sorrow is, we have not made a child
Jesus cursed the fig tree in its shame
Yet red leaves in the sunshine seem to smile

Sorrow need not  madden nor make  bold
We do not know the purpose  nor the game
I’m happy,I am warm now as I toil

We need old fashioned virtues like restraint
We don’t see the whole  as life we paint
The red leaves in the sunshine seem to smile
I’m happy,I am warm, the sea sings  wild

Walk in ferny woods. exchange a glance

Rosa-Morning-Mist-2020

Wasting life when we would like to dance
Walk in ferny woods. exchange a glance
Can we have a decent  person at our head?
Jesus Christ,no b*gger understood

Why be happy when you could feel mad?
Glad that Donald Trump is not your dad
Don’t  let  logic, reason or plain thought
Sell you something Mother  never bought

Why not let   the police take all control?
They know  how to score a self made goal 
They can kill a  man and wound a child
Yet kneel down in Church along the aisle

Holding a black Bible in one hand
Will not take you to the Promised Land
Cain and Abel,Jacob and Esau
Does he hopen to start another War?

 

As the old man fell towards his death
They offered us a handrail for the bath
I was so shattered by their wilful lies
I could not speak, my saliva had all dried

He was walking albeit slowly when at home
When they took him off I heard the groan
Lost inside his head, no wife nearby
Even Satan would have wept  that night

Gabriel and Satan, hand- in -hand
Neither one will ever understand
We humans waste so much,we’re almost blind
Full of envy,hate  and  so unkind

 

G