Why do they sell rock at the seaside?
They can’t sell the sea.
Why is the UK not a republic?
It’s private
Why do we believe in God?
It’s like the vanishing point in Art. It doesn’t exist but we can’t do Art without it
Do children need to learn cursive handwriting?
No it’s easier to teach them to curse by imitation.
Are sausages British?
Only if they have no meat inside.
What are the advantages of a fountain pen?
You can spray ink onto your enemies then write love letters. If you have anyone to love.
Why do we eat ice cream at the seaside?
Because there’s nowhere to boil the cream.
Why did people like to go to Blackpool for the day?
Because we only used to get one day’s holiday a year and we had to see the seaside to buy those rude postcards and scream on the big dipper.
Work is not good for you after all does God work?
He doesn’t answer prayers any more.
How my heart speaks 