I think this artwork was done by me on my computer
what brings you here Not literally? [ could be autistic] No, you are always here in a sense. Well, you know English is not my first language [ excuses] No, you were here before language.How hard to imagine. I have come here because of my guilt [ trying to be human ] I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury, said cunning old fury
Very adroit [Shows off his skills] What’s that? The opposite of maladroit Why did you send the Flood over the earth\~ I pressed the wrong button. [Teases me] That is absurd. There were no buttons then Not even on coats? [Pretends to be ignorant] Well you should know I don’t like little details in my creatiity [ Thinks he is superior] Come on, tell me whatever comes to mind I like playing with water and fire as well [ Melanie Klein come here] You tell me It’s such fun [ emotionally stunted] Like War? It was not so bad to start with { always an excuse…. lacking in adult responsibility] What, even Cain and Abel? Very sad but it’s just a story [ Derrida,Levinas, Enid Blyton] Don’t tell me you are a post modernist I can be what I want , for fun you know [ repeats himself] I didn’t know God has fun Well you do now [ Humour]
Right that is £120
What, you think I should pay? [ feels superior] I have to live,Lord.I have a family [ childish plea] So did I once [Sarcasm and grief] Well, any alternative? I’ll give you an indulgence/ How about Martin Luther? Should he have one? Why not, he’s just human like you. But Hitler? I retain the right to silence [ knows the law]
Well when you stop sulking make another appointment Can no-one help me? Don’t give up hope. Goodbye for now.
CBT embodies a specific view of painful emotions: that they’re primarily something to be eliminated, or made tolerable
Psychoanalysts contend that things are much more complicated. For one thing, psychological pain needs first not to be eliminated but understood. From this perspective, depression is less like a tumour and more like a stabbing pain in your abdomen: it’s telling you something, and you need to find out what. (No responsible GP would just pump you with painkillers and send you home.) And happiness – if such a thing is even achievable – is a much murkier matter. We don’t really know our own minds, and we often have powerful motives for keeping things that way. We see life through the lens of our earliest relationships, though we usually don’t realise it; we want contradictory things; and change is slow and hard. Our conscious minds are tiny iceberg-tips on the dark ocean of the unconscious – and you can’t truly explore that ocean by means of CBT’s simple, standardised, science-tested steps.
Letters: Feelings of powerlessness as a constant – as is often the case in one-to-one relationships – are the root of much mental distress
Read more
This viewpoint has much romantic appeal. But the analysts’ arguments fell on deaf ears so long as experiment after experiment seemed to confirm the superiority of CBT – which helps explain the shocked response to a study, published last May, that seemed to show CBT getting less and less effective, as a treatment for depression, over time.
Examining scores of earlier experimental trials, two researchers from Norway concluded that its effect size – a technical measure of its usefulness – had fallen by half since 1977. (In the unlikely event that this trend were to persist, it could be entirely useless in a few decades.) Had CBT somehow benefited from a kind of placebo effect all along, effective only so long as people believed it was a miracle cure?
Psychoanalysts contend that for one thing, psychological pain needs first not to be eliminated, but understood
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Mary was on a step ladder in the bathroom spying on her husband Stan,through a hole in the wall…which he had drilled for spying on women sunbathing nude in their back gardens. Although I would have been there for 30 years he had not yet seen a nude woman. To her surprise she saw husband was climbing over the fence with Emile, their cat on his shoulder.
I think it’s ridiculous, she muttered . Surely Emile, a cat, can jump over the fence by himself.
But Emile was very limp,she saw with horror He can’t be dead, she whispered to herself fearfully.She jumped down off the and hit her head on a tap… a dangerous event for a human with weak retinae or retinas Oh,my! That hurt…I’d better be careful.She flew down stairs and met Stan in to the kitchen Emile has got concussion, Stan said unhappily Is he not dead,she wondered anxiously. No, he only fell off Annie’s roof.I am sure he’ll come to. Good Lord.What made him go up there and more important,how did he manage it manage to climb up? You’d better ring 999,he informed her graciously yet boldly
If you say so ,my dear.I’d do anything you ask.. Don’t put on that act! he said wantonly I mean it. A bit too late now. What do you mean? After 40 years with your mind on Wittgenstein,Dirac,Pascal and Kierkegaard,do you think I don’t know you made a mistake marrying me But whoever I married,I’d have read those same writers… Umphh,said Stan dolefully. Just then Dave,the bisexual transvestite paramedic ran in. Poor Emile,what have you done? He fell off Annie’s roof, but we have no theory as to how he got there,said Stan. Well, there’s no need to think of that… deal with reality.That’s my modus operandi! He gave Emile the kiss of life.
Emile came to…but was not pleased Why did you waken me up?I was having a lovely dream of walking down a silver path where I saw a big cat with shining fur and tender eyes looking at me.He just began to miaow when some fecking idiot woke me up… was he God? I can’t say,Emile,dear.But please do not swear. I’ll do whatever I fecking well feel like,he said. Good heavens, what has happened.Has he been reading dirty books? No, he was watching East Enders on TV… they all use the f word constantly. Well,Emile.God will have to wait… he’ll be glad if you do some kind work here on earth. Up yours,said Emile.I am sick of living here.I’ve been hoping for years Stan would mate with Annie but he has only managed a kiss. Perhaps it was the kiss of life,said Mary hopefully as it pained her to think Stan no longer desired her. Well, in a sense,you might have hit the snail on the bed said Stan thoughtfully.I know any further mention of philosophy will drive me mad! Now,Dave said,shall I make you some tea? Thank you Stan responded.I am half crazed already.Tea may save my sanity.But for what? Annie came in Did you know Emile was in a hot air balloon,she said in tones of wonder.How has he got down so fast? I fecking well fell out,the cat yawned proudly.Then I had a near death experience until this loon here brought me round. Emile,I’ve never heard you swear before! she whispered in a strange manner reminiscent of almost silent films starring unnames and forgotten beauties of long ago. Do you like it,baby? Emile asked. No I don’t. I’ve never said Feck in all my life. Well you have now,the cat informed her with a naughty smile. I think he’s possessed by demons.We’ll have to have him exorcised. But I like demons,Emile bawled .I’ve been good all my life and I am bored and depressed. So you believe swearing will help more than therapy? Emile got up and lit a cigarette nonchalantly with a certain ,je ne sais pas. Good grief,he’ll be having sex on the sofa next said Stan. What a good idea,said Emile, but I want my own room and an en suite..I mean to impress the next girl friend I have. Dave drank some tea and watched these old folk ponder. I am wondering where we went wrong,said Mary.All these years we’ve educate you privately and even had you baptised. Well.I am going to be a Jew,said Emile. I don’t think a cat can be a Jew… and you never ever had any interest in the spiritual before,why this? Well,when I was unconscious I realised that God exists…. But why a Jew? Well,they were the first to see God in a Burning Bush.. And the last too, thought Annie nervously. Well,said Stan.You want to smoke,swear ,make love and possibly enjoy wine and song.Is that not enough? Does God smoke and swear? There was a long silence and Emile answered Well,you see,Yes he does. I’m off said Dave.I have to ring the Pope. Why? asked Emile.I’m not going be a Catholic…. Well,said Dave,he ought to know that God is a cat.
When Mary opened the door she found a large marmalade Maine coon cat asleep on her porch I’m surprised that the scent of Emile has not deterred this marmalade cat from taking up residence on the porch in the early morning sunshinezl she melurmured to herself
The cat opened his yellow eyes and glared angrily at Mary.
Alright then be so horrible if you want to be she cried out almost silently in an angry whisper
My goodness I must be getting cognitive decline to speak to a cat like that she thought to herself. I had better not tell Annie or she will be worried that I might say something like that to a human being
She left the door open and went into the kitchen to make some tea and then she noticed that the cat was walking through the front door into the hall walking on her new blue shaggy wool carpet. She could not ask him to take his shoes off as cats don’t normally wear shoes. Would a cat wear slippers if requested? Perhaps she could start a shop selling slippers for cats but then when we have to think about the claws. The problems that women have to deal with now or so enormous it’s a wonder we manage to do anything at all
Hello, she said, what do you want?
That’s not very friendly, said the cat. My name is Francisco and I live next door to you. I’ve only been there for a week and I don’t like it but I thought that you’ve got a very nice cat and so I wondered if I could come and spend some time here?
Of course you can send Mary. Would you like some tea on a saucer?
Yes replied the orange cat, and by the way my name is Marco. Changed your name already?
Marco began to drink the tea when suddenly Emile came in from the back garden through his cat flap
Is this orange cat a visitor mother he called out to Mary.
How many times do I have to tell you that I am not your mother Mary told him sincerely with a toxic severity.
It depends on whether you’re taking it literally or metaphorically Emile called out affectionately
Well well said Marco I like you Emile you sound very intelligent.
I am living next door but the people are dull and boring.
We don’t know them said Mary because they’ve been living there for a few months but they’ve not been round and when we went to welcome them they didn’t answer the door
Perhaps they’ve got social phobia Marco said.It’s not unusual now; men and women can earn a living online without leaving the house at all and they can have their groceries delivered and so on so it’s easier for them to live with their neurosis than it would have been 40 years ago
You can only cure your phobia when your desire to go somewhere or your need to earn money it’s so powerful that you are impelled to leave the house and travel while taking your fear with you in a small bag or even a very large bag depending on how afraid you are.
For example one of my friends wanted to go to Compendium bookshop in Camden town.
She was so keen to go there that she traveled for more than one hour on a bus to do it and she was rewarded by finding the novels of Carol Shields before they were published in this country. Because that bookshop imported them from North America.
After she made the journey 10 times she began to feel less frightened and eventually she lost her fear altogether. Probably somewhere in Camden town!
That’s very interesting the two cats said in unison
Then they both ran out into the garden while mewing and purring simultaneously
Mary sat down on her kitchen chair and thoughts about what Stan her late husband would have said about the advent of another cat. So she didn’t need to feed the marmalade coloured arrival. He would get fed in his own home and he would just come to her when he wanted some tea or possibly coffee although I’ve never seen a cat drinking coffee yet she thought to herself
Suddenly the doorbell rang and in ran Dave the paramedic. Mary had not seen him for a long time.
He was wearing a beautiful green dress covered in impressions of shapes of leaves and flowers
Is that you your new uniform Mary asked him punctiliously?
No I’m not working today so I thought I would call in because I’m not seeing you for a long time. Does this mean that you’re no longer need the emergency services?
Well you might just have thought so but no I’ve got an extra cat coming in here it’s possible that he might need the emergency services because he’s living next door with two withdrawn isolated technophiles and he is very unhappy.
Well who do you want to help the cat or the people Dave asked her thoughtfully?
I think at the moment we’ll just stick to the cat.
Here you are Dave have a cup of tea it’s nice to see you again after so long and I’m sure I’ll soon be needing to ring 999 I can feel my bladder contracting already at the prospect of another attack of cystitis.
Please don’t get that just to keep me in employment Dave shouted nervously.
I would prefer it if you were well and if I just came in to you socialy to show you my new clothing and to see whether you would like a dress like this?
Oh well that’s very nice of you Mary told him surreptitiously and wildly
I wish that Stan were here. He was always delighted to see you and he was very glad that you were there with him at the end
Yes it was a privilege said Dave. I always remember the last thing he said
Th is my goodbye and thank you after almost two years of writing my Times poetry column. I have loved reading the piles of poetry books – thank you to all the publishers who sent them; I have also loved reading your e-mails and letters. You demonstrated how a poem in the column could go off and have another life; comments, discussions and readers’ poems abounded. And I have loved writing about the poems, trying to relate them to our hopes and anxieties as human beings in my belief that there is a poem for everyone – even a trucker on the M1 who reads nothing more challenging than his sat-nav. Because to say “I don’t like poetry” is like saying “I don’t like music”. It’s a case
If it form the one landscape that we, the inconstant ones, Are consistently homesick for, this is chiefly Because it dissolves in water. Mark these rounded slopes With their surface fragrance of thyme and, beneath, A secret system of caves and conduits; hear the springs…..
Read more using the link above
Poets need to know a lot about the world from limestone to The Great wall of China and from a baby in a pram to kings and dictators
From a priest to a Pope….
How can you see the world afresh if you have never seen it in the first place?
Dear Ron I’m writing to you now as I had no time at Xmas with Mary wanting shopping and Emile having measles again. I I’m glad we don’t live in the USA because they might say that cats can’t catch measles.
Since Christmas life has calmed down a little.We had a party last week which went well,I believe though,don’t tell anyone,I had my mistress here doing the drinks!
I know I’m 98 but I still love women. Mary has been a good wife but she’s not glamorous enough for me.She wears a twinset and flowered skirt from Artigiano but she will have a pen clipped to the front neck, her mobile in her 46H bra and a pair of pliers hanging from her belt and as well as that her nails are rough. What puzzles me is, and again,keep this secret, when we married she was as flat as a pancake yet she’s now got a front like the prow of a ship. I guess the ample cleavage is appealing to some men but I prefer skinny women…She blames me as she never ate until we married and she got the Jewish Cookery Book…
God knows why as she was a Catholic then [but they have no cookbook].This book haseverything,cheesecakes,sponge cakes,puddings,meat loaves and we have eaten all of it. I wonder why I am still thin and she is so fat when she rides a bike to work and I drive the car….scientists don’t seem to know. Still,I have my mistress who is quite slender and Mary seems to be elsewhere mentally…She reads Philosophy in bed.Is it my fault?I am so old I can’t change… but can she?I don’t mind her doing maths but I wish she wore a pearl satin nightie with lace all over it and some perfume… she smells of bike oil and Algipan heat rub.No wonder we never have any sex life now .
Do you think maybe I should wear a nightie like that and see how she reacts?Have you ever done anything like that?We could have a chat on the phone.
It’s not so much the sex,it’s the cuddling I like and whispering in her ears.Too late as she probably is reading a manual for her camera and checking the screwdrivers and the files. She has even stolen my camera…nary a word. Still,there we go…life is hard.
Emile had a very bad bout of measles and I kept him in for 3 weeks resting in a box.I wonder if he will catch chickenpox,I find him a worry though he is funny too and can swim!He is very rare. I fear owing to the cat etc I have no real news.But I’d love to hear yours and remember,don’t tell anybody what I have confided in you.I hope we can meet in the Spring time Till then,keep well. Adios amigo Your friend Stan ps I must tell you about Satan next time,you won’t believe it
The reply
Dear Stan I am answering your letter immediately as I am very irate about your behaviour. Muriel ran away with an artist but it was all above board; we had none of this deception.Can’t you speak to Mary?She seems quite charming to me.And your fantasies of wearing silk nightdresses seem odd in a man of your age…By all means try it if it will help your marriage.Will Mary wear her tigerprint house dress?I loved it.In fact I’ve been in love with Mary for many years but backed off on moral grounds but if you are consorting with Satan and this female neighbour,I feel I ought to help poor Mary…if you divorce her.. let me know! Why does she carry pliers in her belt?Is she afraid of being attacked?As for her size,she does have a severe thryroid problem and that can play havoc with the weight. Most men would be delighted to be engulfed in her delightful bosom and to kiss her plump yet elegant neck and to embrace her with love and passion.
Apart from Xmas,the old dog Gip died and Sally has had twins so Muriel is up from St Ives.I miss her but no longer so painfully and we want to be there for Sally and Ben.He’s only two and Malcolm travels so Ben will be quite hard hit by the twins coming. So I see myself being a helping grandad doing manly things with him.I’ll soon have him changing fuses and backing up his laptop.I may even show him how to make plum wine in the autumn.Sally is breastfeading Jill and Milly so she’ll get tired out. Has your Lyra never got married?That would occupy you.Emile is sweet but he is in fact just a cat. Can you not go to the pub like other men?Play darts or gamble,smoke cigars and discuss politics… Leave that neighbour alone or I shall swoop down to protect Mary like a giant owl on LSD.I’ll kill you.
We had a roast goose for Xmas.It’s now recovered as it was only half cooked and I’ve dug a pond for it.I am mating it in the spring,I hope.. where do I buy a female goose?I am fond of goslings Now,just heed my words or I shall be very irate
The heart that touched my heart I feel no more Alone in some great space. I feel afraid Like a conductor who has lost the Score The soul that touched my soul I feel no more As other orders that soul did obey The heart that touched my heart I feel no more Alone in the abyss. I feel afraid
Love is not one single thing, in distinguishing attachment from concern. I see that there is room for loving-kindness, wanting the best for someone, without being attached to them, unable to let go. There is a way to accept mortality in which there
I thought I would try writing a poem which rhymes the same throughout. Well it is possible but I don’t think it’s successful I think you need at least two different rhymes to make the poem work so I shant do it again especially as there are a lot of words which have that many rhymes unless you’re very very skillful thinking of esoteric words and I dont that’s what poetry is about
Cleaner required for short sighted woman and cat.Well prayed daily Aroused by any other meme, brains weep Do they MOT easily? Abandon lips.Suck toes How about eggs? About menace,I don’t feel it. But do you see it. Above, what Lord? God Anti-wrench mends sprained wheels easily How about ankles? […]
Why does hair gel?
Why do strawberries jam?
Must eggs lie on toast?
She fried her own eggs daily.
She even made her own bread
We had grapefruits bigger than the grapes.
Why do sheets change?
Do pillows have good cases in law?
Why get married when you can go to prison?
Why have a man when you could love a cat freely
Why marry a wo/man when you can go fishing?
Just relax and act naturally
My therapist is dead but I’ve never mentioned it.
She may rise from the dead but I don’t think yeast is sufficient to cause that.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
• She is numb from her toes down
This man wanted his own bed so I told him he could have it for £100 cash.
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
• She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
• I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
• The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
• The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex, which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his aeroplane ran out of gas and crashed.
When she came into the clinic she said,
I want to see Jesus
Unfortunately he is not a doctor.
But then God created the world and he’s not a doctor!
Marry now,pray later.
Buy two coffees,get two pees
Work hard,pray hard and love softly.
He conquered but never felt at home.He had blundered into the outside lav
Buy today,cry tomorrow.
Why not rent a husband by the month? August,December and January… and maybe April
No use locking the door if the window is open.
Miaow now,purr later.
A cat at play keeps the doctor away.
Cats are good for the sole.
I cleaned up Renee with a fine tooth comb… nits,what a pain they can be.
If you are lonely, do listen to others.
If you have no others ,listen to the radio and /or God. and any holy people around
It’s better to meditate only if you are well grounded in reality.Do good works instead and be merciful to old fools
Fantasy wastes the time that we don’t have.
Daydreams are better when you are asleep.
Acting selfishly is unhealthily practically.
Far gone are my grammer and my spilling.
I never was no good at English except at speaking it.
He said,you are not a native of London.I said, no they were nearly all killed by the Romans 2,000 years but we don’t like to complain now.They all died en passant as the Germans might say.Fechen gee hoitch?
I dyed my hair white as I wanted a Freedom Pass.But who else is free?
the answers she gave to a New Zealand journalist recently about the effects of loneliness and the “beautiful benefits” of solitude. And here’s her blog about how desperately important connection and communication can be in a time of pandemic.
“I know how distracting it can be if you are having an interesting conversation and have to eat and order as well,” she says. “Although I won’t be eating much. But you must order something that you would really like, perhaps duck or prawns; that would make me feel a lot better.” I tell her that I am happy with her vegetarian choices of golden tofu (which she says “sounds lovely”), crispy dumplings and pad Thai.
Infuzions Thai in Cammeray is our venue because of its proximity to a studio where the Balmain-based Dowrick has been recording the audio book for Intimacy and Solitude.As it happens, recording has been completed, so there is plenty of time to move around the largely empty restaurant in search of the best spot for recording and photography.
Stephanie DowrickCREDIT:EDWINA PICKLES
Dowrick’s vibrantly patterned dress, in what interior designers would call “jewel” colours, blends well with the richly coloured Thai cushions and warm woods. “Lead, Kindly Light,” she jokes, quoting a famous hymn, as we search for the most flattering spot. In addition to being a versatile author of almost 20 fiction and non-fiction books, and a psychotherapist, Dowrick is an interfaith minister who was based at Pitt Street Uniting Church from 2006 to 2017. More recently she has been co-leading “sacred gatherings” at the InnerSpace Centre in Five Dock.
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It quickly becomes clear that the meal is secondary to Dowrick, who I have met several times over the years through her publishing work and journalism. She wrote a popular Inner Life column for Good Weekend between 2001 and 2010, and was a regular guest of both Geraldine Doogue and Tony Delroy on ABC radio. These days she contributes opinion pieces to newspapers, primarily on social justice, human rights and ethical issues. And as she is my friend on Facebook, I am also aware of the joy she reaps as a mother and grandparent – and of her “later life” marriage in 2017 to Darwin-based paediatrician and health activist Paul Bauert. (“Because he lives 4000 kilometres from my home, I can continue to evolve my understanding of intimacy as well as solitude!”)
Today, and perhaps always, conversation and ideas interest her. Dowrick is a woman of intense blue eyes, a direct gaze and gently probing questions; she invites confidence and confidences, and indeed becomes the interviewer as much as the subject. It is fortunate that she arrived with her background dossier.
Stephanie Dowrick.CREDIT:EDWINA PICKLES
First published in 1991, Intimacy and Solitude was an international bestseller and has been revised and expanded several times since then. The latest edition was sparked by a recognition that the unpredictable events of 2020 had made the book’s message more relevant than ever. It is an encouragement for readers, a message of hope that blends readable case studies with deeply considered but accessible wisdom. Dowrick is convinced that we all have the potential to respond to both familiar and new situations freshly and creatively, especially if we renew our closeness to ourselves and to other people.
Comedian and author Magda Szubanski, musician Clare Bowditch and politician Kristina Keneally are among her raft of fans.
“If the pandemic taught us anything at all, it is that we are utterly and inevitably connected – and not only with this earth on which we wholly depend in all its brilliance, beauty, fearsomenesss and biodiversity,” Dowrick writes in her new 7000-word introductory essay. “COVID-19 showed us plainly that we protect ourselves best by willingly and generously protecting one another – even when separate or ‘distanced’.
“As powerful as those two potent words are individually – intimacy and solitude – they together describe and evoke a steadiness of inner support and resourcefulness that brings more than resilience and inevitably extends beyond ourselves to other people.”
‘My instinct has been unwavering: that not just I, but most of us, want to do at least somewhat better in our connections with others.’
Dowrick says that in addition to interviewing many people for the book, and “surveying screeds of psychological wisdom for the finest ideas”, she reviewed her own rich catalogue of “missteps” as well as what had made life “most worth living”. “My instinct has been unwavering: that not just I, but most of us, want to do at least somewhat better in our connections with others.
“A relatively healthy sense of self lets you accept what others can give you, even when it isn’t quite what you yearned for … It’s also dependent on trusting that your life matters – whether or not it is lauded by others. And that you deserve to care for yourself as respectfully and supportively as you would a trusted and cared-for friend.”
Golden tofu on crispy wonton with crushed peanuts.CREDIT:EDWINA PICKLES
Dowrick was born in New Zealand and spent some of her formative years in isolated Maori and Pacific Island communities, where her parents were teaching. Her mother, Mary, died in her late 30s, when Dowrick was eight. It was, of course, a truly terrible experience and not one that she wishes to dwell on overly in an interview.
However, in her book she writes of the loss, which has affected the rest of her life: “Unsurprisingly, I was incapable of much self-care, never mind what ‘independence’ adds up to. I had gained immeasurably from the years of unstinting love my mother could give me when she lived. She was also, in her moral and emotional intelligence, in her creativity and pride in her profession as a gifted teacher and her commitment to service to others, an exceptional example to me.”
In the late 1960s, a lack of career opportunities in New Zealand for a clever and determined young woman led Dowrick to head for London where, with delight, she fell into book publishing (where senior women were still a rarity and her colleagues, mostly men from public schools, addressed each other by their surnames).
Crispy dumplings with leek, mushroom and ginger.CREDIT:EDWINA PICKLES
Her star rose. At the height of “second wave” feminism, in 1977, she convinced British publishing entrepreneur Naim Attallah to back a groundbreaking feminist imprint, The Women’s Press, and became its first managing director. Writers Janet Frame, Andrea Dworkin, Michele Roberts and Lisa Alther were among those who joined the list and, in 1983, with the Commonwealth publication of Alice Walker’s Pulitzer Prize-winning The Color Purple, commercial success was added to its cult status.
Stephanie Dowrick in 1985 after the publication of her first novel ‘Running Backwards Over Sand’.
Shortly afterwards, Dowrick moved to Sydney and had two children, Kezia and Gabriel, in quick succession; her first novel, Running Backwards over Sand, which tells of a journey of self-exploration by a young woman who has lost her mother, was published in 1985. Subsequently, she worked part-time as a publisher at Allen & Unwin and broadened her writing to focus on self-development and further explored spirituality, most particularly through the work of German poet Rainer Maria Rilke (on whom she wrote a PhD thesis that evolved into a book, In the Company of Rilke).
On learning to live with isolation, the author, an “impatient patient” who fell ill for four months and was in hospital for 10 weeks before the pandemic hit, says that while the lockdown was a crisis of communication for social beings it could also offer “an opportunity to consider with fresh interest how we can more thoughtfully support others – receiving with grace and gratitude what they may have to give”.
Pad Thai with tofu.CREDIT:EDWINA PICKLES
While many have been feeling “flat”, she says it is important to be more consciously open to receiving, even when what’s coming your way doesn’t quite fit your expectations of how things should be. Like any change, some detachment is needed to see things anew, as is stillness, which is best achieved by not being constantly busy. (“Being busy is for me a psychological defence.”)
“In illness, our world shrinks. In social isolation, our world shrinks. Yet it’s precisely now that our vision must enlarge. Choosing to be the smallest bit more generous, perhaps more tolerant in both directions (giving and receiving), is itself an act of empowerment, an act of self-respect and even love – for ourselves and for all with whom we share this planet.
The bill please.CREDIT:SYDNEY MORNING HERALD
“When we’re down, our thoughts leap into a future that’s frightening. When we slow down, by contrast, we can experience this moment and – when we can – infuse it with greater vitality and hope. We can surround people and situations with the energies of loving-kindness and care, rather than anxiety or raw terror. And when we do this, we ourselves will benefit.”
The afternoon is slipping away, but Dowrick proposes we move on to coffee and pavlova. She wants to ask me some more questions.
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Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick is out now from Allen & Unwin.Save
Shona Martyn is Spectrum Editor at The Sydney Morning Herald. She was previously the Publishing Director of HarperCollins, the founding editor of HQ magazine and an editor of Good Weekend.Connect via email.
Levinas’s philosophy is clearly governed by a deep-seated pacifism. In fact, it is one of Levinas’s central contentions that Western philosophy is wedded to a counter-ethical process of conflict. It is this radical idea that underpins Levinas’s first magnum opus, Totality and Infinity (1961).
This treatise opens with a discussion of war – an all-encompassing, as well as literal term for conflict. Levinas states that it is the Western preoccupation with the truth that generates this conflict. In short, if one is able to apprehend the truth, one is essentially self-sufficient or “total”.
For Levinas, this reassuring sense of totality is disastrous for it harbours an underlying antagonism towards others who are liable to challenge one’s authority.
Levinas traces this conception of totality back to the teachings of Socrates and Plato. According to classical authority, the self is literally self-contained – it is able to contain the truth. For Levinas, this spirit of autonomy was perpetuated in the work of philosophers as diverse as Plotinus, Bishop Berkeley and Hegel. In addition, Levinas also detected a return to this spirit of self-sufficiency in the phenomenological work of his former tutors, Husserl and Heidegger.
In an attempt to evade this tide of thought, Levinas turned his attention to the constitution of subjectivity. For Levinas, far from being self-sufficient or total, the self can only exist through reference to the non-self. In short, self-knowledge presupposes the existence of a power infinitely greater than oneself. Echoing the famous Cartesian cosmological argument, Levinas thus suggests that the subject is indebted to the idea of infinity. In direct opposition to contemporary continental thought, Levinas thus reinstates the subject – a subject that encounters itself through the mediation of an-Other. According to Levinas’s intricate argument, such an encounter precedes the disastrous desire for truth.
Crucially, Levinas argues that the encounter between the self and the Other is always passive. In slightly different terms, one welcomes the Other as the measure of one’s own being. It would seem to follow that one’s subjectivity depends upon a non-aggressive or non-violent interface. Given its passive nature, Levinas concludes that this interface is a proto-ethical moment that precedes all other ethical discourse. In this way Levinas undercuts traditional ethical debate.
Today, Levinas’s ethical thought is frequently discussed in relation to diverse academic fields beyond the traditional boundaries of philosophy. Disparate fields such as sociology, literary theory, historiography and anthropology have all benefited from the priority Levinas accorded to “the Other”. This ubiquity stands as testimony to both Levinas’s profundity and growing contemporary relevance.
At the time of writing, Lawrence R Harvey was teaching and completing his doctoral thesis on Levinas and the ethics of representation.
He wanted some companion during the night but nobody was able to be with him.
I’m sure that some of us have had a similar experience.
So would a helper have said to Jesus
Why don’t you listen to some music
I know the radio has not been invented yet but you are God…. So make yourself a radio and listen to music
Why don’t you turn your mind away from fear of death
I’m thinking about signing up for an art class,myself.
I know that Jews can’t worship images but there’s no harm in making some images was paint or pastels.
It might lift your mood..
Now Jesus, have you drunk enough water today? Have you had a proper meal?
(Well they had the last supper I believe.)
Don’t you think we should all go home and go to bed and have a good rest and forget about this event that’s going to happen?
Now Jesus what you need is a good holiday.
You know it’s not so far to Cyprus and it would be a break from living in this occupied territory.
The Romans have a lot to answer for.
And would Jesus have lost his temper and called out to the disciples
Satan get thee hence.
Then somebody will just say, if you feel bad at three o’clock in the morning it’s often a sign of depression and I believe there are some new antidepressants on the market now.
Why don’t you see the doctor tomorrow and ask him can you have a free sample because there is no NHS in the holy land.
And that’s why Jesus stayed in the Garden of Gethsemane by himself because he did not like what his followers were saying to him.
And it was all because they didn’t want to actually know how he was feeling: that he was sweating blood that he was afraid that he was terrified but he was going to continue on the path that he believed God had set him on.
And after all he was the son of God. So he believed and there is some evidence to favour that view.
Doctor,doctor,I;m worried about my coughin’. What about your coffin? Well,it’s keeping me awake at night. Why,are you sleeping in it I have only one place to sleep. If you are tired you can sleep anywhere! is that legal? Of course, it is. Well, can I sleep in the Queen’s bed? In theory,yes… but you might frighten the horses. Why, do they sleep with her?She must have a big bed. Don’t be so ridiculous… Well, she has loads of money; she, could have a bed made for her. She has a bed maid for her Do you mean someone makes her bed every day? well,don’t you make yours every day? No,I bought one in a bed store and it’s well built. But do you change the sheets daily? No,i never use paper I write letters on my chromebook. Which letters? Any letters at all,except French ones. but they use our alphabet. it’s not ours. Whose is it? Possibly the Romans.Tantrum ergo! They are all long gone into their coffins.Uno,duo tres,quattore…,decem,duodecem,duagessin’.. I knew coughin’ was very dangerous I think your grammar is bed. What a posh excent you have It’s all I have left of the old palace. Well, never mind you can share my coffin if you like. But is there a bed in it? Just a bed bug as yet… I blame the CIA.. who do you blame? I blame God and he blames us so it’s pretty much a stalemate. We need the Messiah….. Not again,we’ve not got over the last one yet… You make him sound like a hurdle… Well,it’s one way of looking at it all.. a big hurdle. It’s all this talkin’ keeps me awake at night… At least it stops you coughin’
Doctor,doctor,the coughin’s keeping me up all night again For goodness sake put the lid on it.
How my heart speaks 