There was an old lady from Nairn
Who loved to lie down amidst
ferns
Until she lay on a thistle
Her words made dogs whistle
This is quite common we learn.
Lady from Nairn
Category: Thinkings and poems
A book of my poetry
The tree
Saxons
I lost my nationality by speaking Anglo Saxon
They are sending me back to Germany
I can just imagine sending the Germans to live behind a Wall again.
But did God promise Saxony to my ancestors for ever?
If so, they kept no written account They could not write
But even children write in the UK
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Snow
I have lost my passport on the road
Jesus took it off me for the code
I’m a spy but I am pure as snow
Don’t tell Boris.he is keeping low.
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Gorgeous Gorgon
Barbed wire hair and stunning metal eyes
Don’t stare at me lest something in you die.
Made to last,oh Venom be you mine.
I’ll poison snakes and make them more unkind.
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Nation?
Who is native to olde England ?
The Celts were pushed far westward or were banned.
The ancient Britons vanished,so we understand
No doubt killed by sword or kill ed by hand
So who was left alive to procreate?
The fearsome Vikings standing by the gate?
The Spanish sailors wrecked and full of hate.
The Normans came with a weak claim to state
And many refugees who tempted fate.
So do not show your cruel face or your rage.
Who are we to put men in a cage ?
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A comma makes you British 2
I can’t pass the written English exam for immigrants because I rarely use punctuation marks.They annoy me
But it you were born here it is alright.Is that fair?
There’s many a comma twixt failure and success
If you don’t know, you will just have to guess
You may get it right, you may get it wrong.
Put that new comma right where it belongs
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The poor doctor
Holly
The Holly tree is home to many birds
The prickly leaves uts enemies. deter
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Did you lose it?
I lost my oyster card then they said noone with my name was British.
What is your name ?
Siobhan Free Ireland Now
Well it seems you must be Irish
How did you guess!
I am clever
That’s an odd name.
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How did you lose it?
I lost my nationality fot saying
Roman Catholic is not an Ethnic gtoup
I lost mine as I have no passport nor driving license.
But licentiousness is condemned in the Bible.And foreign travel caused the pandemic.
You can’t win unless you are the wife of Boris Johnson.
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When love is nothing but a word
When love is nothing but a word,
When our deep feelings can’t be shared.
When joy and woe unwoven lie
When we can’t speak, except to sigh…..
When we are lost behind the glass,
When burdened feelings never pass,
When noone is a trusted friend
When we are scared but cannot bend.
When love embodied goes away
When we are numbed but cannot say.
When we are rigid with the strain.
When life has little but such pain
We suffer as our will has gone
And we’ve no task to lure us on.
We need to know we’re not alone
That love can penetrate a stone.
That like the Christ we rise to life
When we endure with will its strife.
When we accept that all is lost,
But wish to live despite the cost.
Then we are saved as are the flowers
Which decorate the fields and bowers
Though all shall crumble into dust,
While we’re alive we’ll slake our lust.
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Killed by frying pan
She sat down for so long her circulation stopped
Diagnosis: Died of ignorance
Her hair was so thin she was ashamed to go out
Died of social anxiety, late onset
She was very plain but didn’t know until she saw herself in the mirror
Diagnosis :Shock made her heart spasm.
Died of fear and rage.
She ate a large plateful of steak pie and chips
Then ate a meringue
Died of indigestion and stupidity or both
Her husband hit her with the frying pan
Died because the pan was cast iron.
Death was not intended nor expected
Verdict :Suicide as he had hit her so many times, she could have left
Note: Cast iron may cook well but it is dangerous when you throw it across the room
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Why trees dance
Mathematics cannot say
Why the branches with air play.
Nor how the chilly winter breeze
Rearranges these bare trees
How they dance above their roots
Though they have no feet nor shoes
In the dark night while we rest
They dance to music ,loving guests
When humid heat weighs down the air
They dance lightly everywhere
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God found living on welfare in East London
God voluntarily turned himself in at one the government’s vans asking illegal immigrants if they want to go home.Lawyers are assessing the cost of shooting God up to heaven from the top of Snowdon or Great Gable.
God declined to say how he arrived in Britain, though his burkha gave us a clue
She signed in for benefits as Jessy Christ and said she had two husbands.
At the time she was labelled as border-line schizophrenic but the Father and the Spirit were found in her council house. helping some beggars to cook a dinner.To have a council house in Walthamstow is a miracle in itself
God will be getting a reduction in her housing benefit
He can sleep in one bedroom if the bed is bigger.The judge says he does not accept that each person in the Trinity needs their own room.
Why God came here is not known as yet.Why he stayed is even more puzzling
However, he has been a great burden on the Economy as he has so many children that the Social Services can’t count them.Though many do seem to be employed gainfully.
His English is ok grammatically but we were told he has a “foreign accent”
and had no papers or identity cards.
God has asked that all the Mediaeval Cathedrals be returned to the Catholic Church as his son does not like Anne Boleyn very much and thought Henry V111th was a narcissistic ego maniac
We’ll let you know more about the drain on the Economy and whether God will cause a new Recession another in the next day or two.He certainly does move in mysterious ways…..that’s probably why no one saw him/her arrive.
God declined to say how he arrived in Britain, though his burkha gave us a clue
She signed in for benefits as Jessy Christ and said she had two husbands.
At the time she was labelled as border-line schizophrenic but the Father and the Spirit were found in her council house. helping some beggars to cook a dinner.To have a council house in Walthamstow is a miracle in itself
God will be getting a reduction in her housing benefit
He can sleep in one bedroom if the bed is bigger.The judge says he does not accept that each person in the Trinity needs their own room.
Why God came here is not known as yet.Why he stayed is even more puzzling
However, he has been a great burden on the Economy as he has so many children that the Social Services can’t count them.Though many do seem to be employed gainfully.
His English is ok grammatically but we were told he has a “foreign accent”
and had no papers or identity cards.
God has asked that all the Mediaeval Cathedrals be returned to the Catholic Church as his son does not like Anne Boleyn very much and thought Henry V111th was a narcissistic ego maniac
We’ll let you know more about the drain on the Economy and whether God will cause a new Recession another in the next day or two.He certainly does move in mysterious ways…..that’s probably why no one saw him/her arrive.
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Beginnings
The tree is stretching upwards to the sun
Soon its fruiting year will have begun
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A tonic
Derry
A blog is a guide’s best friend
He has no best fiend yet
She drowned their worries in a sing song
A fog got them in the bend
She frowned in a bath of cold water
Where is the Curse this morning?
Be patient with us
I got here first but why?
We are understaffed, full of idiots and believe in euthanasia How are you?
.I believe in sudden wrath
He flew onto a page.
She had a clinic attack ,It was the doctor
I am lying
So am I
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Earn less pay less
Pay less tax,.. take a lower paid job or become a beggar
Get a smaller house in a tougher area.
Sell your car
Don’t buy goods on which you pay VAT
Get rid of your accountant
Sell your dog and get a cat
Don’t marry, love in sin
Do we really need a licence to love?
Change the law
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The time of weeping
The endless sobs, the weeping with loud voice
Noone would live here by choice
The families cannot bear the mother’s pain
So they send them here the sense is plain
How do Carers paid the lowest wage
Replace the family who have disengaged?
Yet the old are selfish in their whines .
They drive away their child so many times
Love must have conditions it’s no game
Before you age remember this fact plain
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Poison
The tree’s pale branches turn again to red
Lately they’ve been pale yet they are not dead
The Covid winter did the same to us
Yet we shall brighten too we be are not cursed
There is no God who punishes like this
Though we have gone wrong we seek new paths
But men will fight engendering new wrath
Murder hate and rage can grip our hearts
Even in the home, fly poisoned darts
One changed person,one new life
Can lead many others out of strife.
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You don’t say
Born to sin,,,the original story
Born with a fin,.. the half life of a fish
Born in a tin,,,how to become a baked bean
Born to pin. A tailor’s life
Born to win .but at what?
Made with bear,. I am still there
In the Arctic full of elastic
My first confession.. I stole a tomato to give the priest
My last confession, I don’t remember.
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The mountains Mourn
Oh, it’s Bloody Sunday here in Britain
An obituary is easily written
Many people shot and killed
As slowly grind God’s many mills
So civilised, we’re always right
Didn’t these people want to fight?
Cowards here the unarmed men
Shot by Britain now again
Women too may mingle in
We’re not averse to shooting them
Our care and manners are skin deep
We’re barbarians , you are sheep.
Ireland starved and treated ill
I am angry at this still
Now we know if there’s Civil War
The army is trained to shoot us all
Black and white,Fenian green
The mountains mourn for they have seen.
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Mourning
Oh, it’s Bloody Sunday here in Britain
An obituary is easily written
Many people shot and killed
As slowly grind God’s many mills
So civilised we are always right
Did these people not want to fight?
Cowards here the unarmed men
Shot by Britain now again
Women too may mingle in
We’re not averse to shooting them
Our care and manners are skin deep
We’re barbarians , you are sheep.
Ireland starved and treated ill
I am angry at this still
Now we know if there’s Civil War
The army is trained to shoot us all
Black and white,Fenian green
The mountains mourn for they have seen.
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The world of trust, of relaxation, tact
Each body cell can widen or contract
Like individual beings, each minute,
Each shows a different world than we expect
In our secrecy, new visions may impact
Our hidden mind with metaphor’s astute,
As body cells each open or contract
From our pain, experience distracts.
The mind and heart and soul can each re-route
We see a world more changed than we expect
The world of trust, of relaxation, tact,
Tensions in the mind will soon dispute.
The choir of cells may sing or lose affect
Faith in the unknown, what shows our lack?
Can we reach such faith in minute steps?
We “see” our world too much under attack
As glows the candle, at sweet Fire it hints
Let each respond in their own dialect
Each body cell can widen or contract
We see new worlds, not mirrors ,blind reflects
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Throw your money into a black hole
The sky is yellow ochre tinged with grey
The sun is gone and we felt stark dismay
We can’t meet friends in person any more
Only shout as we stand by the door
I think the source of Covid is just cash
Money laundered less, the notes unwashed
The coins are black as coal in devil’s claws
Don’t leave the tip that kills , nor money gnaw
I used to suck a shilling while I worked
I tapped my fingers where it would not hurt
But now the sight of pounds makes me feel sick
Never use old notes nor lovers lick
Throw your money into a black hole
You may starve but this will save your soul
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Previous blood
Clever cats
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Or Nero
What a friend we have in zero
We get morbid, disappear,no?
No demand can bring back heroes
At my command we flung theories.
How wet sand won’t answer queries.
Come unto the Queen’s tiaras
I’ll have baked beans on your knee, Oh !
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Unfinished
Scaffolding bores the view
Dwarfs the tree and fence
Unfinished work
Abandoned weather rotted,
Where is the owner?
I don’t like this
At all
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Beauty
