Category: Thinkings and poems

Fear of meditation

Zenphobia = fear of meditation.
Manphobia=fear of single men.
Ironpansphobia-fear of metal pans.
Lensphobia= fear of digital cameras.
Femaphobia-fear of females.
Criticismo’phobia= fear of nasty remarks from Irish men.
Tanphobia=fear of the sun
Tenphobia= fear of decimals.
Bigbenphobia= fear of the government
Fensphobia=fear of East Anglia.
Hensphobia=fear of being chased by hens.
Sinophobia= fear of Chinese sins.
Tinphobia= fear of tinned Fray Bentos pies.
Chartphobia=fear of diagrams.

Emile wants to be a nun

Mary went into the kitchen walking very slowly because she was wondering what to have for supper. Now that she was alone she had so much more choice but appetite had not returned after her husband has gone on holiday with his mistress Annie who live next door.

Well I suppose we all need our freedom at times but to do it so blatantly was wrong. Phil the fact that he’s already had an affair with this woman next door made it less surprising.

The problem was that he normally cooked the supper so Mary was not used to thinking about the menu. When she was a student she bought a

steak pie in a tin but she didn’t know whether you could buy things like that anymore and anyway Marks and Spencers and it’s chilled food was usually a lot more tempting than tins of meat pies. But she had not planned ahead. She had not remembered to go shopping. she remembered that emu had some very nice food which look like beef pieces in jelly.

Later Mary and Emile were sitting at the table eating beef pie made with frozen puff pastry.

It’s very good Mary cried. Do you like it Emile?

Yes I’m quite converted to pies I’d like a sardine tomorrow or how about making some bread dough and we could have a sardine and mushroom pizza.

So Mary said to him you know I don’t eat fish.

Well don’t worry I will eat the entire pizza for myself,the cat told her. I wonder if pizza express do them? You could have a vegetarian pizza mother.

Yes alright then we can have that tomorrow with one provision that you eat yours outside on the patio

Alright I agree I know that you want to spend some time alone because you are very angry with Stan and Annie.

But we all know exactly well that Stan died some years ago. Is Mary losing her marbles ?

Then the phone rang. Hello it’s Annie they heard.

I don’t like Blackpool much especially my being alone. So I’m going to come back tomorrow and on the way from the station I will call into Marks and Spencer’s food shop. I’ll buy some lovely food and bring it around tomorrow evening so I can tell you about my adventures in the Blackpool Illuminations.

Well am I going mad, thought Mary. Never mind no one will notice because I was already very peculiar but I’ll be careful not to speak to anyone who doesn’t already know me. Or I will take a vow of silence and say I am a nun. I’m going to build a hermitage in the garden.

Can I be a nun as well said Emile?

Will at the moment a man cannot be a nun but if the rules change I will let you know Emile.

Thank you ,mother.

And so say all of us

The ice cream,a story

So why are you eating that layered chocolate icecream,Mary,asked Annie her dear neighbour charmingly attired in a light purple skirt and blue silk top with butterflies embroidered round the neckline and hips covered by a silk dressing gown in light orange
Well, it’s a rather a strange story;it all began when Sainsburys had no slots for delivery
That’s not very interesting,said Annie foolishly
It is to me, Mary muttered plaintively.I wondered if there was anywhere else to get milk and bread delivered as my neighbours were not so keen to get my last prescription
Why, was it for heroin? Annie teased her, her smiling face ruined by a too pale foundation by Hercules of Paris and Dalmatia with crimson lipstick from Boots adorning her wrinkled lips.She looked ready to star in Death in Venice
No it was for cystitis, Mary cried.Anyhow I went on to Deliveroo and they have a store that sells food from Marks and Spencers.Only a limited range, of course
Mary’s oval face flushed with a pink glow and her singular blue eyes flashed like imitation diamonds at sunset in Weston -super-Mare
In contrast she was wearing a heather tweed skirt and jumper of pure new wool
And her green trainers and matching tights
But they had no milk so I continued with them on to Morrisons who again have a small selection
of food and drink
In half an hour they were at the door and all was well
Then one word came to my mind
What was it, Annie asked her nervously, her fingers twisting her newly washed her into ringlets so fast it looked as if she was destroying the roots
Eggs,Eggs! They had no eggs,Mary confided.
Have you none left?
Yes but Emile fell off the window sill onto the work surface and crushed them all
Do you believe it was an accident? Cats have been known to suck eggs,Annie whispered
Wow,I didn’t know that, Emile miaowed furtively
Stay away from my eggs,Mary scolded him.Lay your own.I wish I could
So naturally I went to Deliveroo where the local Coop was selling food
I got eggs,crumpets, marmalade and then I noticed they sold icecream.Chocolate icecream.
You never eat it.Annie told her
But I like it, so I thought,I’ll just get one as it is Easter
Well, the man came to the door and I saw he had a very small bag
I took it and it said, “sorry, we have no eggs so we have sent 6 icecreams”
That is illogical ,said Annie.You can’t bake icecream nor eat it boiled with toast
So then I thought I”ll either fly into a rage or I will eat the icecream
Then tomorrow I will phone them and say, those eggs you sent were off
I have been sick all night.I want a refund
This is not like you,Mary, her friend said.You don’t cheat and tell lies
Not up till now but we have to change.Not just ethically but also
we have to curse and swear
Your fecking eggs were off.
But Annie shouted: they will say
We don’t sell fecking eggs we only have pickled eggs
Then I will shout: pickle off cried Mary
That icecream has made you go crazy,Mary.,Annie informed her
Am I schizophrenic? Mary asked politely
Not yet but Emile might be if you carry on
I’ll make us some lovely PG Tips Tea, that will restore our sanity
And make some for all of us

Free

I’m standing on the diving board so now my time has come

I’d like to thank the prison guards each and every one

I have suffered all the torture, I didn’t think I would

The starving and the torture have not done much good.

Losing weight is easy when you are in jail.

We didn’t get much sunshine so I’ve turned quite pale.

I could hear some others screaming but I just sang my song

Take me to the northern hills for that’s where I belong

Take me to my garden, will you find my cat

I’m used now to being alone but I would like him back.

I’ve spent so long in darkness with ceilings low and grim

I’m ready for the dive now although I cannot swim

Before you are old

Before you are old


Read poetry

Before you are old

write poetry

Before you are old

Be a perceiver.

Before you are old

When you are old

Write poetry

When you are old

Read poetry.

Hear the music

In the silence

Hear the music

Float away on its waves

NYTimes: A Neurologist’s Tips to Protect Your Memory

A Neurologist’s Tips to Protect Your Memory https://nyti.ms/3Ihv8ps

Pay more attention.

Some memory lapses are actually attention problems, not memory problems. For instance, if you’ve forgotten the name of someone you met at a cocktail party, it could be because you were talking with several people at the time and you didn’t properly pay attention when you heard it.

Story continues below advertisement

Feeling really unwell and in pain since I had the covid booster on Tuesday.

I am having a severe reaction to the CV ovid booster. My arm from the elbow to the shoulder is very painful. It’s difficult to move the my arm.

I felt ill yesterday. When I went to bed I was so tired that I could hardly get up to turn the light out. I have forgotten about it

After a couple of hours sleep I woke up feeling teally ill. Best my shoulders hurt. My left knee which is my good one was very swollen and I could hardly put my weight on it to walk

I was not worried about it because I have had this too already with no reaction but I certainly would feel worried about taking it again

If you have arthritis talk to your doctor before you have this booster jab

to the bathroom

On the compost heap

Before we go to bed we vegetate
No need for teacher but a compost heap.
And as we vegetate, we drift to sleep
While in our dreams our little mind debates

But mostly we’re unknowing in this dark
Where God himself may manifest at will.
His dazzling darkness makes our souls be still
And wait for strikes by living ,glowing spark.

But in the morning ,we come back to strife
Take up our work and suffer every stroke.
From sapling to the oldest,strongest oak
Each must choose again its proper life

Every look we cast at others strikes
Reflects and shows us what we have become
And when there is no movement, we are done
Our mind and heart have chosen what they like.

So in our end we vegetate again
And no more rise to labour in the day
We fertilise the fields passed on our way
We show the end of woman and of man.

A daily round becomes our life and death.
We live because we’re breathed by sacredness.

Too many words confuse the heart of love

What effect do abstract theories have?

Is the mind bamboozled our words?

What’s a sentence to an act of love?

What effect do abstract theories have?

What’s naked heart to those who’re sad?

On Good Friday what has Ireland spurnef?

What effect do abstract series have?

Is the mind cut off by friendless words?

The hospital ward

No mobile gnomes after 9:00 p.m.

Please do not disturb the doctor when he does his rounds. It’s all gone elliptical today ml

The police heard mobile groans coming from the bathroom. Then they moved to the ceilings. If the patient has died they would not grow

Please do not make love in the future. It’s been decided it’s all war from now on.

I thought, That’s the university, and then I was hit by a mobile stone. Now I have totally forgotten what a differential operator is and was Dirac one? Why don’t you shoe a little bit of interest in what I’m telling you?

Get an eye loan from Moorfields Hospital. Of course the patients are dead when we take their eyes out. What do you think we are.monsters?

I went for my first check up at the hospital and after covering up my left eye the doctor asked me what I could see. So I said to him you are safe with me doctor. All I can see is blackness with a few flashes.

Can’t you read the letters on the chart?

I didn’t know that the Chinese used letters.

Are you Chinese?

Yes but I only whisper.

I can’t test your eyes in here because we don’t have enough of the Chinese alphabet in the correct format.

Good heavens anybody would think you were doing M.Math. at Oxford

Most people would not even know what it was

If I were you I would go back to China and have your eyes tested there

Is it free?

Pay your own fare or pretend to be a spy and let them kidnap you and take you back to China.

What about Framing?

Very good framing

It’s not me you who needs Framing it’s my lenses.

Have you got any contacts?

1708.9 followers on my blog?

Tell me who is nought point nine on your blog?

007

I didn’t know James Bond was Chinese.

Neither did he

We never gain the ends if we don’t start

Am I an idolator today
For to St Jude I have been known to pray
Patron of the Hopeless, the Outcast
I call on him to find my shopping list

I call on him when I have lost my phone
And long to hear my husband’s mobile groans
If this ignites distress am I to blame
The fires of love are what keep women sane?

I call on him while homesick though at home
Without my love the house feels empty, lone
Does God detest me when I pray for aid?
For these years, with suffering I have paid

Say or sing whatever suits your heart
We never gain the end if we don’t start

Wider than a star

The mind is deeper than a well  and wider than a star
I lose myself in waters deep ,symbolic ,sweet and clear
I rest embraced well by this  love and wish for nothing more
I dream I walk in meadows sweet
The daisies in my hair

The heart has reasons and desires as if it were a  mind
If it’s soft as cashmere wool then it will remain  kind
Yet if it’s hard then it may crack and we will split ,divide
I dream I walk by river fleet
With  heart and mind combined

The other self that dwells alone in privacy divine
Needs sacred care and sweet respect and peace from what’s malign
The inner nature of   us all is   given and then transformed
I dream I walk on long white sands
By seas blue, crystaline

Very early onset dementia

I always thought my daughter was stupid but she’s sutpassed herself this week She was born when I was 25 and now she is in the secondary school because she turned 12. Well she was off school one day last week but I didn’t know that she was playing hooky. The next day she told the teacher that she had to stay home with me because I was suffering from dementia so I had to lie down with a cold compress on my head. Well there is early onset dementia but I am only 37 and I’ve not even reached the menopause yet. But the teacher believed her so the headmistress is going to someone see me tomorrow and find out whether I’m having any treatment. I’ll give her some treatment if she comes here so she will not come back again

I find myself in happy joyous dreams

Walking on the Pebbles with bare feet

Children took  their shoes off by the Stream

The water clear and warm in summer heat

The Dentdale grass is sweet for hungry sheep

The rippled water plays with each sunbeam

The water clear and warm in summer heat

I picked up pebbles in my hand so sweet

The colour’s almost never what it seems

Back onto the Pebbles with bare feet

Hear the lark ascending as it greets

Happiness can never be consumed

I lose myself in nightmares and in dreams.

I find myself in plans and joyous schemes

Walking on the pebbles with bare feet

The water’s clear and warm with summer heat

Is being stressed a mental illness?

I see that there’s been a 38% increase in the number of civil servants taking time off for so-called mental such as stress

Suppose I am a civil servant being given ever increasing amounts of work in a country with low morale and many people are suffering from the effects of covid etc etc etc is it fair to label these people as mentally ill or would it be kinder and more realistic to say that a great number of people in many jobs now are being asked to do more work than is normal or sensible so tje load is too heavy for anybody except a single person with a schizoid disposition and no interest or hobbies who is looking for something to fill in their empty days. I’m sure he’s grateful for being overworked. And he will enjoy the extra money that he got if he was paid for overtime which is strictly speaking

If you get a headache every time you want more than 6 hours a day you have to consider wheather you are just weak and feeble so I can migraine when you spend all that time calculating peoples income tax or whether they’re doing that kind of highly focused work need some limit on its time whereas if you were drawing cartoons which I have never done but if you were a drawing cartoons I can imagine you could do it for 12 hours a day if someone brought you some nice meals.

Not allcwork can be compared.

Would you rather be a butcher or teach calculus in a comprehensive School?

Would you like to be a surgeon orvmow the Lord outside the Civic Center?

Keep singing real songs


Keep singing back to me, my sweetheart
Don’t leave me all alone.
Come back to me,my darling
I can’t believe you’ve gone.
I’m crying ‘cos I’m feeling blue again.
I’m crying’ cos I’m falling like a stone.

O

Oh, let me tempt you with my beauty
And my voice forever young.
Let me tempt you with my spirit
My laughter and my songs.
I’m crying ‘cos I never did you wrong.
I’m crying ‘cos with you I did belong.

I thought maybe I’d follow,
To see where you have gone
But there’s a hand upon this tiller
That is not mine alone.
I’m crying ‘cos I wrote this old blue song.
I’m crying ‘cos we’ve been apart too long.

The hand upon the tiller
The mystery of the dark
The unknown one who lives in me
And sings to leave their mark
Singing ‘cos I wrote you a new song.
Singing ‘cos with music all belong.

The river Hodder dreams

I wish we were in Clitheroe again

The Ribble and the Hodder meeting near

The generous food, the walks without a plan.

The Ribble valley is the finest here.

I wish we were together now and then

Should marriage do away with other friends?

If you decided where I could say when

Then the dove to us its peace would lend

In our childhood we don’t think of ends

Every day is infinite in joy

And we hide the toys that we can’t mend

You , every infant every girl and boy

I like to be in Bowland Forest now.

Be my guest and be my ghost somehow

The funny way of algebra

Get on with mathematics

So why do we use letters in algebra?

Numbers have no phones.

What would happen if parallel lines met,?

Trains would crash

What is the square root of minus 1,?

I didn’t even know numbers had any roots square or circular.

How many degrees are there in a right angle?

I thought you got degrees at Uni .

I don’t understand what this right angle is.

It means Looking at the world in the best possible way.

What is trigonometry for?

Measuring triggers.

What is topology?

The height of wisdom

Why do we need numbers?

It takes two to tango.

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