When Mary awoke, she felt the pain in her ear was worse. I think must have an ear infection, she said to Annie while she was beating the doormat on the wall to get the dust out. Maybe you should stop cleaning and housework.You are releasing lots of dirt into the air You are right,Mary replied.It’s just what Mother used to do But did she have a hoover? No, we had a Ewbank. Get a cordless cleaner and it will suck the dust out for you Thanks,Annie.I think I will go to the Urgent Care Centre.I don’t want an abscess in my ear to explode,as it were. I’m sorry I can’t come but they have restrictions about how many visitors go in Mary called a cab.Soon she was in the almost empty hospital.How much she would have liked a companion.Still, there is always God, wherever they has moved to. A young woman with thick frizzy fair hair called her in and said that she was a GP Mary was thinking how much better her pale lips would look with some lipstick As for her clothes, it is best to remain silent.I suppose doctors can’t afford to go to M & S nowadays You have wax in your ear, the doctor cried in surprisde That’s good.I need a candle,Mary said inventively Then the maskless doctor stood in front of Mary and peered into her mouth. She pushed Mary’s crutch away and announced, there is nothing wrong with you You must go out and make new connections, do things, go to Dances, play Bingo Get up and walk, she advised , as Jesus remarked in the Gospel ,though he also asked the cripple to take up his bed as he walked yet there were no beds left in the hospital Oh,dear Mary said I am not wired myself as yet.My body is running on sunshine. Do you think I should offer my supine body to the lonely old men living in the big houses near here? I’m afraid I shall have to charge them.Do you have any free room with an elecric socket that I might use? And we’ll need a bed The beds are all full, the doctor replied Good grief, how many people are in these beds? Do they share? Don’t ask me.It’s my coffee break, the young lady cried Mary struggled up and went outside to call a cab At least it’s been a change of scene yet as the cab drove her home, the pain began to get worse. Is Mary going to make it?
To be concluded shortly Funeral arrangements by the Coop. if need be
SeeOne evening Mary got earache so bad she was anxious if her brain might be damaged What’s wrong,mother? mewed Emile her small black cat I’ve got earache, she told him.And I am still not your mother! When will you be my mother? If the law was changed we could get married,Mary said wittily I can’t marry you, it would feellike incest,Emile whispered I don’t expect to have a sexual life now but you could massage my legs and run up and down my spine Anyone can do that. Well, not a dog I hope,Mary giggled.No I love cats After watching “Princess Di, the true story” on their tablets, they were both happy to rest in their beds Mary woke up to find her earache was worse, like a knife running into her head Stan, she cried, where are you? I need you!Come home! Emile ran in, with tears in his eyes You know Dad is heaven,Mother Yes,said Mary, though he could be in Purgatory Is that because he had Annie as his lover,Emile asked No, no, l love is not what I’m thinking of.I bought a very nice bag in Somerset as my workbag When he left our flat to get the train to work, he had taken my bag not to mention six notebooks with unlined paper I was going to use for Art So what did you say. Mother? I said nothing.Wittgenstein wrote Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must remain silent But you could have thrown a bucket of cold water over him,Emil said angrily I doubt Wittgenstein would like that,Mary smiled Sometimes we just have to let things go or go into a bohemian boutique .. I went into one and got a yellow cord skirt of unusual design and some deep red trousers Did you not wear a top,Emile enquired jauntily? No,I went to give a lecture on 3 dimensional calculus nude from the waist upward Did nobody say anything? I was so thin I looked like a boy and they were all enraptured by my words anyway Those days we were civil to others and ignored their errors or that their trousers were ripped and that some shirts looked crumpled.We mathematians don’t care about these things. Then they saw DPD had a van outside. man crossed the road wth several parcels from M&S. Mary pulled put a long green wool coat and a cashmere hat So who doesn’t care,Emile mewed? I thought it would be good when I need to sit on a wall.The moss on walls is green. Well,I can see the sense in that, he replied In ran adulterous Annie their neighbour and Stan’s former mistress Oh,I have bought one of those.I fear they will shut down and it’s hard to buy a tailored wool coat these days.They have merino wool jumpers too Perhaps I’ll buy another, she muttered. Can I have a jumper,Emile asked? May I May I what? Have a jumper I am not human, he mewed.Don’t be rude I will knit you a jumper,Mary told him.Let me know the colours you like Don’t climb a tree in it or it might catch on a thorn Oh, mother, thank you,Emile murmured as he fell asleep
I have heard grass singing in the wind. I have walked through poppy fields in sun I have suffered when dark rain descends
I have watched trees’ shadows in the ponds I have known the arctic wastes of pain I have heard grass singing in the wind.
Another soul is writing with my hand Yet I have wept while loaning him my pen I have suffered when dark rain descends
I have known the edges of the mind I ‘ve sensed hollow silence un-contained. I have heard grass singing in the wind.
I have sorrowed for humans confined I have watched the antics of bad men I have suffered when dark rain descends
I have seen the storm by camera lens. I have felt the solar system bend. I have heard grass singing in the wind. I have suffered when dark rain descends
Mary came home to find Stan crying in his old chair What’s the matter,baby, she asked gently? I feel so stupid, he told her.I was in the kitchen getting a drink but the running water made my bladder want to empty Well, we do have a loo in the hall I forgot that so I picked up an old pan and used that That’s ok,dearest, she whispered Then I realised, it was a colander! I am sorry,Mary, Well, it’s nothing.Women are used to things like this. Hi said Annie as she ran in with her pink cheeks glowing I have got a steam mop today and I’ve just cleaned your kitchen floor.I’d done mine earlier That is very kind of you.We had a bit of a problem in there Yes, the tomcat up the road seemed to have left his mark but it’s ok now She smiled at Stan. who still looked nervous. I’ll buy you a steam mop for Xmas.I think of it as a toy and I am killing Roman soldiers with the steam or I have other little fantasies So do I,Stan muttered Why don’t we have a cup of tea? Mary carried the tea in on a wooden tray Mary, that’s my desk drawer. Don’t tell me you were going to wee into this No, I brought it down to shake the dust out before I put my pens and paper back Well, remember, chamber pots are never made of wood. Wow. how amazing Why not ? Because it is porous so stuff soaks into the very wood itself Annie said, why do you need one when you have an ensuite plus a loo in the hall Maybe it is my second childhood,Stan joked merrily Emile strolled in Smokey and I have been in the woods.The kitchen seems very clean I’ve been trying my steam mop on it,Annie reported Very nice, said Emile,I’d like a small one Cats don’t mop floors, mewed Smokey Maybe we will be the first Just to make sure Dad is well I’d better ring 999 Stan is not your Dad and he does not want to see anyone Why not? He wet the floor Humans suffer so.We mate with all and sundry, wet the ground and eat the meat when you forget to freeze it Well, never mind.We do have a bit of fun Have more,Emile mewed And so say all of us
I ‘m missing him like we miss that lost tooth We were in the dentist’s chair We had the anaesthetic but still felt the tug and force. And the dentist might have yelled,look at this, I got it all out in one You see,once,,the root was very twisted and tangled I told him,take it away. I’m missing him because his absence makes a hole like that bloody hollow in your jaw where your tooth was but in the soul. And when I came home alone from the clinic I felt that hole.The first time I had come back home when he wasn’t here. God doesn’t do anaesthesia, we gather I’m missing him because he needed me so much Now nobody needs me nor notices if I am here Or if I fall over in the garden,will I die and rot down to the earth before my neighbour recalls he’s not seen me for three weeks.Or maybe five. I miss him the way you’d miss your flesh if someone shot you with a rifle and made a tunnel through your body; took out a lump which would hurtle away and fall to earth. I’m missing his honey smell. the knowledge,the feeling he had of me. The hole in my space is almost tangible in this room. I wake up and wonder what he’d like to eat today. But the dead don’t eat at our tables do they? I remember I am alone at the table and I can eat whatever I like. Oh,love,why did you have to go down so fast? When you were the one ,solid I leaned on. You were so human in my arms.
I sat on I sat on your old wall to see the sun The wall is cold and makes my rear end chill And all too soon each little day is done
The day is ending and I ‘ve not yet begun To do my writing , let my mind be still I sat on your old wall in winter sun
If we were younger we might have more fun We must allow now what we cannot will As all too soon each little day is done
Must we finish what we have begun? We gazed at rampant water by the mill. I sat on this old wall in winter sun
As a woman, I can love a man Then to their rest with singing I may lull As all too soon each little day is done
Today my heart with love is very full And happy tears my features like to swill I sat on your stone wall to eye the sun As all too soon each little day is done
Why does what you believe have anything to do with it?
Why don’t you believe?
This is getting too belligerent for me
. Why why do you bring woe into every discussion
I mean evening war. He wrote this great shovels.
In my opinion Lesbian Freud was more of a shoveler
You have to be very rich to shovel your paint on.
You should have been my wife getting ready to go out
Would you take me that your strife
You are so perspicacious
What’s wrong with youwhat’s wrong with youwhat’s wrong with you swallowed the dictionary again?
I thought it was a pork chop
That depends entirely on where we are eating
If we are Jewish it’s the dictionary and if we are not jewish it’s a pork chop it’s simple surely everyone could understand that even an income put like you
Don’t you think it’s wrong to fry a dictionary!
If you use very high quality olive oil it’s alright.
I don’t think I will ever understand your steamings
You mean my scheming ?
I don’t know where we are going to.
Is this is this the X-Ray and CT scan department?
I’m sorry it’s the CP Snow department.
How do they read that?
His books are all in English.
You could have knocked me up with a feather.
I wish that you would informed me earlier. I would not have a hole in my conman.
Oh very good. Everywhere with me I text none.
Looking at all that rubbish I can’t understand why I am here at all.
But do we need to know why we are here?
Well why did God give the ten commandments to Moses?
Probably not to teach us how to swim.
I don’t know how much further we can go.
Will we know when it’s the end?
I think so. My friend have Faith. She wants to get married as soon as possible.
I love her with all my heart some too shy who’s supposed she would marry me.
Don’t let shine it’s deprive you of life. It will be over soon
The earth is where I want to be. I want the day,I want the night. I want the dark.I want the light. I want to see and to be seen,~ And not to lose my precious dreams
The sun has set, grey clouds turn black,
The day just gone will not come back.
I’ll rest in quiet reverie
Until the reaper’s scythe takes me. And then I drop and mix with dust, Till worms and beetles sate their lust. And fall into ten thousand motes, And dance, in sunlight, music’s notes.
No more striving ,no more ambition
No more fighting,no competition.
Every particle’s the same
Without even a unique name. And, side by side, we all are one, The lusts of life have been and gone. We dwell with dirt and grain and sand At last we’ve reached the Promised Land
So you are gone who once declared your love For that phantasm conjured in your mind For onto me you brought down from above A torment bitter and some words unkind.
Used to friendship from within your books
You did not understand that I was real Irritation grew as you did look; You threw your poisoned arrows at my heel.
What once you loved then you began to hate If not perfect then intolerable I must be And then you cursed me with this sorry fate Our child was born and him you’ll never see.
Illegitimate and born in desert grey. I carried him alone from death’s dark way.
How my heart speaks 