He loves the Guardian and soon he will be washing his door with Flash!

http://www.brownielocks.com/words.html

From the banal to the dreadful

books for sale

tidy my closet

read Straw Dogs

watch the BBC appeal

for amateur photographers videos

of Leytonstone.

Buy gifts for Xmas

Give money to the Red Cross

From my narcissistic needs

To my selfless generosity.

At which point does my compass stop?

Kona Charity Run:I can supply them!!

I didn’t look at “Recommneded for you” for a long time but when I did I found it is based on MORE.MORE AND MORE.

Now sometimes that is useful as when you look for a book on a certain topic.But even when you have just purchased 50  pairs of men’s underpants which is clearly enough for any husband,every time you look the computer is suggesting more similar ones.And it can be painful when your husband doesn’t need them any more.

[You can click on Improve your Recommendations and then choose items to eliminate.]

But it seems like a parable for modern life.That we never have enough of anything and always want more.

I bought a pan.I have a small kitchen so can’t store lots and in any case nobody needs more  and more milkpans.However Amazon have not bothered to write a  programme whicj can differentiate between books or music that one might want more of and underpants,vests,pans,cutlery etc.It must be possible to eliminate at least some of these.

Watching televisions is not hard

They can’t walk.

Talk ok and take your views

Of the News.

Flat ones can’t have a  plant on top

alongside the wooden birds

I preferred

As I say,I keep my eye on it.

Watch it secretly when no-one is here

Or near

I’m waiting for it to speak its real words.

Or to ask me a question.

Who are you?

Why do  you watch me?

Have you no shame?

If a television could speak

We wouldn’t be able to understand what’s sad about it.

Look at this

I don’t like this  new word cachexic

It has  more than a hint of the toxic

Yet is Greek

So we must speak

And practise until we all rock ,chick.

I am the opposite of what I once was

I think I’ve been washed in some Daz.

I’m so pale I’m translucent

But not  yet indecent.

I’m grateful  for all that me has.

Cachelocks are a new  type of safe.

You put your laptop in a brace.

Then you swear and you curse

And rattle a hearse.

I suggest then to hide that red face

Cachelicks are followers of  God

Who forgot how to spell, as they trod

Grapes and wild cherries

And other black berries.

And for them it was a sin to say,Sod.

Catlicks was a term of abuse

To us children who walked  from our house.

It was Belfast in miniature…

No bagpipes in the furniture.

I sometimes felt like a black louse.

For I had a friend who was Other.

They were Methodists from near  the river.

So I had to hide my religion

From even their pigeon.

I felt all the time in a state or a dither.

For I did not know what would deceive

Indeed not even what would please.

So I went stiff all over

I shrank into the sofa.

And my Lord was I happy to leave!

I suppose now I’d not give a toss.

Ignoring me was their loss.

I am both blonde and wise

And have two blue eyes.

Though my face can go red when I’m cross.

My skin is too thin ,so I’m told

And my nerves are much larger and bold.

So I feel everything double

When there is real trouble.

Indeed it need only be cold

Email can be formal if we choose

But as time rattles on we all use

More informal manners

And dress in pajamas.

Soon they’ll be  nude  while  declaiming the  News.

Acronyms and short words abound.

If we spoke like that,how would it sound?

CU soon,lover

DNB another.

How can we be sure if we’re around?

50 per cent or more

of the world’s

surface is cheeta,

the fastest   desert

or grassland  on earth

The  animal

is a hunter

but while Xtians think,

only for a few seconds,

can she tap her top speed?

So eat each other before nightall

I wonder  animals did not

maintain  the  tactics

and planning  of

their designer.

He lets us cook in the bush

As he simmers.

He’s hot!

Matthew,Mark,Luke and John

Go and put the kettle on.

Job needs comfort,there’s no beer.

Tell him  tea is  wet and clear,

Jacob grasped his brother’s heel.

Let’s see  if this tea will heal.

Sibling troubles,concubines

All were sinners all were signs.

Matthew,Mark or Luke have gone

Let’s all read  our book by John

Paul   contrived  Christianity

Instead he should have stuck to tea.

Jesus said  ,no  sacrifice.

Just drink your tea and behave nice.

That give Judas is idea

The perfect offering stood quite near.

Jews were scandalised and how!

God  said of Isaac,no,no no !

Yet Christians say  human sacrifice

Was God’s desire for Jesus Christ.

Are we going backwards when

We kill the Christ,again,again?

I was  planning to go to the church

But my belief in God’s son ‘s in the lurch.

I feel very weak

And also can’t speak.

Ah,see the sun shine on those silver birch.

Auschwitz was surrounded by  birch.

The  guards   mostly went to their church.

They swallowed the Host

By the hell of the lost.

Leave me now,don’t try to  preach.

The ghosts of those people are here.

The world tosses us into that sphere.

Why not bomb more

Until we are sure

The ghosts are aungmented  this year.

I had an admirer  last year

In the bus queue at me he did stare.

Beautiful eyes

He said ,very nice.

He was lonesome  and loved women fair.

Later he said,beautiful lady.

Don’t worry, it was nothing shady.

He was Greek,don’t you see

And he was lonely for me.

His wife had just died on that Mayday.

Some relations believe I have a queue

Of admirers who  wait for a cue.

But it’s all fantasy

Because,don’t you see

About romance I have no clue.

Yet if a man wants a cripple

Who can see with one eye,  and that’s subtle.

Send me your details,

Your  phone and your email;

But you need to be extra supple.

I prefer men with noses quite big

And I blush to admit,love a cig.

For my daddy smoked

And the smell  filled his coat.

So it turns me on  my wooden leg.

Unqueued colours  assaulting each other

When people complain about “foreigners” living here [ who may be British citizens BTW] one of the things they often mention is that foreigners don’t know how to queue.We queue  for buses,,taxisin shops and banks and we all know how to do it.

You must not push,shove or even touch someone else.As a matter of fact touching someone against their will is common assault.. a crime unless it’s your  spouse when it’s considered ok… or was till recently.

People stand in the order they arrive in.Late comers go to  the end.If you don’t  people get agitated unless you say,

I’m terribly sorry but I have severe pain in my legs.Could I possibly sit on that seat .I know I am pushing in but I won’t get onto the bus until it’s my turn.Thank you so much.You are so kind.

Then they will be happy to let you in.

If you visit the UK then this will help you…queueing  the British hobby and habit.Fair play and all that.

Inside my mind I dream of  pearls,
Caterpillars,snails with   whorls.
I dream contented, all enwrapped;
With reverie and dream I’m lapped.
The inner seas will comfort me,
While gods help these,my eyes, to see

Oh,sweeter than confectionery
Is my  Oxford diction’ry.
The words whirl round  then fall to shape
The sentences which my world make.
This furnishing is rich and strange
Yet magically self arranged.

Oh,sweeter than the love of man
Is reading works of poets long gone;
Feeling deeply their dark tides .
Upon which our boat may glide.
The sea infinite we float upon
Is the same sea the ancients swam..

Sweeter still is the spring air
And the blossom spreading fair.
We’ll drown our selves in grassy fields
To the gods of poetry yield.
We’ll rise again and spring up tall
To grow more rich until we fall.

Old man,bending over,
arched like a fallen moon
in a dark lilac  winter sky.
joy and pain wrestle my heart across the emptiness
and toss it up like a damp rocket
to fall in a hidden corner where mice live.
Would that not be a good ending,to be dust
to these little creatures nesting
in my chewed green twine and my tartan basket?
They have eyes and shiver in my hand when I rescue them
from the cat…
as any heart might.
Now night falls on the newspaper basket
where the damp Times and the Guardian mix into glue
and tomorrow the sun will rise;
it will just be the garbage
with no poetic undertones nor deathly hushes..
Heather and a silver light
you stand on a hill top like a god
looking over his domain.
Strong and now weak
it’s the human condition
Everlasting life is too dangerous for us.
Silent,motionless,home of beetles
bit by bit we fall away
into the mother soil
with cracked jugs and dropped coins
for a future academic to dig into.
Transparent hand touches me.
Whose might it be but yours?

Oliver Sacks.. part of a biography

Dwarfs vs. dwarves

Doctor I’ve got logghoreah

I feel worn out but I’m  still here.

Can you give me a blue pill,

As those bright green ones made me ill.

Oh,dear lady,I can teach you

If the subject’s not taboo.

If you keep your lips quite still

You ‘ll feel much better,I can tell.

Doctor,how can I  keep quiet?

Do you offer any diet?

Which sentences are too contrived;

Can you keep my brain alive?

Never use an old cliche;

From the ancient,go astray.

Keep you thoughts inside your head.

If  you can’t,then go to bed.

Doctor I am not Herr Freud

Yet I see  my well trod road.

I  seem to always want a man.

And in my bed I can fit one.

Yes I see you often mention

How your body needs attention.

You need love and so do I

But it’s evil if we try.

Talking ‘s a defence   of sorts

Used by folk  to control thoughts.

Intellectual word  excess

Is your device for happiness.

Yet it does not help your body

To keep on giving testimony.

So throw away your head,my dear

Love a man and lose that fear.

I don’t know that many men;

Maybe  I   count nine or ten.

Yet I fear they may use me

Merely as the maid at tea.

They may want  me to boil their hankies

When what I need is hanky panky.

How can I convert old boys

To make kleenex  tissues their first choice?

We don’t learn that when we’re training;

Nor cure depression when it’s raining.

We will have to run a trial.

Drink the oil from this small vial.

What will this oil do to me??

I really need a cup of tea.

Will it increase my libido

I shall not take it if that’s so.

Why don’t you trust me,my dear lady.

Do you think I’m a bit shady?

Well,you’re right,we men are lonely

And we look for ladies homely.

Surely you’ve got one  somewhere else.

Doctor’s need them for their health.

Yes, but I prefer your form.

How do you like my nice green lawn?

I prefer a sandy desert.

Lawns are so so last resort

Still we’re here so let’s commence.

I have  only got  five pence.

We have love so do not worry

Do not be in such a hurry

Catholics can’t have concubines

Yet God made them by design.

We must have missed some useful clue

Bow down  in worship of my shoe.

When we can afford a pair.

Then I’ll marry not just stare!