Author: Katherine

Poetry writer and author

Winter sun

I  see a gentle globe, the winter sun
Setting into softness  like pink down
As if a gentle wind made sunset come

The watercolour  mauve has overrun
Wishing to make light  of winter’s frown
I can see how  winter  hurts the sun

Overhead  it’s soft grey tinged with plum
This is no  fit garment for a clown
But  gentle winter winds made sunset come

A blueness planetary makes our dome
As if a verb is subtly changed to noun
I can see how  night clouds flirt with sun

All the pink is falling,falling ,gone
The sun is left a monarch with no crown
As if a low dark wind made nightfall come

My heart is watered as the colours run
Combining,dying,falling,night has won
I still see a  shadow of the sun
Now   the work  of  wind  is  over, done

Musings

Who is Al Jabber?

The brother of Al Gebra.

And few people love algebra.

Without algebra there would be no modern physics.

Is that bad or good?

We might be living in caves or sheds.

Could it be worse than paying a giant mortgage?

It could have been better though wild animals might eat us

Is that worse than being shelled by the Russians?

At least you would be providing food for the hungry.

Did Jesus include animals when he said,feed the hungry

As he didn’t speak English it’s hard to tell.In fact English had not been invented by then.

How about Irish?

I can’t say.

Let’s have a cup of tea.

Jesus never had tea

Would you if you could turn water into wine?

But could he turn wine into water?

Get on with mathematics

So why do we use letters in algebra?

Numbers have no phones.

What would happen if parallel lines met,?

Trains would crash

What is the square root of minus 1,?

I didn’t even know numbers had roots square or circular.

How many degrees are there in a right angle?

I thought you got degrees at Uni .

I don’t understand what this right angle is.

It means Looking at the world in the best possible way.

What is trigonometry for?

Measuring triggers.

What is topology?

The height of wisdom

Why do we need numbers?

It takes two to tango.

Sin in law

24900176_1036184386521439_5283231820066504380_n.jpg

My photo

My mother was so tactful.She introduced my husband to her neighbours:

This is my sin-in-law.

I told my neighbours when she visited
This is my bother

I said: What would you like to beat tonight?

Dread and slaughter, she responded

What, no clutter?

She said,I see fire in your eyes

I said: I am buried, you know

She said, how can you fake facts?

I said,I’m wildly over flagellated

She said,how did I give mirth to you?

You laughed at Dad in bed

How do you know?

I was there!

I never thought of that

Doorway

I have got more and more incontinent.
Do stop admiring Europe

Why do the government tell us to eat more fruit and veg?
To help evacuate the Common Market from our bodies

Why do the government not have enough beds in hospitals?
They can’t all go to sleep at once

Why are the politicians so stupid?
Because we are.

I am still incontinent
Don’t worry, only another week in the EU
I’ll apply for an Irish passport
You’re not Irish
No, but my parents were

I will miss the Spanish omelettes
But you never go there.

I will not miss Mass on Sundays.
I will become an atheist and worship myself for an hour.Much more satisfying.

I wonder how Enlightened we are.
Well, the light is not the problem.It’s the vision.

I saw the Light once
At Blackpool?

God is love
So is real love God?

Can we go on the Trans Siberian Express?
Where to ?

So why divorce

1

Why divorce?

She has no moral flaws so I feel inferior.

So,….,I have become impotent.

Is impotence grounds for divorce?

Yes if it is only with her.

You / have another woman?

In my mind!

2

So why are you asking for a no faults divorce?

He has no faults, he is just ugly?

Was he better when you married him?

I was blinded by love

I see but you don’t

Still time

My photo 2015

We never get washed at the weekend

We like to be dirty like coal

But when mother visits

She will say what is this is

Get me hot water and bowl

In the past people were dirty

But people looked roughly the same

Now we are phobic

After aerobics

We feel like a cat yet untamed

Our natural odours are sexy

Our nature propels us to mate

So get washed less often

And deodorant freshening

For procreation it’s never too late

Anne Lamott’s writing tips

rosaalchemyst2019https://writingcooperative.com/anne-lamotts-top-13-writing-tips-7577eb5d5c24

 

8. Writing is fueled by hard work rather than innate talent.

“I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts…For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.” -Anne Lamott

Lamott’s line about “shitty first drafts” has gotten a lot of airtime in the writing community. Many writers seem to use it as a rallying cry.

To me, this quote is a great reminder of the fact that authorship is not a land of “haves” and “have-nots.” The world population has not been divided into capable writers and hopeless wannabes.

If even the best writers in the world struggle to write beautiful prose, we know that writing is a learned craft — one in which we can all improve over time.

We earn the blessing of the Muse by putting in writing time — not by being born with a golden ink pen in our hand.

No faults divorce

What a my shame my husband is dead

I thought you were unhappy with him

Yes and from Weds I could have got a no faults divorce!

Well why were you keen to hide his faults?

The faults were mine

If he got home late I’d throw his dinner at him.

I wondered why you had so few plates.

I lied about him to the neighbours

Lying is hard when we forget which lie we said to whom,

I told them he beat me

Did he?

I beat him.

At what?

Chess

That’s not cruelty

It was to him

But he could have taken lessons

In what?

Being a good loser

To your own wife?

Well he was very sarcastic

He said for someone from the poorest street in Lancashire to have got into Cambridge they must have thought I was black

God’s little hands

The  branches of the tree  reach out like  hands
The hands of children trusting in their need
Beseeching me to notice their demands

On the sea shore, ghosts of children stand
By gasping waves. where  fishing boats made speed
The  branches  bend out like   god’s little hands

In microcosm, in miniature on land
In macrocosm where the planet bleeds
Beseeches us to  answer earth’s demands

The suck of surf, the prayer of shingle sound
Where  rough plants  fill  the shorelines with their seeds
While  branches  reach out like   god’s little hands

Look stranger  at this island, hear its sounds
The sea birds here, the robin in the weeds
Beseeching man to notice their demands

Prayer  is less important, it’s these needs
Demanding ,without bitterness, our deeds
The  branches of the  trees, the golden strands
Tell us, humankind ,their  last demands

 

 

 

I am the earth

It’s frosty and I found my knit wool skirt
It’s purple heather Northern, long and warm
I remember falling down some steps
Stone,they were ,you took me in your arms


With you standing staring on the edge
Oh, Cleveland Hills that make a cliff like fall
We drove the A 19 at deep sunset
The profile of the hills stood out,they called

They ,like Langdale, speak myself to me
My soul awakes with joy to cliffs of sight
Rejoice, oh psalmist, sing your rhapsody
From deep darkness to the morning light

I am the earth, my body will lie here
From Arnside’s Viaduct to Buttermere

I love you like

 I love you like I'd love a black walnut.
You're so rare I can't eat you.
I'll put you in my pocket
and take you with me
when I go in town
I'll feel your crinkles and your wrinkles,
But nobody will know.

I love you like I'd love a comice pear.
I'll put you in a golden bowl.
I'll let the sun shine on you,
Till you are ripe.
I'll put you in my bag,
Take you to a meadow of buttercups
And devour you.
And nobody will know.

I love you like I'd love a flower.
I'll give you my best vase.
I'll stand it in the window.
Then I'll look at you all day
With my peripheral and my central vision,
Till your pattern is embedded in my brain.
I'll sleep well and dream of you all night.
When I'll wake up ,I'll remember everything

Free at point of service

I wonder if I can write
the sort of poems
that the eliterati produce,
after reading the
London Review of Books,
while cooking a Rick Stein recipe,
drinking gin and tonic,
or French wine,
and serving a ten course meal
to Nigella Lawson and Charles
Saatchi
that leaves her gasping
in the most elegant yet sensual manner
her tongue flickering like an adder
across her glossily carpeted scarlet lips
while her cleavage looks as tempting
as my mother’s lovely breast did when I
was but an infant in arms.
That’s enough of that,The Editor.
signed X
[Books are not us……….has noone told you
We’re alive,alive………..we’re alive.Thsnk God]
I think I can probably bring in Heisenberg
and my cat;I read The Listener;
Weren’t those the days,
Ah, for just one of them now.
Anyway in Dirac’s space there are four dimensions
…….I can feel for him..
I’m almost four dimensional in my living.
I could feel myself
Looking down on my sister from the ceiling
And thinking,Is that me?
Am I who?
However I descended again after some sleep,
And I made some earl grey tea.
It was very grey;
possibly i did not let it brew for long enough.
Thst’s the main question in life;
When is enough enough?
What is exactly the right time for action
And reaction?
Judgment,timimg,execution’
That sums it up.
Tea is quite wet,luckily..
I’m parched with the literati,
The clitorati,
The flitorati,
And the fitorati.
All we wait for now is notoriety.
Tempus fugit.
Sobriety.

Reluctant sun

E

Black against light sky
Bright flowers blown ; bare branches now
Reach beseechingly.

Reluctant sun hangs
Sending thin light and pinkness
To clouds sleek as cats

Now paling, blue grey,
I see mauve dying into dark
Night sky edges in

The blackness awaits;
Dreams dangle like stringed balloons
A new born gurgles

How full the holly!
Forsythia large and darker,
Birds shelter wisely

Oiling the agenda  and the wheels

Fidgeting is exercise of sorts
Shouting words that are considered coarse
Sex is better standing on your head
Gravity is better than your bed.

Skipping classes, running out of milk
Jumping in alarm, or clicking links
Walking out on lovers in a rage
Stalking those whose worth you cannot gauge

Printing errors, boiling over milk
Washing up your shirt if it is silk
Oiling the agenda and the wheels
Covering up our nerves with rolling steel

Helter skelters, slides and rolling balls
Having rows that drive me up the wall.
Fidgeting and tapping on a board
Kicking habits, tripping over cords

Playing on my feelings with your airs see
Keeping lustful men upon the stairs
Sitting on the loo and crawling out
Menstruating monthly, drinking stout

Poring over maps with ruined eyes
Keeping up, rotatating all your toes
Feeling lively touching up your walls
Churning out Epistles for St Paul

Movement keeps us going as we bathe
Diving through the deep green of a wave
Counting shells and mines and heads of cod
Making kippers,salting fishing rods

Writing letters on a sweatshirt front
Writing me ,advising who to haunt
Making fountain pens to write with ink
Letting rubber boots dry in the sink

We can’t keep still ,so mindfulness is bad
Until the end when all are mindful dead

Phone message

Sorry our house may be bombed today do don’t leave a message

Hello I am a friend of your sister

We took a short break in Moscow but our money is running out

Can you help me,?

My name is Putin, Vladimir

Could you do a bank transfer?

I’ll send you one from Kiev

I was diagnosed with extremely low Vit D in October

Less-than-optimal levels of the sunshine vitamin, can spell trouble for your memory and moods.28 Aug 2019

For 6 months I have had no treatment.

This Causes brain fog tiredness

Depression anxiety and insomnia

Just what I need on my birthday NOT

Mam

By Katherine

I remember mother’s beauty and her coal stained and cracked hands
Each little line was etched in black, like a map to other lands
She always wore an apron that she made from an old dress
How I loved my mother,I did I must confess.

I remember mother’s beauty and the row of nappy pins
She always wore them like a brooch, while we kids made a din
The baby had her rusks and milk, she had a little pot
She slept inside a cradle then she moved into a cot

I remember most Mam’s cooking, the apple dumplings steamed
The kettle too sat on the fire , I played and then I dreamed
She had a tin of buttons, she was ace at making clothes
She knitted like an acrobat to forget her many woes

Her daddy was a miner till he had a heart attack
He came home black and dusty, then he filled his old tin bath
When he retired he got a dog, he loved her very well
He called her Lassie for her name, she was beautiful , my belle

Her daddy came to see us after our own daddy died
He helped our mother with odd jobs, then we all ate scones and cried

Mea Culpa

Made from my photo

Can’t anyone makebPutin’s get panic attacks?

If I were a panic I’d go now.On by the wings of a dove

Don’t be manic about your

panic. What brings calm but loving arms?

Play it slow,reduce the blow

Don’t shut down. Share my frowns

I felt so weird.It’s his damn beard

What?

My photo

Would you like a massage?

I’ve never cooked one yet.

Could you use a banana?

I need a hammer for this job.

Would you like a packed lunch?

It will take more than lunch to get a pact signed.

Why does corn flake?

It thinks it’s snow

Why do blood vessels narrow?

To make themselves thinner.

How do you spell artery?

Good guess.

Why is this a bad time for sex?

We don’t need them in South Africa

What is a plateau?

The female form of platoon

So how about cartoon?

The masculine form of cart

How about the eau?

Leave it off.

Why

I drank it

Hope the cartwheels were clean.

Do stop panicking.

Where is he?

With Mrs King.

Your help to come

I did this

Cats raised from the dead free

with every bag of nuts

.(£54)

Cods rose to heaven.Getting new

stock on the First Friday of May

Sadness preventative advice.

Love your neighbour daily

Cats claws cut on Sundays

Minced sticklebacks on sale at

the back of the Hospital now

Roads gritted every June.

Talking cats here when Bojo

resigns owing to psychosis.

English as a second language for

cats or mules.

How to believe in Love

The clinic

My photo

So why do you dislike that Clinic

There were two dead cats in the Waiting Room.

What were they waiting for?

And the floor was dirty.

I’m not surprised.

The doctor looked at the computer all the time

I’m afraid they do.

But it wasn’t on.

Shortage of power already?

No, he hadn’t put the plug in.

One of those dreamy intellectuals

Do they read the Sun?

Are you sure he was the doctor?

He was the only person in the room.

He could have killed the doctor and hidden the body

Where?

In the Waiting Room !