If the hundreds of people from the USA reading my blog today continues I will close the blog temporarily

Mary sat in her living room crying virtuously and feeling lonely.

Emile her clever cat ran out of the door into the front street and went round to Annie’s their lovely yet frightful neighbour.

You’d better come round; mother is crying, the poor animal moaned picturesquely

Annie  was wearing a purple jumpsuit with green suede boots and their matching green scarf round her neck. Not leather but wool the leather might bebetter in the rain!

She followed the small but strong  cat into the bijiu house next door and immediately went into the kitchen to put the electric kettle on

Who is that said Mary thoughtfully?

It’s only me cried Annie kindlily

Whatever is the matter, Mary? Emile’s  so worried about you

Oh it’s stupid but I’ve just got a letter saying my ultrasound scan is tomorrow and I really don’t feel like going

Would you like me to come with you?

Well that would help but you see I’m worried because…..

I’ll let you in to a secret

All these UTIs have made my bladder weak and I’m worried that I won’t be able to go there with a full bladder

Well why don’t you go to the loof first?

No you can’t because the ultrasound scan of the bladder does not work unless it is fairly full because if it’s not full all the other organs crowd it away. That sounds rather odd like animals in the jungle….

But they also look at the kidneys as well and that’s both in that case or even if the bladder doesn’t show up on the scan it will certainly be able to examine the kidneys. And I won’t be able to wear my jumpsuit because I wouldn’t like to have to take that off in a room full of technicians and medical people

Well it’s like everything in life we need some advice so why don’t we ring 999 and ask Dave the paramedic to come round to help us with our discussion and see if we can give any good advice

In 10 minutes they heard the ambulance coming down the street with the siren blaring.  In ran Dave the paramedic wearing a pinstripe suit made of pure silk and wool and underneath it he wore a large pink bra stuffed with useful items that he couldn’t carry in his pockets in case it spoiled his suit

Mary  you shouldn’t keep everything to yourself so much because lots of people have to have ultrasound scans

You don’t have to get undressed if you wear elastic waisted trousers.

You can get some very nice incontinence pants in Toots the pharmacy you could even wear two pairs of them and if the worst comes to the worst then if you wet yourself it will be an opportunity for the staff to show how kind and understanding  they are. Maybe they will send you home more quickly in urgent transport and not make you wait for three hours or more like they did the last time you went to hospital,

I will see if I can pop by depending on my duties tomorrow.

Annie thought to herself I wonder if Mary is really worried about wetting her pants or is it she’s worried about whether she’s got cancer or some other mysterious disease. After all you can change your knickers and your trousers but you can’t change your organs easily especially when you are a very  very old person.

She made some lovely hot coffee and they all sat around the fire looking at photo graphs of North Norfolk which Stan had taken on their last holiday in Ringstead. Mary still missed Stan very much

Why am I not on the photographs mewed Emile the little  yet clever vcat?

Well that was before you were born Mary told him gently because if you had been here we would have taken you with us like we did our first cat Benjamin to  Brancaster

Well that’s giving me idead Dave cried

Why don’t we arrange a holiday in North Norfolk and I can drive you and Emile can sit next to me in a basket strapped to the seat

Oh that sounds a wonderful idea Mary cried joyously

It will be nice to have some future plan to think about rather than just  day to day worries of health and foods etc

Annie said why don’t we go to Wells next the sea

Yes that’s a very nice place with a shop that sells real Guernsey and Aran sweaters

Now everyone’s got central heating not many people want them but they’re very good for folk going out in boats to see the seals near Sharingham.

Well maybe we could go out in a boat and see the seals Annie answered him as she picked up the coffee cup to take them back to the kitchen

Mary realised that worrying was using a lot of her energy and if they were going on holiday she could spend the time planning her wardrobe as advised by Good hmGousekeeping fashion page

Until Mary  had read this magazine she had never thought that anyone would buy a special wardrobe just to go for a week’s holiday but apparently they do even when they’re not going to somewhere exotic hot or very, very cold like the Arctic circle

I think Annie will have to go up to Wigan to buy some of that makeup that they’re specializing in up there because she will want to buy eyeshadow and blusher to match the coastal colours of blue mauve gray pink and the sunshine colors of spring like the Hawthorne blossom on the hedges by the coast road running from King’s Lynn to Cromer

Well at least it seems that Mary has got something else to think about and the other two will enjoy it whereas Emile om may find it rather hard but he can always travel in someone’s pocket or a special bag

Is there such a thing as a cat rucksack?

Mary is good with her hands so perhaps she will make one un start a new trend

And so will some of us!