I saw my level path turn steep and dark

I saw a tunnel black without a light

I hesitated wondering how to stop.

But seemed intent on death or sudden flight.

No human being held out a warm hand

They left me all alone in anguished pain Yet how should I in that state right decide

What was best for me, what made a claim?

The golden warmth like clouds from rising sun

Wrapped me all around till we were one.

There was no speech ,no person and no blame

No demand, no order, love remained.

Beyond despair I found this unknown care.

A sheet of tears ran down my poor face bare.

On the shelf I found a prize I won

I came out first in an old school exam

They rewarded me with this book I revered

Catholic prayers, a manual of fear.

Its pages edged in gold, it’s very swish.

Maybe I should stand this in a dish.

I would put it on the table when I ate

And read a prayer to keep me out of date

I look inside and see the latin verse.

It moves my heart remembering, rehearsed.

I liked the latin ritual and the hymns

But not the constant emphasis on sin

I thought it was my fault that daddy died.

The weight of all the world was multiplied

I think I’ll put the prayer book in a drawer

I don’t want to see it anymore

Latin is no longer used in church

Once  it was the way we kept in touch.

Now everything’s in turmoil nothing lasts.

I wish the past would stay right in the past.