Mary was feeling very unwell when the phone rang. It was a former colleague of hers who asked her how she was. But she didn’t want to tell anyone she was ill with covid-19
Oh I am grieving for my sister, Mary told her untruthfully but firmly.
You have never mentioned your sister before.Were you close to her?
Oh no. I wasn’t close to her I just like grieving for people that I’m not close to, don’t you?
Mary I think you are being sardonic. I’ve never heard you speak like that before. What has come over you?
Am I really being sardonicJust think that you can be sardonic without even knowing it.
I don’t believe you Mary You know what it is I am sure you do.
Well you can know something and practice it without necessarily knowing the name or knowing that there is a name for it
Suddenly she realized that everything that has a name now must have been experienced by human beings before the name was given to it and it was they who had invented a name for it
We don’t know what it will be in another language like Italian or German either
Annie came running in lb into the kitchen wearing some green trousers and a purple top. She had no makeup on at all which is very unusual for this dear lady.What was wrong with her? Could you be about to change gender?
Mary are you feeling better? Who are you talking to? Anything exciting?
Oh it’s Leonora do you remember her? She used to teach in Huddersfield polytechnic where I took a course in algebraic mythology.
Don’t be ridiculous if you wanted to learn algebraic mythology you would have gone to East Barnet University. How Annie got this idea is a mystery since she is a very uneducated and thoughtless person but who knows? Some people become more intelligent as they get older especially if they wear a lot of makeup filled with dangerous chemicals.
Well never mind I can’t remember where I met her but she is very clever and she’s just come back to this country from Australia
Well she must be short of company if she’s phoning you now after 20 or 30 years of absence. Was she in fact a colleague of yours?
How can you say something so rude to me? I am stunned
Oh I’m sorry Mary. I am feeling depressed at the moment and sometimes that can make me cruel.
I forgive you because I’ve known you for many years al. I know chronic pain can make people behave badly as well in fact there’s a higher risk of suicide for those people. But in the current political climate we’re all at a higher risk of suicide or murder.
Why are you feeling so depressed, do you know? Of course that is the thing we often don’t know why we are depressed and that is what is so horrible about it because we don’t know what to do.
Is it just a chemical reaction that’s gone wrong in the brain or is it some indication that we are locking for a deep meaning to our lives or maybe we just hate the society we’re living in especially the newspapers.
I’m not sure perhaps it’s the spring sunshine that can bring on seasonal ineffective disorder.
Well I will say goodbye to Leonora and I will make you a lovely cup of tea in the kitchen with Emile. He will be thrilled to see you with your purple lipstick and your green eye shadow which had mysteriously appeared by themselves on Annie’s face. Free at the point of contact just like the nhs
Mary I’m so fortunate to have you as my friend.
Some people would never speak to me again if I was rude to them
Well we should never jump to conclusions especially . And this is a very minor offense that you have committed compared to what politicians do every day but even our politicians here are nothing like so bad as Ronald Stump
According to the Times readers we have to become resilient and not let things affect us but unfortunately they don’t say how.
Well we can talk about that while we have our tea
I’d rather talk about fashion really I believe yellow is the color for this year
Oh for God’s sake Emile cried. I hate the colour yellow except on flowers and the sun but I do not like women wearing yellow clothing.
Emil you are just a cat but you are very wise so we will talk about something else altogether namely what we shall have for our supper.
I’d like sardines on toast,the cat purred
Then I will do the washing up for you
I want to wash my fur tonight
Your wish is my command Mary cried
Thus it did transpire
What the two women ate is a total mystery
Send your ideas on a postcard. You might win 10 pounds for the the best suggestion on the other hand you may not win anything at all because I’m too tired to think about it
To be sardonic is to be disdainfully or cynically humorous, or scornfully mocking.[1][2] A form of wit or humour, being sardonic often involves expressing an uncomfortable truth in a clever and not necessarily malicious way, often with a degree of skepticism.[3]
Irony is a term for aaa@A figure of speech.[1] Irony is when something happens that is opposite from what is expected. It can often be funny, but it is also used in tragedies. There are many types of irony, including those listed below:
Socratic irony, when someone (usually a teacher) pretends to be stupid in order to show how stupid his pupils are (while at the same time the reader or audience understand the situation).
Cosmic irony, when something that everyone thinks will happen actually happens very differently.
Situational irony e.g. Mr. Smith gets a parking ticket. This is ironic because Mr. Smith is a traffic warden.
Verbal irony is an absence of expression and intention. Sarcasm may sometimes involve verbal irony.
Irony of fate is the misfortune in the result of fate or chance.
The difference between of things seem to be or reality.
In Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet, Juliet takes a potion that will put her to sleep, making her look dead. She does this in the hopes of being reunited with Romeo. He incorrectly learns of her death, and kills himself. This is an example of dramatic irony, as the reader/viewer knows she is not dead, but Romeo does not.
A common example of cosmic irony could be that a child wants some kind of pudding, and misbehaves to try to get it. The parent withholds it because of the child’s behavior.
Verbal irony can be found in sarcasm, but not just that.
In Sophocles‘ play Oedipus Rex, Oedipus acts out based on the knowledge of his fate which in turn leads to the fulfillment of the tragic fate. This is an example of how fate plays on irony.
You stabbed my heart when I was left alone Telling me my writing was like porn Now you give me nightmares, be my pest We all need one or two,and you confessed
My writing is so bad, you envy not Did I hit you on a painful spot? If others have a gift, that is their call You have yours , get out a net and trawl
Ambivalent in love which turns to hate We wound ourselves in making this our fate Talking overmuch lets such thoughts out As tea will pour down from a tilted spout
The ancient virtues,patience and restraint Shall be our wise protectors when distraught
How my heart sings 