In favour of living in our bodies

I felt very weary after visiting the hospital on Tuesday and they decided not to give me the treatment that they’ve been threatening me with.

Because if you’re not  very well  it can be dangerous.

Nevertheless it was a bit disappointing and yesterday I was feeling very low

In the late afternoon a man came to the door with a parcel from Amazon and he realised how I felt and he said to me something which if it’s said in the wrong way can make you feel worse.

Keep smiling

But the way that he said it was very sympathetic or empathetic so I knew he was not trying to make me pretend to feel better so I wouldn’t upset other people.

No he wanted me to understand that if you smile it can make you feel better.

And in one of the newspapers this morning it sounds that a trial is being carried out in some part of London to see whether watching funny movies can help depressed people more than medication might and it seems there is some evidence for this.

But what interest me is that I have received more kindness from people like this delivery man who look quite poor and do not have the best kind of winter clothing etc

I find some highly educated intellectuals are very cold and the unable to relate to other  let alone to make you feel better.

I wonder if the more abstract  and intellectual your mind becomes, the less you are able to feel the reality of other people and to convey that to them non-verbally.

It’s partly to do with living in your body and being in your body not just in your head

I discovered this when I was helping a lady of 99 with dementia. If I wasn’t present in my body I could not get any response from her at all but when I was it made a tremendous difference.

Instead of swearing at me and calling me names she eventually told me that she loved me and that meant a lot to me more than if someone else might have said it because I think it was very hard for her to say that. At one point she begged me to kill her and when I said I couldn’t she told me I was a coward

I think a lot of it was due to boredom and inactivity and lack of conversation she said to me that each day seemed like a whole year. She didn’t have reading glasses with her I don’t even know whether she had her name but all she had was a television but I don’t think she was watching it much.

I think boredom is very difficult to live with when you are unable to walk about and go out and do things and we don’t realize how hard it is not to be able to do such simple things