It’s not only untidiness

Strange how many random heaps of clothes and other oddments

Turn into a sinister hiding place for something feared yet unknown

Why is it so, why not a hope of joy if something magnificent hiding?

I do not know I cannot tell you

There’s always a fear that the mother you’re looking for is a black witch with fangs

Yet you can’t give up hope.

And yet there is fear

So do not criticize my house when you visit me because you do not know the terrors I live with

you do not know how brave I am to be alive

Living with these monstrous possibilities.

Like how a bedroom in the dark becomes a stage for terror or horror

And the creaks on the staircase terrify you as you go to sleep bringing you up after the deepness into a startled alertness.

Something is coming slowly and surely for you and you will not survive

Yet in the daytime we go on living as if everything is normal

This is normal

I must be vigilant because somewhere sometimes some day the monster will return

I must not be taken by surprise again.

Even the faces of loved ones can turn evil in the night in the darkness and we have to cling to the end of the bed and keep breathing until the dawn breaks

And it’s so late in this midwinter seaso

how darkness fells us

How the uncertain sun rises reluctantly into the new year

And we hope for something good

Make a much shorter to-do list! 15 quick, simple ways to avoid overwhelm

Surrender to the chaos

For me, the thing that keeps the overwhelm at bay most of the time is not to be organised – I just prioritise what is important and wing it! Gone are the days of batch cooking, constant cleaning, organising and planning; I no longer have the energy. The house is a mess most days, but my kids are clean, fed and prioritised. Me-time is back, whether it’s with a nap, binge-watching TV or taking a walk in nature. I’ve learned to surrender to the chaos and enjoy what really matters. Sarah Ryan, Cork, Ireland

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jan/01/make-a-much-shorter-to-do-list-15-quick-simple-ways-to-avoid-overwhelm?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Jesus never wished to be adored.

20953002_977972015676010_7152312224405674898_n.jpg

Image by Katherine

We spent 10 years a -wandering Southport Beach
You may wonder how but I don’t teach

I went to Sinai just to have a look
Now it is in Egypt . bless my boots

The Bedouin people have not found a home
In the deserts of my heart, they roam

I washed my dishes in some water cold
They are greasy but I’m going blind

Would you vote for leaving Asia next?
Brexit has put patience to the test

Are we in New Zealand’s trading zone?
We could cut the cord and be reborn

I read the Times and leave a comment too
To be quite clear I asked them , is I you?

The Bread that is so sacred feeds the poor
Jesus never wished to be adored.

I saw a beggar lying on the ground
I gave him my down coat, was that unsound?

I thought I’d go out on the River Thames
But then I went to Kew to make amends

The Inquisition, torture and then death
Jesus would be shattered by this mess

Don’t we pay the Hebrews for their Scrolls?
They told the stories , made the Bible whole.

All of Europe forced to go to Mass
Those unwilling, burn them up like grass

I hated sermons for men gave no clue
How to do in practice what they knew

I made some salad green and ate it all
The slugs and snails are looking up appalled

English grammar is no use to me
I want to go to Norway and catch flu

I made a rule :it is a sin to pee
Like sex and drugs and eating from my shoe

Why not work out what we’re made to do?
Making babies may be the real clue

Getting mystic, lying on the lawn
Is that a cat that bit me on the arm?

I fear my cat has grown her claws yards long
If she liked my boyfriend, she’d grow fangs

When in Egypt do not speak in code
They invented it to please the Lord

Do you long for marmalade in bed?
The duvet’s bitter orange matching bread

My husband phones when I’m asleep
I can’t pick it up, so it is cheap

Wandering in the Estuary of the Ribble
Stand on Sinking Sand and play the fiddle

If Britain travels like the great Titanic
Boris Johnson will sell us our own Panic

If you see a Polar bear at night
Take a photo followed by swift flight

I’d like to phone my husband but he ‘s gone
Get BT to lay a line for one.

I don’t believe in mourning over-long
I’ll soon be dead myself and feel the prongs

Grief is free for all of us on Earth
It hurts like Hell and makes the World seem cursed

Good night my little cat and my tame snails
I’m off soon to New Zealand with my tales

Fish dancing with the daffodils

I flindered lokely as a louse
That sleats on high o’er piles and phrills,
When at a seance I saw a fowl
The ghost, of hilden waffotills;
Depide the bike, Coneath the blees,
Pluttering and strancing in the frieze

Conpentred as the shores did pont
And swondleon the mokiway,
They briched in never-blinding stine
Along the gargins wovt a rey:
Ten thousand jaw, I after flounce,
Wessing their shids in glightly spance.

The Daves deside them panced but loy
Out-did the sparkling waves in schlee
A waite could not clutt ie glay
In juch a ferund timpanee:
I glazed- and jazed- but little ploat
What gealthy wasps shrew thlee had cloght:

For poft, when on my louch i pi
In racane or in trensive slood,
They flush upon that innard plie
Rich is the blass of molitude;
And then my tart with leisured gills:
Fish dancing with the daffodils

Mary writes

The Pilchards.23,Sweetnames AvenueKnittinghamNear Nottingham.England

Dear Jane

Hope you are keeping well in this unusually cold spring weather.Stan has had flu.It made him so bad tempered and waspishthat I took up the Duraglit polish and got him to polish all the brass,except the front door knob, as that doesn’t come off.Mind you,it made the bedroom smell odd… a mistake,perhaps…so I sprinkled lavender oil around.He seems to get thinner and I seem to get fatter.So our average w eight remains constant.What a relief.I’d like to be weighed as a married woman.Can you believe this..I’ve got chilblains! It’s those dratted blood vessels of mine.Still,I polished some old plum colored leather and wear them in the house.We seem to be doing polishing frequently here.. boots,furniture,apples.How is your new book “Nonsense:A.N.Whitehead and Lewis Carroll” coming on?Hope it’s progressing….to a nonsensical ending.I’ve got a new book of poetry coming out in April[from Polar bears publishers]It’s called,”An unpolished performance.”My fourth book on Wittgenstein’s cats is almost finished.And the publishers can’t wait for the photographs…I’ll get a friend to do those for me!!It gives me a change from all that polishing.I’ve begun to talk to myself out loud…. in the street.Just seeing if I can still do my old Lancashire accent.I suppose it might worry people but no one has said anything as yet.They may be afraid.”That which is unsaid can,nevertheless,still be heard.Stan is still involved romantically with Anne, our next door neighbor.I can’t blame him as chilblains and Wittgenstein not very romantic.When I think of how we used to be,it makes me smile and feel sadness too.I wonder if I can find someone new for a romance,myself… someone with Asperger’s syndromepossibly…as I’ve just been diagnosed.It’s quite common in mathematicians.It may be anadvantage in concentrating a lotI need a boyfriend with weak eyes as my clothes are all full of moth holesand I’m damned if I’m going to buy new ones.I can’t see well enough to darn but I’ve sewn the holes up neatly thusgiving a strange pleated effect to my clothes.On my merino wool knitted trousers, one hole was right on the ass.It looks now as if I’ve been shot in the rear…but I can’t see it.So it does not exist.Sometimes in the past I would iron on those motifs likebutterflies…butI think it would look odd having a butterfly just there…. or indeedanything else like wild rose.I could make a little sign saying”Keep clear,from my rear.This is a hole where a moth scored a goal.”Still,not many people are going to look there now I hope….I seem to have stopped knitting but am still drawing.Meantime I’ve just ironed some of my winter clothes as it’s still chilly..and am planning to iron all my pink and blue knickers nowas I believe it kills any germs left when you wash at 30 deg.I got those colours in case I shouldchange sex or is it gender?I wonder if I should iron the sheets?Could I do it while they are on the bed?I don’t wash them much as it wears them out and me too.I am going to take up baking again because Stan is getting so thin.I fancy a Russian cheesecake as it had a lot of protein in it.I have a genuine Russian cookbook and also am waiting for a delivery of aJewish cookery book as I have lost mine..no it fell down onto my head last week.God only knows where that came from.but I believe there were good cheesecakes as Jewish cooking has much incommon with Russian,perhaps because once many Jews lived in Russia.I justmade friends with one here….he is charming and like me he hates golf.I have got almost all the Penguin cookery books ever printed but mislaid afew.In fact it’s quite hard to get into the kitchenwith all these books on the shelves.And a little food.I was comforted to read that the parent’s of John Burra,the artist,had books piled every where in their large house….and he was very untidy too.So all I need is talent and practice and I’ll be an artist.After all,anyone can be untidy but not everyone will practice their Art.I’d like to practice the arts of love.They say you should love your neighbor as yourself,but personally I prefer the neighbor or even the milkman to myself.Meanwhile I’m happy with Emile our catand my 500 photos of Wittgenstein.I shall make Stan a lemon sponge pudding.That is the love he wants…Food.”If music be the food of love I’ll cohabit with a pure white dove.
And while he coos and sings for me.
I’ll try not to :fall out of the tree,
Get stung by a bee,
Have psychotherapy
Make more enemies,
Let my thought free,
Hurt my knee.
Let moths frighten me.Well,time for some tea.Now Jane, please write to me soon.I love to see your so strangely beautiful handwritingand to hear about Whitehead and Cambridge and all the weird dons.I hope it’s not too damp and cold there near that river.Keep warm and make a note of any intriguing happenings to relate to me.And anything beautiful you can see or hear.I hope Edward is writingregularly..where is he doing his research now… did you say Stanford?Maybe you should install Skype..then again,perhaps not as you would have towash your hair too much… and comb it too…perhaps we could wear wigs.Do write soon,Love always,Mary.

 
I wish I were an apple I wish I were an apple
and you were eating me
I’d like to make you happy
As you sat by this tree.
I wish I were a blackbird
So I could sing for you.
I’d like to make you cheerful
And stop you feeling blue.
I wish I were the sun
So I cold warm your frozen heart.
And then your heart would melt for me
And you would be less tart.
I wish I were the moon
so I could protect you all night long.
But being only me may I
Present you with this song?Why 1.Why is denim now a sign of conformity not rebellion?
2.Where are the best jeans from?
3.Should you wear “double denim”?
4. Why is denim too hot for summer and too cold for winter and yet we wear it anyway?
5.Why don’t most people wear winter coats nowadays?
6.Why are the shops so hot they make one feel sick
7.How shopping makes me feel sick and other ways of saving money.
8.Why did the Russians have the best novelists?
9.Is 8. true?
10.Is life worthwhile?
11.What does 10.mean
12.Who can come up with the best ideas for small talk?
13.Food processors…are they a good thing to own?
14.Did you see the second version of Dr Zhivago?
15.Why is Russian Orthodox liturgy so moving?
16.Have you been to Walsingham?
17.Do you like day trips on a coach?
18.Why is fish and chips our national dish.
19.Why is roast beef our national dish.
20.Do other nations have fish and chips?
21 Is rapeseed oil any use for chip frying?
22.What an odd name rapeseed is.
23.Did Einstein eat chips?
24.Is your skin sensitive?
25.Why do women wear deodorants but men don’t usually bother?
25.Do you need suncream in the winter?
26.How many grains of sand are there on Brighton beach?
27.Why is the sea at Hythe sometimes teal
28.Why are the Saxon cliffs in Kent a mile from the sea?
29.Can the Kent authorities move the cliffs back near the sea again.
30 Isn’t it odd that the railway line runs at the bottom of the cliffs near Folkstone as the tide might come up
as a train goes by?
31,Is this small talk?

I offer you my words and rhymes

I muttered as I spoke out loud

I wrote my diary, made my will

Then more than once the oak tree bowed

Unto the red brick cotton mill

Singing as I walked along

I lured the men folk from their dogs

I wonder if my acts were wrong

I sat down on the oak tree log.

Should we do what others want?

Should we please ourselves alone?

Should the foxes mankind Hunt

Kill us with a brick or stone?

Who should make the laws we keep

And who should try the criminal?

Do not let this harm your sleep

Or masquerade as liminal

I wonder lightly as I dream

Do not awake me with a scream

This year is perfect, it’s sublime

I offer you my words and rhymes