Sitting in an ambulance with your knees raised up too high.

Lurching through the traffic made me want to cry

I asked him for some water all they had was red bull beer.

I was too dehydrated to produce a single tear,

We saw the Northern suburbs0 were we going to Golders Green?

I thought we might see Jesus looking rather mean.

In my bright red handbag my phone began to ring.

I was feeling nervous so I nearly bit my tongue.

Hello my dear a woman said

We can’t see you today.

My appointment had been:been cancelled

I didn’t know what to say.

NHS unfunded do they want the Old to die?
Am I feeling anxious? Does a baby cry?

My brothers bought some jeans.

I was practicing the piano in the front room when they came in

Mum came home later.Screamed horror.

They bolted their bedroom door while I played Mozart

She took the axe and went upstairs

Then she hit the door. It wasn’t very strong wood

I can’t remember anything else but I got very good at playing the piano.

I don’t think I have the right sort of feelings.

https://www.spring.org.uk/2023/03/intelligence-and-anxiety.php#:~:text=Intelligence%20and%20anxiety%20may%20have,imagine%20what%20might%20go%20wrong.

Harold Bloom, Critic Who Championed Western Canon, Dies at 89 https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/14/books/harold-bloom-dead.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Ah,rebellious spirit wanting space

With my finger on the map I paced

I climbed Helvellyn, fell off Striding Edge

Spent a lifetime hanging off a ledge

Then there was reality to find.

Was it is in the world or in the mind?

I saw the water cascade down steep hills

Joy came through my eye without my will

I wish I was a school girl with my dreams

Life is good but love’s not what it seems

O

Joy sings now in golden light,

Then after day comes deep,black night.

New moon is rising by grey trees,

The earth is where I want to be.
I want the day,I want the night.
I want the dark.I want the light.
I want to see and to be seen,~
And not to lose my precious  dreams

The sun has set, grey clouds turn black,

The day just gone  will not come back.

I’ll rest in quiet reverie

Until the reaper’s scythe takes me.
And then I drop and mix with dust,
Till worms and beetles sate their lust.
And fall into ten thousand motes,
And dance, in sunlight,  music’s notes.

No more striving ,no more ambition

No more fighting,no competition.

Every particle’s the same

Without even  a unique name.
And, side by side, we all are one,
The lusts of life have been and gone.
We dwell with dirt and grain and sand
At last we’ve reached the Promised Land

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/feb/28/why-being-wrong-really-hurts?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Tenderly I held him took him in

As though we touched each other skin to skin

Dying is what everyone must do

Even when it splits the Me from You

What we took for granted every day

Had its end like any mortal’s play

The length of life is just enough to lie

It’s not here forever, don’t you cry

We are on no plateau but a slope

Slight at first, so we don’t see and note

Gently we are led to where it ends

Beautiful and foolish like ourselves

How can we be split when we are one?

In deep darkness dies the winter sun

Copyright © Katherine Braithwaite |

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So you are gone  who once declared your love
For that phantasm conjured in your mind
For onto me you brought down from above
A torment bitter and   some words unkind.

Used to  friendship from within your books

You did not understand that I was real
Irritation grew as you did look;
You threw your poisoned  arrows  at my heel.

What once you loved then you began to hate
If not perfect then intolerable I must be
And then you cursed me with this  sorry fate
Our child was born and him you’ll never see.

Illegitimate and born in desert grey.
I carried him alone from death’s dark way.