
Month: July 2023
A piece of wood
The little laptop is our Bible now
The scriptures are our blogs,the forums too.
The inquisition haunts on left and right.
Lord have mercy, give none second sight
Books are banned and messages retrieved
The neo nazis shout, the woke perceive
Banks are told,they must support free speech.
Nigel Garage bathesvon Dover beach
Hitler wants a blackboard,he will write
To all the world, as Satan’s taken fright.
The king has got a pay rise auntie’s billed
Satan strives once mote, the sin is will.
The academics writing books are sad
The students cannot read, the church is glad.
Can you trust your neighbours to be good?
Here is Jesus with a piece of wood
I pushed my sisters up our quiet street
I remember riding on his back
It was summer; I was only two
He had an old tweed jacket full of smoke
Woodbines, they would probably kill you too
Walking with my sister in her pram
Mam looked as happy as a summer lark
My brothers were pretending to be soldiers
We walked along, right into the deep dark
A few years later Dad was sat there crying
They never told me he was very bad
Eight years old, I pushed the baby
My sister walked while clutching at my side
I was worried Grandad would be angry
Seeing us three coming up the lane
We usually went there only at the weekend
On, on, on, went my brain
Going back home it was the evening
The sun had gone ,time to go to bed
I pushed my little sisters up our street
Auntie told me Daddy was now dead
No more rides on his thin shoulder
No more walking in the flowery park
Only the anguish of our feelings
Only children weeping in the dark
When I was 28 my husband bought me a tin of lavender wax polish for my birthday.I do love lavender
After 45 years of marriage I found he liked me mainly because of my beauty. Of course I’d never really thought I was beautiful
When I was recovering from a serious operation ,he said,
You are not very house proud, are you? I could hardly walk
When he was near death he slept a lot in an armchair by my side.One afternoon he woke up and said in a very loud voice:
You’ve got a brilliant personality.
Then he went to sleep again.
When we were first married we were out in the country.We were in a lane with steep grassy banks so we lay down at the top and rolled down!
He rarely noticed if I went to the hairdresser until I had my hair cut very very short.He was annoyed because when it was long he liked to brush it in the evening.He could have tickled me with a feather duster instead but he refused.I didn’t have a feather duster but I am sure I could have bought one.
He used to bring me a cup of tea in bed until he could hardly walk.
After I had an eye operation I had no glasses for 6 months and for 3 months I had gas in my right eye so it was blind.We were in the car, approaching a junction and he said,Which way do I turn? I said,talk about the blind leading the blind
Just after that a friend rang up and said she was very upset she had to wear glasses.How horrible .I couldn’t see. even with glasses.It made me learn how self centered we are
The grief of infants
Afghanistan, Iraq,Iran
Can “Democracy” be “forced” on them
Somalia,Yemen,Pakistan
The war on “others”, rights of Man
The grief of infants, war goes on
Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran
Made in Britain, torture ,gun
Electric, fearsome,profit, spin
Somalia,Libya,Pakistan
Europe, Jesus ,Vatican
Where does Revolution win?
Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran
Egypt,Palestine,Jordan
Old Man River,death and Sin
Libya,Yemen,Pakistan
From five or six or maybe ten
The Arts of War, the nuclear ban
Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran
Somalia,Yemen,Pakistan
Of little faith
The Bible as remembered when drunk
The still small choice
Samsung and Delilah
If only Eve had not bought an iPhone from apple
Yahoo punished Adam severely
Was Asus the son of God too?
God said, why are you here, you liar?
Elijah invented Intel,computers and chips. but not pizza
G-d on trial in Google Dock
I’ll be judge and I’ll be jury,said cunning old Fury
I have seen the Light on Google Drive
The Cloud of Unknowing is not a good place to save your poetry on.
He filed me under “wonder” on One Drive
One Drive,One G-d, One World
Where is Ogle Drive?
Yeshua did many lyricals.He was Leonard Cohen,we have found
Go over to Rome and be saved into the Angelic Host
He did raise my spirits but he didn’t say how manyxThe Bible as remembered when drunk
The still small choice
Samsung and Delilah
If only Eve had not bought an iPhone
Yahoo punished Adam severely
Was Asus the son of God too?
God said, why are you here, you liar?
Elijah invented Intel,computers and chips. but not pizza
G-d on trial in Google Dock
I’ll be judge and I’ll be jury,said cunning old Fury
I have seen the Light on Google Drive
The Cloud of Unknowing is not a good place to save your poetry on.
He filed me under “wonder” on One Drive
One Drive,One G-d, One World
Where is Ogle Drive?
Yeshua did many lyricals.He was Leonard Cohen,we have found
Go over to Rome and be saved into the Angelic Host
He did raise my spirits but he didn’t say how manyThe Bible as remembered when drunk
The still small choice
Samsung and Delilah
If only Eve had not bought an iPhone
Yahoo punished Adam severely
Was Asus the son of God too?
God said, why are you here, you liar?
Elijah invented Intel,computers and chips. but not pizza
G-d on trial in Google Dock
I’ll be judge and I’ll be jury,said cunning old Fury
I have seen the Light on Google Drive
The Cloud of Unknowing is not a good place to save your poetry on.
He filed me under “wonder” on One Drive
One Drive,One G-d, One World
Where is Ogle Drive?
Yeshua did many lyricals.He was Leonard Cohen,we have found
Go over to Rome and be saved into the Angelic Host
He did raise my spirits but he didn’t say how many
The lights go out
And the pure of heart will see right to
The beginning of the end of me and you
There are no men, the women look again
There’s something in the fire looks like my pen
But who can write when all the the lights go out?
The women are not women, the men are not about
The shadows dance with winds on lighted walls
The fire burns redder and the devils call
It’s hell in here, baby , keeping living just for you
Who knows what to do
With the pointed dancing shoe
Half a pair and the women cannot bear
Labour’s lost
Tell us what it cost
t
We lose ourselves in shadows and may fall.
Katherine March 7, 2017
The world is exists but I just wish to flee
The flowers come into bud but I can’t see.
The birds have built their new small nests again
Birds forget, but memory feeds our pain.
When I get trapped inside this mud black silt
I forget the tools my mind has lately built
Again it feels eternal and unkind
The sorrowing fills the endless realms of mind.
The mind helps us to mediate and muse
We need it to give weight to different views
But inwardness can build up dangerous walls
We lose ourselves in shadow and may fall.
The life within us will rise up again
If we can accept our mental pain.
Like refugees, we come to love alone

Underneath the shallow pools lies sand
Where shells are fractured by the ocean’s blows
We soon learn what being alive demands
To bare feet on sunny days beckoned
The warm wet trickles in between the toes
Underneath the shallow pools lies sand
In whose sums are human kisses kenned
Calculation, not so bleak it shows
We learn by pain, true living makes demands
God allows the abacus unchained
To sum us up as if we are unknown
Underneath the pools, are these his hands?
Who will be allowed and who detained?
Like refugees, we come to love alone
We try to be alive, despite the pain
Our hearts are fragile shells, not heavy stones
We, soft flesh, enraptured by framed bones.
Darkly on the beach we humans stand
The fretting waves cry out with love’s demands
I write well.yeah super Nell
What the hell,a villanelle!
It looks too hard for such as me
Still I will write ,yes,I write well
I have a story I can tell
It’s from the English who love tea
What a hell,oh villanelle
I saw a man with a sea shell
I asked him for a pod of pea
I write well.yeah super Nell
I often wonder if I smell
As I drink so much greenish tea
What’s s to tell ,my villanelle?
But worry makes life into hell
And it’s bad for those who see
I write well,but who can tell?
I must take much charity
If you ask, what is your fee?
What the hell oh villanelle
I write well but life is hell.
In good form

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/articles/74593/in-good-form
“A well-turned line, a sparkling rhyme: craft is essential to the art of poetry, writes Poetry editor Christian Wiman in the October 2012 issue. He explains:
The sound and form of the poem are everything; they buffet it against its hard journey through time and indifference. Or, to change the metaphor, they enable it to insinuate itself into the hard carapace of our consciousness, so that the poem’s “message”…won’t just bounce off the glaze of us. Craft matters because life matters. Craftless poetry is not only as perishable as the daily paper, it’s meretricious, disrespectful (of its subjects as well as its readers)….
Why do you think craft matters? Do well-crafted poems hit you harder and remain with you longer, as Wiman suggests? Why might poems devoid of craft seem disrespectful—perhaps because they demand our time without rewarding us with pleasure, insight, or staying power?
The most recent issue of Poetry provides plenty of fodder for such questions. It offers several poems in received forms, such as Joshua Mehigan’s sonnet “The Professor” and Elizabeth Seydel Morgan’s villanelle “September 2011.” And it features invented forms as well. Take Marie Ponsot’s “Private and Profane,” reprinted from a 1957 issue:”
How to Manage Defensive People – Lowering Defenses by Building Trust
I hope it’s a random sample

My doctor is God
Why can’t he heal you then?
God is my doctor
Where did he train?
The doctor wants a urine sample
I hope it’s a random one
The doctor wants to take my temperature
Where to?
The doctor says it’s a systemic infection
Can’t he install a new system in you ?
He wants me to take it easy
Fake it.
He talks in paragraphs
No, you idiot, parables!
My doctor is very odd
Get even with him somehow
Are numbers very odd?
Yes, the odd ones are even odder than the even ones
Are doctors real?
Yes, if you think they are.
Sea and sand


In a cotton dress by Morecambe Bay
On Arnside’s little beach below the Knott
I stand where sea and sand on my feet play
My feet enjoy the water, ripples,rays
I remember this, the waters fret
In a cotton dress in Morecambe Bay
We see the Barrow Train, the River flows
Feel the pebbles slippery,cool and wet
I stand where sea and sand on my feet play
As the sun sank, Grange and Cartmel glowed
The Priory’s ruins paid all beauty’s debt
I love my dress, in sun, in Morecambe Bay
My bony feet look thin, the water sways
I wish I could dissolve, skin holds me back
I stand where sea and sand on my feet play
Moments of great beauty guard the track
We may forget the sea shells splintered wrack.
In a cotton dress my mother made
I loved where sea and sand on my feet played
Mary at the bus stop

Mary stood at the bus stop in her chocolate wool winter coat which Stan had always loved very much.
It hangs so well, he had told her.
The optional imitation fur collar had been removed as she preferred natural garments made from wool with no ostentation.As a matter of fact, she has one of Stan’s woollen vests on under her gold silk top.Her hair fell in light blonde curls around her pensive face and her eyes looked as if she were seeing a mysterious vision of the Matterhorn in midwinter while on heroin.
Suddenly she realised the bus was there and she put her card up to the machine before looking for a seat.The bus was rather full so she sat down next to a youth with an i phone hanging from his hand.Suddenly it rang.His chosen theme was,
Please release me, sung by Tom Jones.
Mary smiled as, if she were near Tom Jones she would need no invitation to free him.The youth began to speak rather louder than normal.
Mary tried not listen but it was impossible.She was too hot as well.Wearing Stan’s vest was a mistake as the bus was overheated.She turned pink like a sunrise over ICI in Billingham for, perceive it or not, the pollution had a beautifying effect.
I’m sorry I wore your vest, she told Stan.
I should have given them away but I was trying to save money on heating.Still, I will be home soon.Oh,for some fresh tea.
Where’s your microphone, the youth demanded in a light voice?It must be one of those new tiny ones, I guess
A microphone? Mary said curiously.
Yeah, he cried.I assume your phone is in your pocket.
Actually, it’s in a pocket in my knickers, she informed him in a manner resembling that of a mildly dotty scientist.We used to wear these knickers in the gym at school.
Did you not wear a top? he enquired, his eyes running over her hourglass figure like pure rainwater water falling off High Force in Teesdale. in a summer storm.
Well.I didn’t have a bra until I got my grant to attend university,she told him sensitively.
Well, that’s news to me,he said.
So you had to wear a bra at University? That was before feminism,of course.Did you burn it later?
Certainly not, said Mary.I’d been longing for one but my mother didn’t seem to notice my development which was her way of coping with adolescent girls.Of course others may have noticed but they were too nervous to tell Mother I needed any support.We were all so shy and afraid.Anyway be quiet now, I want to speak to my husband.
Have you had your phone on all this time? he asked anxiously, worried about her bill.
No, I don’t need it to talk to him, she responded.
Why, where is he? the youth enquired sardonically.
He’s on my knee, Mary informed him.In this bag.She pointed to her hessian shopping bag.
I have just been to the Coop for him.I ought to have got a cab as he is quite heavy.
Jesus Christ, cried the youth, hastily pressing the bell before leaping off the bus into a small pond that had been created b Hurricane Desmond.He swam away into the cold night.
Well. that shut him up, Mary said to Stan.
Mary, don’t become less gentle and kind, Stan said in her ear.
I can’t be gentle now, she said.It’s a nasty tough world without you to help me and tell me what you think of Jeremy Corbyn.And do I need to have a roast dinner at Xmas or just some toad in the hole?
I am sorry, sweetheart he murmured.Maybe you need assertiveness training.
I’ll just get more aggressive, she replied.Micro-aggressive perhaps.
You’ll need more than micro in this era, he continued.Mary forgot to get off the bus and found herself in the Leisure Centre by the River Tranter
What about the river, Stan, she asked.
Would you like me to throw you in
.A policeman standing nearby ran over.
Madam is it suicide or murder, he asked her awkwardly.
No, it’s a life sentence, she said humorously as she put her hand up her skirt to get her phone.
That’s a silly place to keep your phone he said.
Anyway don’t call a cab, I can run you home in my car.Have you got any China tea?
I could kill for a hot drink.
I have some lapsang souchong, she told him.Do you fancy that?
I do ,called Stan from the bag.The policeman passed out.
I told you not to get a boyfriend yet, Stan continued to Mary.
I’ll do whatever I feel like, she said rudely.I could use a comforting arm around me.
Stan sobbed as only a holy soul can.
She said, quickly
Don’t worry.I’ll get Emile to sit on my knee.Goodbye, for now, darling.
Goodbye whispered Stan faintly.
Good bye…. goodbye….good bye…….

Love in a wheelie bin

Stan was in his front garden polishing the wheelie bins with lavender wax polish.
He was not very happy as the garden was only 10 feet by 12. so the huge wheelie bins ruined it.When he got to the third one the lid popped open and out jumped his next door neighbour “Adulterous Annie”.
Hello, Stan” she whispered.”Where’s Mary now ?”
“Why?” Stan muttered into the back of her neck which he licked as he like her salty taste.
“I was thinking, these bins are so big, we could both get inside one.It would make a change1!”.
”What a strange idea” he replied philosophically.however , age was no obstacle where love was involved. if you catch my drift.
Soon Stan and Anne were in the big green recycling bin.Stan being 81 had shrunk somewhat so he took up less space than Annie did.He allowed her to kiss his left eyelid.What a lovely feeling.
Alas, all too soon, as they say, they heard Mary’s bicycle bell.She was getting faster and faster.As she wheeled her bike up the 30-yard long front path to the porch she heard murmurings and mutters,
She lifted up the green plastic lid and saw the two lovers covered in cuttings from the privet hedge.
“What the bleedin’ hell are you doing in there?” she shouted mellifluously.
Well , it’s hard to explain,……………but Stan was wondering about a green funeral” Anne said mischievously.
“Funeral , my hat!” Mary said coldly.”Get out at once”
“Don’t speak to me like that” Stan beseeched her brazenly.
“Well ,it’s a shock to find your husband in the bin with another woman!”
“Wouldn’t it be more of a shock if he was in the bin with a man, or even a sheep?”
“Schmann or Schwommann, sheep,it’s immaterial.
“Hurry, get out, quickly before the school exit time.what will all the mums think as they go by?”
But poor Stan could not get out.He was stuck.Oh ,my! what an odd phrase.
“Have you got your mobile on you?”
“Yes, it’s here in my bag.
“You’d better call 999”
“What a brilliant idea!”
Soon, Dave, the paramedic arrived.
Mary showed him Stan’s situation.
Ever resourceful,Dave was not bothered though the NHS budget might be getting cut.
He tied some rope around Stan’s waist and between the three of them and Emile the cat and his friend Elizabeth, they managed to haul the poor man out.
Annie stood weeping with shame.Her silvery blue eyeshadow was beginning to run mixed with tears and black water soluble mascara from Chanel of Paris and London.
Her new coral lipstick from Clinique was not as non-allergenic as she hoped.Never mind, it gave her lips that bee stung look that many men admire.It reminded Stan of his boyhood days playing near High Force Waterfalls in upper Teesdale….
Teesdale ,still an undiscovered and undervalued part of England.
Contact the English Touring Board for more information. Holiday Loans available from Thwaites of Stockton and Darlington at only 1% interest.
Mary gave Annie a large Kleenex tissue,
”Come indoors,honey, and I’ll make you some Ceylon tea.It’s been the most thrilling event of my entire life and I’ve photographed you with my new Nokia camera phone
[Prices available on request from The Cat-phone Warehouse,Teesside ,Northern England, comes in pink and pink and…pink?How I love pink!]
I’m going to send some to the local paper.
Stan staggered upstairs covered in bits of privet ,lettuce and cabbage hearts, and carrot tops ,not to mention a few dozen banana skins and potato peelings.
What an afternoon.[Please contact the society for the care and protection of vegetables if you wish to make a complaint about this story.}
“That’s the last time I climb into a wheelie bin”, he thunked
“Next time we’ll use the cardboard and newspaper wheelie bin” he proclaimed to Emile.
Well, there;s no fool like an old fool,Emile miaowed
And so say all of us
Brother
Ah,brother I don’t want you to lie still
No blood to circulate,no thoughts,no will
No help,no humour.jokes no
sharp true eye
From our old shared pram,to live, to die.
I used to do your homework
late at night
Abstract thought to you was no delight.
You wondered over X and y and z
Preferred the shapes of Nature in your head.
I shall retain the memories of the good
You who taught me speech and hate and love
Not all narcissists are grandiose – the ‘vulnerable’ type can be just as dangerous
The tidal Thames
Images
At the edge of reverie and dream
In the dusk or dawn, the edge of life
We catch sight of images sublime
The fantasies, the daydreams, how they seem
Elusive yet eternal in their strife
At the edge of reverie and dream
Are they wishes we’re too scared to claim
Part of our own self, defensive, shy!
We catch sight of images maligned.
Prophecies of futures not yet seen
They tell a truth as they flow swiftly by
At the edge of reverie and dream
Life at these dusk times is slow and green
Aversive to the tempo of new times
We catch sight of images that stream
Can a writer catch this theme in rhymes;
Write it down in short and telling lines?
At the edge of reverie and dream
We fish up pictures from this image stream
Don’t be afraid

Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can die without your Father’s knowing it. 30 God even knows how many hairs are on your head. 31 So don’t be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows.
https://www.biblestudytools.com › …
Matthew 10:30-3
Dad’s smokey jacket

O
In my dreams I travel deep and low
Into the happy world of long ago
The jacket on the chair that smelled of smoke
The funny tales, he sang, he laughed, he spoke
So faint the memory yet ,strong are its remains
Security and love in our domain
The brushes and the stipplers all stood by
For noone told his tools that he would die.
On his shoulders, like a queen I rode
So safe and happy on the path he trod.
His voice was clear and he could whistle too
In those days men were used to do
And love shone from him on my mother dear
She laughed and made us cakes for Sunday tea
What tragedy to leave his children five
But in that distant space he is alive
The fire as red as any glowing rose
We were dressed so well in home made clothes
Too happy, needing no words to relate
Our sense of being in this generous space
I can’t get back to them I cannot swim
The passages too wet, the light so dim
Yet I feel it in my body faint and clear
Death is not the end of those so dear.
Deep inside our minds , ancestors live
And to out hearts a depth and breadth they give
Yet missing him,I hover near the place
Where I might dive into his lost embrace
The table where we banged our little heads
The chairs so close together like a bed
The teapot always full, the sugar bowl
The fire, the kettle , pussy cat and coal
The fireplace had its oven nice and warm
Looking at red coals made me feel calm
The children seem to play in that far space
And all around is love and on and on I gaze
I was born like this
My sister came to see me today.She said she’d forgotten the password for starting the car,so we gave it a few kicks and it started albeit reluctantly.I said,
You should have left the key in the ignition.So she said,
You’re out of date.
Do you mean out on a date,I queried anxiously,
We can’t get married ,she said
Why not,said I, what harm would it do?After all lesbians can marry,
But we’re not lesbians,she muttered.
Well, that is true,I riposted.What do you suggest?
Why should I suggest anything,she replied curtly.
Alright be like that,I said,I only came for the icecream anyway.
Sometimes I feel I am going mad.But mainly I know I was born like this and there’s not much I can do except go with the flow,if you get the drift.The race might not go to the swift after all but to the slow,
Emile weeps

“Is it time for coffee yet,”Stan asked himself.He had forgotten to put on his watch.
Suddenly he heard a shriek.He peered through a hole in the fence.His neighbour Annie was lying on her back in some mud.
“Hang on,I’ll come round!” he called.
There was a gate in the old fence which was rarely locked
since Annie loved to drop in on Stan.
“Oh,Annie,how are you feeling?” he asked her anxiously.
“Bloody annoyed.I’ve only just bought these,”Not your daughter’s jeans” and now I’ve torn them,” she replied politely.
“But you don’t have a daughter!” he informed her loudly.
“I know that.It’s just they are better cut for the mature figure.”
“Your figure is not mature.You are quite slender.my dear,” he murmured lovingly.
“Well,I never feel happy with it!” she said mutinously.
“Whereas I am very happy feeling it,” he responded romantically.
Tears came into her green eyes lined with purple eye shadow.Alas,it was not waterproof and purple rivulets ran down her cheeks across the peach blusher with which she had valiantly decorated herself earlier.
“Can you get up?” he asked tenderly.
“Yes, but it would be nice if you picked me up.”
He leaned over her and licked the purple streams of tears off her cheeks.
“I hope it’s not poisonous,” she murmured.
Then with the aid of Emile,he lifted her to her feet and helped her into her large trendy kitchen.
The kettle switched itself on as they entered and a robotic voice asked if they’d like coffee.
“God in heaven,what the hell is that?” he cried confusedly.
“It’s my new computerised hot drink maker.After that fall I think a double espresso would be good.”
Emile ran in and asked for coffee too.
“Emile,you usually have milk,”Stan reminded him softly.
“Well,coffee is a new taste for me but I like a little.”
the cat whispered sweetly.
“I’ll give you some of mine in a saucer,” Stan replied.
Emile began to sob.
“Why Emile,whatever is wrong?”
“I want a cup and saucer just like you” the cat howled.
But you have no hands,Emile,” Stan reminded him.
The poor cat was crying loudly now.So Stan rang 999.
“Can you please send the emergency ambulance round.the cat’s crying and all his hankies are in the wash.”#
Soon Dave,the transvestite paramedic appeared.
“I love your light teal and cream kitchen,” he informed Annie,
“And your eyes look like two deep pools in a coal mine.”
She slapped his cheek naughtily.
“Have a look at Emile” she ordered him sweetly.
He turned to the cat who was sitting on the dark pine table.
“Here,Emile,I got you some Kleenex for Cats in Sainsburys.” he said gaily.
“I want a real hanky,”cried Emile.Dave took a clean hanky from his own pocket and dried the cats tears.
“What made you cry.Are you feeling bad.”
“Yes,I want to go to Cafe Nero,” Emile mioawed.
“Who told you about that?”
“Another cat down the road has been and he said it’s lovely for people watching.”
“The town is not safe for cats like you,Emile.”
Dave urbanely replied,
“But when summer come I’ll take you to the out of town
Marks and Spencers.They have a cat’s coffee corner upstairs.”
“Wow,isn’t it amazing,”Stan wondered out loud.
So Dave poured out the coffee and they all sat down and
discussed Ray Monk’s Life of Wittgenstein.
Ray has discovered that Wittgenstein liked cats but as he moved around quite a bit,he never owned his own though Elizabeth Anscombe let him play with her three cats now and then.
We may all be different but most of us value the love of a good cat.Even boiling their hankies and ironing them is very nice.We all have this problem though.
Where can a cat carry his own hanky?
Do cats need shoulder bags?
What would Wittgenstein say?
(When he was dying he said
The police car outside

As Mary
ate her topside with green peas,she gazed out of the front window where a police car was parked.They had gone to speak to her neighbours.Her neighbours had 23
dogs and a dead cat .all in the back garden for recreation and making holes in fences or other places
When Mary had come home from the delightful dentist she had been attacked by 5 of the dogs on her own patio
who were bored with their own garden so has made a hole in the fence as was their wont.
She sat silentky her mind brooding about animals,and their force, as she ate the last roast potato and wondered if she had a pudding
Suddenly a cold wind seemed to blow across the room as Annie her delightful neighbour
had run in without closing the back door firmly
Hello dear.Put the kettle on for me, Mary ordered Annie
I am sorry,Annie said,I have lost weight but even so the kettle won’t fit me
Why do you take things so literally,Mary asked?
I am trying to be funny, Annie muttered indecisively, her blood red lipstick melting down her chin and dripping onto the floor
Good grief, what a mess,Mary said.Hang on, your lips are bleeding
I keep biting them,Annie revealed.
Why?
To stop myself screaming at those people with the dogs.What will you do?
Her mascara from Mix Vector in dark brown began to melt and created streaks across her rose beige moisturising foundation from Bess of Arden
Are you crying,Mary asked curiously
I must be.I have tears in my eyes.I am over-identifing with your feelings.
Empathy has its limits,Mary said sweetly>I phoned the police and they came here
They were amazed he has 23 dogs.They have gone to see him.
How can they afford to feed so many dogs?
Oh,I feel faint,ring 999
In ran Dave the bisexual, transvestment paramedic all dressed in tartan
Why are the police here, he asked anxiously
It’s about the dogs attacking Mary.
Shall I make some nice strong tea,Dave asked wisely
Good idea, said Annie
How is Emile taking this?
I’ve sent him to my sister’s for a break,But I miss him
Goodness me, what a terrible time you are having
They all went into the lounge and sat down on the grey high backed armchairs
Here is the tea,Dave cried as he put the tray down on a low table.Don’t let it go cold~
Shall I give them some cake, he asked Mary?
Why not, she answered.See what you can find
It is very hard if neighbours attack you,Why, I’ve even read about murders at times like this,Dave cried.
Let’s see how it goes,Mary said quietly.They are not fools
I hope you are right,Dave said wisely
Rolling Stones never get mopped
Evert cloud has a silver lining~
When glum ,keep mum
Ah
Amen
He said I can keep the box
Mary was in the teal coloured kitchen of her almost detached house making a jam sponge pudding when the doorbell rang.She wiped her hands on her new purple trousers because she didn’t want to dirty a clean towel.
She found her colleague Dr Rosa Benchez standing nervously outside shivering
Come in , Mary cried.
Would you like a cup of tea? You need to sit by the fire and get warmer
I’d love that, Rosa said politely but distantly
A few minutes later they were sitting looking out of the bay window watching a blackbird sitting on the fence;they hoped it would start to sing
May I talk to you,Mary? I have got rather more agitated than ever before
.I am wondering if I need counselling or maybe shooting, she joked morosely
OK,said Mary cautiously.Has anything unusual happened ?
Yes, my sister has had her driving license taken away because of big panic attacks she had crossing the Humber Bridge …. you know how huge it is.She got out of the car and screamed,Help! Help!
That was dangerous with so much traffic about
She is furious and says we live in a Nazi state and is writing to the Times
Well, it can happen that you lose your licence,Mary said,but when she has learned to deal with the attacks she can re-apply and get her license back.Simple things like not eating and being tired can bring that on so I have heard.And fear of fear, too.
As well as that,Rosa said,my son has got a recurrence of cancer and is going onto some new drug-type chemo.My ex husband is very distressed and so am I as it was unexpected.
And even worse my new fiance Prof. Charlie Blogge has broken off our engagement with no reason.I can’t think of any at all.Shall I ever trust a man again?
He said I can keep the ring which is a blue sapphire ,supposedly, but when I had it valued they said I was mistaken and you can buy them on amazon for £57 and less.
So she took off the ring and hurled it into Mary’s coal fire where it looked very nice as it got hotter and hotter glowing like a lighthouse off Portland Bill in a sea storm or a banger about to explode
Good grief, said Mary.No wonder you are agitated.We may have to phone Dave the bisexual lovable paramedic available on the NHS 24 hours a day.Or we could have our hair permed and dyed red instead, she murmured to herself
Which of these events bothers you most,Rosa? She continued gently while hoping she would cope.
It is my own feelings that worry me most.I wake up feeling very sad and nervous;I wonder if I am having a breakdown.Then I feel worse as I turn it over in my mind trying to decide what to do.Then I get up and get food into me and think it all over and over again while drinking my tea.
Well, you know it is normal to feel sad, anxious or distraught when bad things happen,Mary told her.
But most people look happy when I see them in the town , Rosa shouted angrily
That is because being outside they put on a mask.They could be feeling worse than you.Anyway, why bother about that? We are all different.Some people think I am very calm but they don’t see me when I’m not.I go stiff like a piece of wood.Then I pass out
So what do you do? Rosa asked her nervously,twirling a golden ringlet around her finger as she watched her engagement ring melt in the fire.
I don’t do anything,Mary said.This is one of the fundamental errors in our society that action is needed for so many things and especially for negative feelings.But it’s usually part of life.Things pass.
I pretend I have a big round box inside me and I let the anxiety live in there nice and cosy until my mind has absorbed and dealt with the pain.Once my box was quite small but it has grown bigger now and so it has room for mad or bad feelings.I do little tasks and listen to music.
Then if I feel really bad I listen to Leonard Cohen and tell myself, he had it worse.But he made money out of it! Not that you can make money out of yours. though it’s worth musing about
Well,Rosa replied.Thank you,Mary.I am glad I am not the only one who feels so anxious sometimes.I shall try to get a box like yours.
You are welcome,said Mary jovially.Come round on Sunday for tea.Emile is out hunting but he loves to see you and so do I
The women hugged cautiously and Rosa went out looking less cold and nervous as she bravely carried her box away .It was invisible to the people walking nearby
Annie and the apples

Poor Annie had fallen out of the apple tree where she saw Emile chewing some smoked haddock stolen from her basket.
Emile looked down from the highest branch
Are you alright he mewed.
I don’t know she muttered.I am in shock.
I’d better ring 999 and get Dave.
Without waiting he ran down the apple tree into the hall.
He phoned 999 and soon the ambulance will arrive.
Where will Annie be taken?
Who will look after her?
And where is Mary her best friend
Will she get better?
Find out in the next chapter if you pay £50 to The Red Cross by the time the next part is written.
Can’t wait
Chapter 2. Was their voice too loud?
Chapter 3. Are other people real or mere servants of your fantasies?
What to wear when you are dumb
.A new book by your favourite author

‘I’m a chef and I forgot how to bake a cake’: why trauma often leads to brain fog and amnesia
Three things we can all learn from people who don’t use smartphones or social media
Advice about parcel theft from doorstep
Stan is down on his uppers


Mary was down in the town buying some new earrings to match her red dress from Phase 8 Sale.Their granddaughter Flora had also gone to town but she wanted a nose ring not an earring.As she was a girl it was mandatory in the UK.Suddenly,quite out of the blue,the doorbell rang.They always do don’t they.It was their Muslim neighbour Bert.”We’re going away in the caravan.”He boasted gruffly.”Anyroad,the cat ,Nelsonia Mandelinaah, doesn’t want to come.Would you be able enough to feed her over the weekend without any politically correct remarks being issued ,as it were?”
” Certainly” Stan responded jovially.”When are you off?”
“Well we went last week but we need a weekend in bed to recover from seeing Brent Cross Shopping Centre in Kettlewell right next to the old Post Office.[Kettlewell,Yorkshire’s idyllic village]
“Very strange”Stan said,”Mary was in it only yesterday ,she claims,in Knittingham spending all our minute joint pension on new dresses and shoes.”
“I encounter women who have seen Brent Cross down the road all the time all over Britain.Still they’re entitled to believe what they want!” “But what will the consequences be?”Is there a flying Brent Cross?”
“That sounds rather religious,” Bert answered quickly
,”Is it an augury?”
“I’d say it’s an omen,myself”
“But of what?”
“The times we live in?
“But what’s going to happen?” “God knows.” “Well,does he though?”Stan’s hot water had gone cold.In fact it was frozen.”The laws of physics seem very mutable” Stan wrote in his journal,”Also my spelling has deteriorated badly ssince I began drinking laaaaaaaaaaaager.Would whiskey be better?”Meanwhile,he had cleaned only one third of the carpet.
He filled the bath with hot soapy water,stepped in fully clothed and then rolled himself around all over the carpet to pick up all the fluff.
When Mary came in she was amazed,”What’s going on?”
“You look as if you’ve been having an orgy on the floor!”
An orgy was something unknown to Stan as yet.”Would you like one?” he murmured.”Yes,”said Mary childishly “Age has not beaten me yet!””Better have it soon before my knees get too bad!”So now Stan is cleaning the carpet again.It’s very soft and thick,just perfect!The list of invitees is posted on his blog.
Well,he’s been told to do something new every week.An orgy this week,the marathon later!
But why is Mary ringing 999?
Does she want to invite Dave,the paramedic or is it more sinister than I can tell you? “Yes,indeed,she wants to invite Alistair Campbell and Tony Blair but she’s not telling Stan!.He’ll be furious.In fact he might kill someone but no,even these people have the right to life.And they did some good in Northern Ireland.But would you want them at an orgy?””Me neither!”






