Kiss a couple,  have a tin of beer

Watch fifty channels on  your TV screen
Read the Sun and see a silver moon
Knit  yourself a hat with cashmere thread
Take the milkman home and go to bed

Watch free videos, make a packaged cake
Put your lover in your bed, it must be fate
Change the sheets, I like them without lines
Let your cat play house with porcupines

Visit Urgent Care in case you’re dead
Ask them for another  bleeding head
Take tea while you’re  there, it is not free
Costa Coffee is the licensee

Adopt a cat and buy her lots of food
Wait for  her to mate and have a brood
Get a parrot  as a spy of sorts
Do not  tell your husband what you bought

Keep 4 boyfriends happy with your care
Just pretend that you ‘re not ever there
Keep them in compartments in your head
Never take  one near a double bed

Become transgender, wear a tie in bed
Call them they , unless their name is Fred
Kiss a couple,  have a tin of beer
Love is not another type of fear

Marry if you wish for we are free
To tie ourselves in knots of misery.
Have some kiddies, slap them very soon
For it’s illegal in  Dunfermline and Dunoon

Why not die a little now?
See what grace  is yours  but don’t ask how
Tell a lie or Dad will tan your hide
He don’t love  you nor your striped behind

Will we tell the truth, that Father’s dead
And Mother’s crazy,see where we’ve been led