You can count as well

Doctor, I have lost my husband
Does he wear a collar with his address on?
He’s not an animal
I am sorry to hear that.How about a phone  round his neck
Doctor,you are trying to distract me
Where were you when  you lost him?
In the hospital
Were you ill?
No but he was
In that case he can’t have gone far
You’d be surprised just how  some  go
I am sure he will be back home when you return
I hope not
Why?
To be  blunt, he has shuffled of this mortal coil
Would you mind speaking English?
It is Shakespeare
Who is he?
Don’t bother, just  give me something for arthritis
Is it bad?
Well, it’s not a load of laughs
Is it flaring up?
Yes
Get your husband to massage you with wintergreen oil
Would you like a ghost to massage you?
You mean he’s……
Yes, I do mean that
Well, you do look paler than usual
This is foundation cream
Well it’s too light for you,you look ill
Would you not look ill after having cancer near your one working eye
then finding your spouse was fading away.
Well, your eyes look alright
The point is can I see ?
Come back after the surgery is closed and I will show you
I certainly won’t.You are not an opthalmologist
No,but I do like you
What’s that got to do with it?
I suppose it’s wrong to woo a patient
It’s illegal but if Boris Johnson can get away with it,so might you
Still, I can’t forget my husband
Don’t worry. Time is a great healer
Yet another aphorism
Wow, I am a doctor but you are smarter than me
I’m just  pretending.My IQ is only 65 but I pretend it’s 165
So bright and so beautiful
Lay off or my old man will haunt you
I always liked him
That makes two of us
You can count as well!