https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/leo-abse-and-his-brother-dannie-l8kb0k5nn8b

 

Extract

Dannie had a different relationship with his wife. They worked together, they wrote books together, he never went anywhere without her. They were completely and utterly bound together. He was driving the car when she was killed, and although the accident wasn’t his fault, he has to deal not just with loss but with survivor guilt. It was difficult, God knows, for me to cope with my loss, but for him it is too much to bear.

The important thing is that he keeps writing. I’m terribly worried he’s given up, and that really is fatal. With courage, pain can be transmuted into something positive. It’s hard, but then just to live requires courage, particularly when you’re in your eighties. You are kept alive by work and love, and there are years of work left. Dannie can overcome this. He must transmute his grief, his pain, his tragedy into poetry and it may make him an even better poet. As it is, I suffer with him because my feelings for Dannie will always be paternalistic. To me, he’s still the kid brother.

Ancient nests of starlings  still remain
How  beautiful the instinct and the form
Although the birds will never come again

In Somerset they glide  above low lanes
Circling  like one being, god alone.
Ancient nests of starlings   here remain

Eternal life  is by the group attained
When one dies another one is born
Although the starlings won’t  come here again

The dead birds have no funeral  nor blame
The living birds will procreate  in time
Ancient nests of starlings   here remain

Their migration  is no children’s game
The  style and beauty of their flight ‘s  sublime
I’m sad those starlings won’t  come here again

And  so it is with  our possessions fine
They’ll be  discarded  when we cross the line
Ancient nests of starlings  still remain
And I shall never see those birds  again

My own photo.Copyright

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20190301-how-to-stop-digital-gangsters-stealing-your-time

 

Extract:

He says you can get back your time and concentration with a certain amount of personal effort. And he says it’s up to individuals, because “our government is not going to save us, and neither are the tech companies”.

He has a four-step plan to stop getting distracted by technology.

Step 1 – Manage your internal triggers: When we’re distracted, we’re normally looking to escape from something uncomfortable. Try to work out what it is and manage it.

Step 2 – Make time for distraction: Set aside time in your day to be distracted – that way it won’t feel like your time is being invaded. Give yourself a set hour that’s ‘social media time’.

Step 3 – Remove the external triggers: Turn off your notifications and the rings, pings and dings that tell you what to do.

Step 4 – Make pacts to prevent distraction: Get a technology app that tries to limit the amount of time you spend on your phone. The key factor is self-awareness: once you realise you’re being distracted by your phone or tablet, you start putting it down.