Conative?

michelangelo-pieta-590x615https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/conative

Extract:

conative

adjective

UK  /ˈkɒn.ə.tɪv/ US  /ˈkɑː.nə.t̬ɪv/ specialized

connected with a wishintention, or effort to do something:

There is a long-established distinction in psychology between cognitive and conative aspects of behaviour.
If we wish to describe the whole person, conative aspects must be included.

Leaves dry and crack, the acers seem to burn.

The season alters imperceptibly;
No  point  exact which demonstrates  the turn.
Yet soon come changes which our eyes can see
Leaves dry and crack, the acers seem to burn.

And so it is with human beings too.
Each day our loved one looks the same to us
And yet their body alters like leaves do.
Small changes made with neither noise nor  fuss.

We change into  transparent ghosts of self
Thus totter down the avenue of life
Soon death approaches with  its common stealth.
And separates  the husband  and the wife.

In winter all is black and we despair
Yet  deep in earth,worms  silently repair

Tulip fever

https://bulletin.hds.harvard.edu/articles/springsummer2019/tulip-fever

 

Tulip Fever

Adrie Kusserow
Each spring, when the sun finally dragged its paw
across the mangy, battered meadows, I’d wander,
light starved into the 1,000 tulips my Dutch
father planted, just as they opened their gaping
red and purple jaws. What an indulgence,
the farmers said, as they bitterly whacked the caked
manure off their black rubber boots. Still,
how I loved the tulips with such desperate hunger. In their presence,
my brain began its frantic hunt, ravenous
pounce, an almost violent pecking of metaphors,
similes flocking in like a murder of crows. For it
was in the ritual of perfect description I thought
I could be closest to them: Burning Hearts, lipstick streaked,
brazenly splaying their thighs. Queens of the Night,
standing aloof, regal rococo ruffles the color of eggplant.
Orange flames of the Fire Parrot black-beaked and wild,
guzzling wells of ink down their necks. Double
fringed white Angeliques, like a whole squawk of geese
flapping and nipping toward sky. The giant red Darwins,
shiny clawed lobsters, underbellies bulging and blue veined. 

And yet it was a kind of torture to be separate from the tulips.
Hoping to swallow their beauty whole, I sucked on a petal, a mammoth
white lobe bringing nothing but a gagging fake communion.
Meanwhile, the squawking in the birdcage of my mind continued.
The shame and lunacy of it all. Didn’t I have
enough? Think of the farmers, forced to sell
their land, watching TV in the stuffy heat
of their trailers where I sheepishly delivered bouquets (on orders
from my father). As if this could make up for our glaring wealth,
I yelled at him one day. I didn’t know
that something mute and elemental would open,
as I sat throat deep in that field, and let the tulips
be, a kind of quiet softening in the bed
of my mind, that I would come to cherish for even
five or six seconds, when all the crows stopped pecking
and all the tender beauty of my father’s
last crop, by now pockmarked with such
desperate description, finally stopped bleeding.

Adrie Kusserow, MTS ’90, is Professor of Cultural Anthropology at St. Michael’s College in Vermont. She has had two books of poetry (Hunting Down the Monk and REFUGE) published by BOA Editions as part of their New American Poets Series. Her poems have been published in Best American PoetryThe Kenyon ReviewPrairie SchoonerThe SUN, and elsewhere.