A play set in a Confession Box is reviewed in the Times

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/ireland/dramatic-moments-in-the-confessional-7twxblptc

Hi Father, give me your essay
Essay, what on earth do you mean?
Sorry,I forget the word…. blessing?
How long is it since your last Confession?
Do you mean in Court?
Crime is not always a sin
That’s Good News!
But it is still illegal.
Stop yapping. I want to tell you my sins
That  sentence was very rude
Do you mean I should have got Life?
You should have been executed
But it’s no longer allowed
I  regret that, in  your case
Are you always so nasty to sinners
I never said you were a sinner.I am rude to everyone
Well, stop!
It’s an illness
That’s what they all say
I  muse about OCD
Is that a religious order…Old Catholic Druids?
Catholics can’t be Druids
Well, what is D?
Donkeys.
You don’t seem like a donkey
It’s a metaphor.It should be Asses but they don’t breed
You are  not meant to breed
I only breed cats
Well, to get back to my sins.I have kissed fifty women lustfully
How about men?
No,I am not inclined to kiss men
Thank the Lord.
I don’t think it’s wrong. Just I’ve not yet met the right one
Well kissing women is not so bad as long as they want it.
But how can I  tell?
You must get to know one and do things together
Like going to bed?
No, no. Go out for a walk. Go for a meal. Discuss your  common interests
My interests are  not common nor vulgar
Wow. You are clever
Cleverness is not the highest value in life
Don’t tell me!
Why not?
I am too clever by half according to my aged Mother
How come?
She knows I became a  priest out of pure laziness.No need to have a mortgage!
But to become celibate to avoid having to pay a mortgage seems extreme.
It seemed a good idea at the time!
My next sin is greed.I eat a box of chocolates every day
Why?
To avoid cooking
You can’t live on chocolate
I know. I go to McDonald’s
Why?
To eat burgers and chips
Silicon chips?
I don’t know but they taste good
Can I come?
Sure.if you forgive my sins
For your penance buy me a meal
That’s brilliant,Father
How did you guess?
What?
I really am your Father!
You liar