Mary went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.She no longer feared to see Satan; compared to many living or dead human beings he seemed almost an angel.
Her hair was standing on end; she realised that it was one thing to buy a box of 24 combs from Amazon, but quite another to use one.
Ah, well, Stan preferred it wild, she told herself.But that was a long time ago.It was no longer thick and wavy.That stopped men singing,”O Sole Mio” when she passed them while they were painting a neighbour’s house.They probably didn’t know what it meant and neither did she.
Why am I looking into the mirror, she wondered? Maybe I am lonesome.But who to visit?Who to invite for tea?
Emile pushed the door open.
Are you alright, mother, he mewed piteously?
I am not your mother, Emile, she said to her little cat, being overly pedantic about every aspect of human life.
Ok,grandma, he continued.I see the Yodel van outside. He probably has something for you or me.
Now, Emile, I’ve told you before, call me Mary even if I am your grandmother.
Who was my mother, he asked? Did you adopt me?
Your mother was my mother’s cat “Arabella Stuart”.We called her Bella.Your father was a total mystery.
Presumably a cat, Emile pondered wonderingly
Why, did you think it was an animal of another type?
How about Stan.Was he not my dad?
In a metaphorical sense,he was, she murmured shyly.
He loved you very much.And so do I.
When we watched the dreadful news on TV I was wondering if any animals had been killed by the fire.Nobody has said.I doubt if they would keep dogs up there but cats might have been allowed.
Oh,dear, I have not thought of that.It was so terrible seeing people waving from their windows holding their phones.Saying, “I love you “to their parents or children.
And now the Chancellor says it is illegal here to use that aluminium cladding.
I bet he is going to try to oust Theresa May, Emile told her.
You men, you only think of one thing! Politics and fighting and sex and hot sinners.
Do you mean dinners, the intelligent cat asked her?
No , hot sinners are harlots.
But how do we know it is a sin.To cats it is normal.We don’t pay of course.
I don’t know.The word “sin” is no longer heard as it is not politically correct
Whereas letting 58 people burn to death is politically correct as long as we don’t call it sinful.And all the others will be sick for years.
My God, you are getting clever, Emile,maybe you should be runingn the country!
But now Mary and Emile are sad seeing the quarrelsome lunatics in charge of our little island, which will never rule any waves again,éxcept in people’s hair
Should Mary and Emile emigrate?
Who will take them?
Read more in “The Cats Times” on sale in all good pet shops



