Day: August 14, 2018
Suzanne
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What a lot of tea,miaowed Emile.
For my brother,Mike
Mary dreamed she was riding her bicycle.She was going up a hill and then approaching a very complicated roundabout.
How can I look at the map when I am riding my bike,she asked herself.Anyway I don’t have a map and I’ve never been here before.She looked down and saw she was wearing some dark blue denim culottes and red suede knee high boots with laces.
I don’t remember buying these,she thought.She felt quite hot even though she wore only an olive needle-cord coat over a Breton T shirt.
Goodness me, she cried.I look smart.
Her spectacles clouded over as she was sweating.How will I know where to turn off when I don’t know where I am or where I am going to.
When she woke up she filled Stan’s beer tankard with tea.
What a lot of tea,miaowed Emile.
I thought it saves carrying the tea pot. I’m going to go back to bed as I feel a bit peculiar.
You have got a fleece nightgown on.Maybe you are too hot,he replied.
I am trying to save money on the heating,Mary answered.I see I can save even more money by buying 2 pairs of Hotters sandals for £97.Usually they are £127.
That saves £30,the clever animal informed her.
I think it’s quite misleading,Mary answered.It only saves money if you were already planning to buy them.I have such strange feet I don’t like to bare them.
Do you wear shoes in bed with a boyfriend.Emile asked.
I’ve not got a boyfriend.Emile.
But if you did?
Well.you know, an older man might not wish to go to bed with me.He might like just sitting on the sofa holding my hand and kissing me.
OK said ,Emile.It sounds a trifle boring to me.
Don’t be so cheeky, Emile.Talking to me is not boring.
No, he said, but it’s nice running up and down your legs in bed.
I could hardly expect a man to do that.He might injure me.
It was just a kind of example,he replied nervously.
Suddenly the back door opened and in ran Annie from next door.She was wearing a mustard coloured track suit and orange trainers with matching lip gloss.
What a horrible colour,Mary cried.
It’s the in colour now,Annie said kindly.I am getting my hair dyed too.
Bright yellow is better,Mary told her.Except it attracts insects.
Insects,I don’t want those.How are you,dear.You look flushed, she responded emotionally.
No wonder. I’ve been cycling all night in my dreams.Why can’t I dream of motor bikes?
Don’t ask me,Annie told her.I am utterly ignorant.Do you need therapy?
I don’t think so,Mary answered.I need to know where I am going.Do I decide or is it my Inner Wisdom or Higher Power.I could use higher power on that bike.
Just take it one rotation at a time, Annie murmured.
I thought it was one step.Mary answered
You can’t take a step on a bike.
I suppose not.But I could ride up a step on the bike.
Don’t ride up a step ladder,Anne advised.How would you get down again?
Let’s have some coffee,Mary cried.Here we are ,the kettle is boiling.
Let’s just sit and brood.
But don’t ruminate,purred Emile.It makes you ill.
Just let your mind go blank.
And so I did.
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Now I’ve lost’em and mi wits
Mike Flemming
http://www.bbc.co.uk/lancashire/fun_stuff/lists/slang.shtml
Doctor,doctor ah feel ill
Gizza sken.Ah’ll mek mi will
Mi mate’s a woofer .not right spov
Yet he’s gud at mekkin luv
Now ah’m sick n’tired eh life
Mi pain shoots throo mi like a knife
Wi canna have wa fun in bed
Mi privates ache and that’s not gud
Mi bosom’s gradely, all agree
But they can’t feel mi pain like’me
Mi pongers also feel worn out
When am trollied,’ow, they shout
On Xmas Day , all ookin men
Give me only 5 on 10
A canny lass, I can allure
I swear as bloody life endures
I found a ten pun on’t floor
Can a woman ask fe’ more?
Mi ”usband took his kecks right off
Ye should a’ seen ‘is collie dog!
T’ dog jumped up and bit his balls
But ah’ve just got it out on bail
I used t’ grumble I ‘ad nits
Now I’ve lost’em and mi wits
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Adages
Never be sad, when things all go bad
The world is obscure, and God is no more
Let mother Nature be your aid
Get pregnant quick in this sweet glade
I will marry you next week
I really find you ace,my sweet
Let your feelings allrun out
Then get up the blooming spout
I dropped the teapot in the hall~
Tea made murals on the wall
I don’t decorate no more
The cats don’t like it nor your whore
I had a mistress very kind
She was an orange with no rind
Filled with juice and squeezy too
Unfortunately she went blue
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Late birthday cards
I forgot to buy your birthday card once more
Maybe I don’t love you,you’re a bore.
If you want to leave me,I am glad
Living with your rules made me go mad
Alas I bought a card but not a stamp
Please don’t kick me in my big round rump
I decided that the cards were very poor
So maybe I shall find one by next year
If the first class stamps increase in price
We’ll be living on just plain old rice
I did not send a card,my dearest love
But I shall send a message via my dove
I saw a card I liked by the shop door
Then I realised I am now poor
The card was four pounds fifty, I was stunned
I’ll have to give up drinking all this rum
I grow older and alas I am quite bad
I am wicked and you are very sad
I never bought a card or wrote a note
See the beam in your eye, it’s my mote
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Earth space
The earth has its own gravity and grace Perception will develop as we grow Gently feel the sacred in this space When we live we need to find our place The process may be long and very slow The earth has its own gravity and grace The good and bad both need to be embraced Grace comes easier to those who’re low. Understand the sacred in this space Good and bad make patterns as in lace And through the gaps, the living waters flow The earth has its own gravity and grace Life must grow at its own righeous pace By our intuition ,we will know. Maintain the sacred in the earth's own space Of the fruits of earth, the living taste. Admire the flying birds from thrush to crow The earth has its own gravity and grace I am grateful to the sacred and its space
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Poetry and politics
“I’ve often said that all poetry is political. This is because real poems deal with a human response to reality and politics is part of reality, history in the making. Even if a poet writes about sitting in a glass house drinking tea, it reflects politics. Yehuda Amichai ”
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/yehuda_amichai_536622
How my heart sings 