Puns etc

By Mike Flemming 2018

Sentences are weapons:

We writers must write good sentences.
After reading your latest book, I feel I have been sentenced to death

I have been booked again after my  violin concert.
I told you  we were speeding .

The judge summed it all up:You  have gone too far, you are well past Coventry.I’d say 1,000 years in Greenland will keep Britain safe from men like you and the rest of the government.

If I cook the books, can  we ruminate tonight?

My sentence seems interminable
That’s only four words

I have not submitted,my thesis.
Well kneel  down and say,I give in.
But that’s not mathematics!
Neither is your comma.

We submitted all our plans to  the Government.
Don’t worry, their average reading age is 9.

I read the Guardian  nightly
That’s why you don’t understand anything
I do,I do
Look, we are married already
But not to each other.
Does it matter?
I feel odd.
It’s all this adulteration.
Stop, stop!
We’re not on  the bus
Well, in that case, the earth moved