In fact their relatives change and become saintly

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You know, I  think I want to go to church again and I must go to Confession before I go to Mass.But the trouble is that when you have no partner your opportunities for committing sins are greatly reduced.Especially if you don’t go out much
You can’t have a row with them about what TV programme to watch or which side of the bed you sleep on nor about whether they pull the duvet off you in the middle of the night.So you can’t blame them when you feel tired.
You can’t get angry when they ask you to wash their trousers again either or about them wearing a cashmere sweater in bed.Also you see less of their relatives and they were always good for producing sins like envy, rage, jealousy and so on.In fact their relatives change and become saintly so it’s even worse.I suppose that might make me sin.
It’s really hard, though, to commit a sin now so I am wondering   if I should get  a partner purely for the purpose of becoming a sinner who can them be saved by the Sacrament of Confession.I always thought it was odd because if God exists he must know our sins.. in fact  he might know more than we do.He must.
With that in mind, I  wonder about going into therapy as surely that would make  me aware of all the questionable things I have done.Which is better: therapy or getting married? I suppose if I married a rich person they could pay for psychoanalysis for me but it would be a sin to marry purely for that reason.Is that Russell’s Paradox?
Or if I got 2 cats  I could be unkind to them and  not let them sleep on my bed.But I have to admit I cannot be unkind to cats.And I don’t like dogs in the house.Too much work.You might as well get married again as have a dog to care for.Although dogs don’t wear clothes and can’t shout and scream and demand sex at 3 am.Barking is not quite the same
.I suppose I could become a Quaker because it might be  tough to find a husband  who is happy for me to study Wittgenstein and Sylvia’s  Wrath.My hair is no longer what it was.. my eyes are still blue  but now I have a scar on my face.I thought maybe no-one would notice but the dentist said,
Wow, he’s done a great job hasn’t he? Fantastic, there’s just a little lump here…. what little lump?
She’ll have me back in Dermatology as soon as take my teeth out.It was a  little lump that began the whole damn business as it was a bit like a Russian Vine invisibly covering [ part of ] my face.Well I can proudly say I had 23 injections of local anaesthetic  in my face but the surgeon was very handsome.Greek…man
Anyway I went out today with no sun cream on and that is really wicked when you’ve had what I had but the hypothalamus gland needs sunlight so my brother tells me.I have three brothers plus my aide P so I have plenty of men to tell me what to do or not to do.Still you can’t marry your brother can you? I wonder what the priest would say about that.I rest my case.By gum, it was heavy.I’ll take to drink

Mary and the sandy beach in Gaza

ddm53gMary stood in her kitchen admiring the white flowers on her huge mock orange.She looked down at the floor where half a tin of  instant coffee she had spilled had become a large  black mark.She tried mopping it with her squeegee mop after pouring some floor cleaner onto the mark.Alas, this did not work much
Mary was lost in wonder at the chemicals  in coffee which make it more intractable to remove.She was once more lost in dreams and thoughts as she had been so many years ago giving lectures on Relatativistic Quantum Fairies.
The back door opened and in dashed Annie ,her neighbour.
Dressed today in purple and mauve, she was the picture of  ripe female seductiveness achieved by artifice and art.Her mauvey grey eye shadow was bought on line from “Images of Wigan and West Mersea” a well known source of startling new colours for women’s faces.
Her smokey pink lipstick was glued to her lips by a special formula known only in the Wigan factory.Even nail varnish remover did not get it off so Annie made sure it was what she needed…. along with her 48 hour antiperspirant from Boots and her Channel 9 perfume  which came with her  new television set.

In fact, that was why she had bought the television.She already had 5 of them in her  home so she was never without the chance  to watch some Palestinians enjoying themselves on a sandy beach by the  lovely wire Fence which divided them from their  former homes in Israel  provided free by the government or on HP for those who wanted to contribute
Now and then one might see an ambulance.Possibly, like Mary’s mother did in New Brighton in 1948 ,someone had stepped on  a piece  of broken glass and the  paramedics always enjoyed a trip to the sandy picnic spot.It was too far for Dave to go from Knittingham.He was also following on TV to learn new methods of treatment
A Palestinian nurse/paramedic was always  there ecquipped with her sewing box to stitch people up right where they were, enjoying their day out without a care in the world.
Now and then one was targeted by some loon nearby who had somehow got hold of a gun and some wonderful butterfly bullets so much safer than plastic ones.Still even butterflies cause storms.
We all  need some risk in our life.Otherwise we would get terribly bored or if Spanish, gored.Even in the USA, there are often accidents like this or much worse.It is a real part of their culture unlike Britain, the calmest country in the West apart from a few teenage boys stabbing each other and a few more committing suicide for no valid reason.Not to mention a woman killed once a fortnight by her male partner

Mary got out a brillo pad and tried to scrape the marks off the kitchen floor.Annie found a wire wool scourer and they  bent over scrubbing away as women always have loved to do after breast feeding  their husbands and smacking the baby.Or is that the other way round? Or both?
Now it’s time for tea.Let’s ring 999 and ask for Dave to help  out.Emile will do it with his paw if he is not asleep in a pan on a low heat.Luckily he can’t get inside the kettle yet

Wait for the rest   tomorrow

Our warrior queen

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-44069889

Aethelflaed: The warrior queen who broke the glass ceiling

  • 12 June 2018
Aethelflaed attacks WelshmanImage copyrightGETTY IMAGES

Image captionAethelflaed not only ruled skilfully but might even have led her armies into battle

How does a ruler defeat bloodthirsty invaders, secure a kingdom and lay the foundations for England – and then almost get written out of history? Be a woman, that’s how. Exactly 1,100 years after her death Aethelflaed, Lady of the Mercians, is emerging from the shadows.

Born into a tooth-and-nail war for survival against Viking invaders, Aethelflaed, daughter of Alfred the Great, grew up in a realm teetering on the brink of disaster.

In 878 the royal family was forced to flee to the swamps of Somerset – just months before Alfred turned the tables and won a stunning victory over the Vikings at the Battle of Edington.

Married at 16 to Aethelred, Lord of Mercia, Aethelflaed’s new lands were the front line as an uneasy and fitful peace came to a fiery end with Alfred’s death in 899.

Map of England and Wales in 900 AD
Image captionThe British Isles had been split by waves of invasion into rival kingdoms

Dr Clare Downham, from the University of Liverpool, said: “She must have had quite a force of personality to overcome the assumptions of her time.

“It is a mark of her success in male-dominated times she was accepted as a ruler and achieved incredible – even unique – things.”

In my tights

My alarm went off  early so I gave the clock a beta blocker.Next time I’ll give it an overdose
I didn’t want to get up today but,on the other hand,I didn’t want to be down
I  threw my clock at the wall and it hit my neighbour on the bed
I use my phone as an alarm.Well it already is.
I keep reading the News  to see when we leave Europe.I am worried we have no anchors strong enough.Still, the Atlantic is very blue.And so am I
I don’t know why I want to read poetry on my Android Device.Some incompatibility  of genres.
My Windows phone  is always a day behind with email.That’s why I love it.
If I don’t answer the phone please don’t leave a message as hearing them often offends.
Like borrowing my hairdryer? I will sell it for £24  free to first arrival
My hair  is so short I look like I’ve had chemo.Solidarity is the game
My sunscreen is full of chemicals and so am I.
What is a chemical? Don’t go there
I have to go up stairs even when there are none.I have a ladder in my tights

Our Father

architecture black and white brighton building
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Our Father, Our King.”

What does a father do
when his children are orphans and he
is still alive? What will a father do
when his children have died and he becomes
a bereaved father for all eternity?

Yehuda Amichai