I will lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my strength
Day: June 9, 2018
Steer your way
Adveniat Regnum tuam;festina lent
We were so poor we six children had to eat our dinner off a cricket bat.
Well,it made you good at grammar!Us six had to eat off a cricket!
Did the cricket mind?
Yes,it hated being licked.
What a shame!
What a catastrophe.
Just think,we have no English crickets now.
We just have foreign crickets.
How can you tell?
They speak Dutch!
What do they say?
Festina lente.
That’s not Dutch?
Well,we had a Dutch priest in the fifties and he used to say,
Adveniat Regnum tuam;festina lente.
Your Kingdom should have come but the Mail has been privatised.
That’s English.
I know.Strange is it not?
Who are you?Prince William of Orange
Don’t be that way.I talk proper because I passed the 11 plus.
I’d have thought it’d be the other way round?
You seem quite bright.
I belong to Mensa.
I don’t see what sex has to do with it….
I left my tart in Canned Fran’s Disco.
That was an error.
No,I was right.They had no cream.
Do you ever eat off a bat now?
No,it’s not hygienic;we eat off the Times.
After you have read it?
Oh, we never read it!
Why buy it?
It makes us feel superior.
Why not get some China?
Why is it called china?
I suppose that’s what was on the map when they looked.
That’s ridiculous.
I know.I agree.
I mean,you are ridiculous.
Some people like to insult others when they are in a bad mood
I can do it in a good mood.
You are balmy
Bedankt!
I mean barmy!
Off with ihre briefke!
Now he speaks French.
I want a letter!.
A French letter?
No,a Greek letter.
Here you are… it’s an apple pi.
Is it natural?
Ask Euclid!
He’s dead.
No he’s in a Platonic realm
Making Platonic love?
I am sure he could make a Teutonic love!
Why so?
His tongue is enchanted.His lips are fluorescent.
How about his nose?
It’s quite perfect.
And his eyes?
Like cat’s eyes in winter,glowing and amber.
Have you got his phone number?
Yes,it 4478733333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333…………..
It’s irrational.
Don’t tell him,he thinks it’s infinite.
Aleph null?
Is that your phone number?Where is aleph on a phone
Je ne sais Aleph Faux pas.
That is the end of
Thoughts at play for today
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Lipstick made in Wigan and sold in Paris
Queen Matte Hilda… our new lipstick created in our factories in Wigan and Paris,In three colours, Pink fantasy,Red Rose and Purple Death.And who liked it?
Ask the husband?
Richard felt lust
Richard, she beckoned?
Richard ,I’m bared, she murmured
That’s bad grammar, he replied
For God’s sake Richard, is grammar more important than love?
So Lacan thinks.
Who is Mr. Lacan?
He’s dead.
So why bother what he thinks?
Well, how about Jesus, he’s dead too,in the human sense.St Paul is dead as well but people still read his letters!
They won’t read mine.
You have not written any.
That’s why
I can’t even remember what a pen is
That’s what they all say
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Philadelphus “Belle Étoile”
Deep down in the clay and soil
Where the worms and brethren toil
Roots of all my garden shrubs
Twine in their long lust and love.
Invisible yet holy life,
Sacramental, without price.
Love is hidden in the dark
Waiting for the spirit’s spark
Uncountable the ants and bees
The insects on old hawthorn trees
Our own souls are destitute
We are turned to market fruit.
Until when we die, at last
We provide the worms repast
Love is gentle,love is kind
Where is love when we are bound?
People prisoners in their strip
Prefer death to soldiers’ whip
People, all beloved of God,
Who will hold the judging rod?
What was chosen may be spurned
When the love to grey death turns
No past choice is ever bound,
As the deer falls to the hounds.
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Two letters
Phote EL copyright 2018From Stan to Ron
Dear Ron
I’m writing to you now as I had no time at Xmas with Mary wanting shopping and Emile having measles again.Since then life has calmed down a little.We had a party last week which went well,I believe though,don’t tell anyone,I had my mistress here doing the drinks!I know I’m 98 but I still love women.
Mary has been a good wife but she’s not glamorous enough for me.She wears a twinset and flowered skirt from Artigiano but she will have pen clipped to the front neck, her mobile in her 46H bra and a pair of pliers hanging from her belt and as well as that her nails are rough.
What puzzles me is, and again,keep this secret, when we married she was as flat as a pancake yet she’s now got a front like the prow of a ship.
I guess the ample cleavage is appealing to some men but I prefer skinny women…She blames me as she never ate until we married and she got the Jewish Cookery Book…God knows why as she was a Catholic then [but they have no cookbook].This book has everything,cheesecakes,sponge cakes,puddings,meat loaves and we have eaten all of it.
I wonder why I am still thin and she is so fat when she rides a bike to work and I drive the car….scientists don’t seem to know.
Still,I have my mistress who is quite slender and Mary seems to be elsewhere mentally…She reads Philosophy in bed.Is it my fault?I am so old I can’t change… but can she?I don’t mind her doing maths but I wish she wore a pearl satin nightie with lace all over it and some perfume… she smells of bike oil and Algipan heat rub.No wonder we never have any sex life now
.Do you think maybe I should wear a nightie like that and see how she reacts?Have you ever done anything like that?We could have a chat on the phone.It’s not so much the sex,it’s the cuddling I like and whispering in her ears.Too late as she probably is reading a manual for her camera and checking the screwdrivers and the files.
She has even stolen my camera…nary a word.
Still,there we go…life is hard.Emile had a very bad bout of measles and I kept him in for 3 weeks resting in a box.I wonder if he will catch chickenpox,I find him a worry though he is funny too and can swim!He is very rare.
I fear owing to the cat etc I have no real news.But I’d love to hear yours and remember,don’t tell anybody what I have confided in you.I hope we can meet in the Spring time
Till then,keep well.
Adios amigo
Your friend
Stan
ps I must tell you about Satan next time,you won’t believe it
The reply
Dear Stan
I am answering your letter immediately as I am very irate about your behaviour.
Muriel ran away with an artist but it was all above board; we had none of this deception.Can’t you speak to Mary?She seems quite charming to me.And your fantasies of wearing silk nightdresses seem odd in a man of your age…By all means try it if it will help your marriage.Will Mary wear her tigerprint house dress?I loved it.In fact I’ve been in love with Mary for many years but backed off on moral grounds but if you are consorting with Satan and this female neighbour,I feel I ought to help poor Mary…if you divorce her.. let me know!
Why does she carry pliers in her belt?Is she afraid of being attacked?As for her size,she does have a severe thryroid problem and that can play havoc with the weight.
Most men would be delighted to be engulfed in her delightful bosom and to kiss her plump yet elegant neck and to embrace her with love and passion.
Apart from Xmas,the old dog Gip died and Sally has had twins so Muriel is up from St Ives.I miss her but no longer so painfully and we want to be there for Sally and Ben.He’s only two and Malcolm travels so Ben will be quite hard hit by the twins coming.
So I see myself being a helping grandad doing manly things with him.I’ll soon have him changing fuses and backing up his laptop.I may even show him how to make plum wine in the autumn.Sally is breastfeading Jill and Milly so she’ll get tired out.
Has your Lyra never got married?That would occupy you.Emile is sweet but he is in fact just a cat.
Can you not go to the pub like other men?Play darts or gamble,smoke cigars and discuss politics…
Leave that neighbour alone or I shall swoop down to protect Mary like a giant owl on LSD.I’ll kill you.
We had a roast goose for Xmas.It’s now recovered as it was only half cooked and I’ve dug a pond for it.I am mating it in the spring,I hope.. where do I buy a female goose?I am fond of goslings
Now,just heed my words or I shall be very irate
Your old friend and moral adviser
But I could become an enemy
Ron.
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Like plainsong
Photo 2018 Copyright PL
The Jewish Cantors in Montreal on Leonard Cohen’s last album make a sound very like plainsong which is sung by Catholic monks here and elsewhere.
Such close links,such sad experiences
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The last album
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Waxy flowers in the snow
Waxy flowers poking through Snow so white Flowers bright. Made me think of you. I see once more your dark brown hair, Soft as snow, On pillow. Now my bed is bleak and bare , Face alight,flower to sun, I loved you. Love so true. Fear by love,overcome. Cyclamen in the snow, Pink and red, Now frozen,dead. Love was,oh,so long ago. But never gone from in my mind. Thoughts so deep, Upwards seep. Love was gentle,love was kind And always in my mind
How my heart sings 