The automated confession

Hello,you are through to St Jemima’s Church,Yessex,UK
Press 1 to make a donation
Press 2 if you are dying and need a priest
Press 3 for Mass times.
Press 4 for general advice
Press 5 to confess your sins.
Press 6 if you wish to convert
Press 7 if you want to be a woman priest.
Press 8 if you are unconverting
Press 9 if you suffer from scruples,then press it again
Press 10 if your hands are still dirty
Press 11 to make a complaint
For all other enquiries kindly go .
to Limbp where we shall be happy to advise you on your remaining options..donations urgently needed to raise the dead..pay monthy on your debit card or annually by creed  card

To hear this message again press 987
Thank you for calling.Have a holy day