Wear a kilt,collar and tie under a very old tweed jacket
Don’t keep your nails clean
Don’t express interest in Albert Camus ; who?
Polish your shoes nightly
Wear old nasty socks with those weird short trousers
Don”t wear trench coats especially in bed or if dead or in the Army
Take a talking cat out on your shoulder.
When out with friends do not ask what hermeutics is.And don’t ask in bed.Ask your Rabbi as Christianity is a heresy of Judaisn so we are all entitled to speak to the nearest Rabbi unless they have fled from anti-Semitisim
Wear a fake fur dressing gown all day
Don’t appear intelligent
Walk round square parks screaming Pi.? och aye
Talk about cricket and snooker as much as you can
Never tell your partner you adore them.
Always get married before sexual activity including to yourself.
What this old rubbish,? Be off
The editor
How my heart sings 