Confirm yourself by getting a phone text
You cannot live today without that cell
When I was young , the Bishop confirmed best
Do you wonder if you’re a mite obsessed
Well if you are, perhaps noone else can tell
Confirm you’re me by getting a phone text
Do you think that I have passed a test
To prove I’m real and feeling really swell?
Then I was told , the Bishop confirmed least
My mother always seemed inclined to vex
And added further children to our hell.
Confirm yourself by sending you a text
I wonder if we had too many checks
I suffered with my” nerves” when Mother yelled
When lips were cold , the Bishop preferred breasts.
Well soon I shall find what cometh next
The priest was absent from my burial
Confirm all first by sending God a text
So then we hear the tolling of the knell
Elegaic music with dark thrills
Confirm yourself by reading holy texts
When I sung , the Bishop cried “Arrest.”
