“Your eyes are like deep pools in the  Indonesian ocean” he murmured into Annie’s ear.He gently took hold of her and pulled her down onto his knee.
Just as he did that, his Habitat chair collapsed and they  fell onto the floor.,the chair in bits around them.
Have you got your mobile,my sweetheart ?”he whispered romantically,
“I think you’ll have to ring 999.”OK,my  archangel” she  prattled,
” Operator,it’s my lover’s chair again.It keeps collapsing,can we bring into A and E to be fixed?”
“Well he can’t go to bed anymore so we really need this”
Just then a pebble hit the window,it was his wife coming back from Sainsburys” she’s lost her keys.
.Oh,wonderful,just at the right moment” he shouted,”Hello,mary,here is Annie,she’s a chair surgeon!”
“Oh,that’s good”, Mary muttered enigmatically,” Do you ever do beds?” “Why?”
“Well ours is always collapsing,another of life’s mysteries.”
“Why,you are so beautiful Mary,You are mesmerising.Come and show me your bed.We”ll leave Stan here.He’ll soon be in that ambulance”
“Mary,your eyes are like deep pools in the Indonesian ocean.”
“Have you both been  on ta creative writing course?” Annie spouted satirically.
“I aim for satisfaction.” Here’s my gun.I’m going to shoot you”
“But we have no guns in the UK”
“Well you have now.”
Just then the emergency ambulance arrived”.OK which chair is it this time” the paramedic  Dave enquired paradoxically.
“Have you ever thought of making it in the bath?”
“We’re getting really worried about you in Casualty,at your age.”
“Worry no more” Mary screamed emphatically, firing the gun repeatedly into the chair.”I’ll make sure he never sits in it again.And now Habitat’s gone bust,he can’t buy another.’”
“Cheers, mate!”whispered the paramedic dramatically.
“Has anyone ever told you,your eyes are like deep pools in the Caspian sea”.
“Oh,no not another one!”Mary moaned tentatively,”You need to raise your whole game,not just change the name of the sea”
“You’re so intelligent too,lady.Can you teach me truly creative writing?” He yelled quietly.
“Come upstairs she murmured in reply, and we’ll see what sea we can see up there,tonight”.
“Thank you so much and please send me home in a stamped addressed envelope when you are done with me.”
“Whatever” she sighed spontaneously.”Let’s get on with it or you’ll be here all night”
And so will all of us