Why not boil the kettle?

Dotty cats 2

 

When Mary got home, she took off her coat and put the kettle on the fire!She got the tea caddy out and put some tea into the pot.Suddenly the door burst open and Annie her exuberant neighbour fell into the kitchen
Are you ok, Mary asked her gently.Those 4-inch heels are rather dangerous.
Annie was wearing a sky blue track suit, red stilettos and a big green pashmina. Her make up had melted all down her face as she was so warm with running.She had some waterproof makeup but had the feeling it might be dangerous to clog the pores.So why had she bought it?
Where have you been? she asked Mary curiously.You were ages.
I forgot to get off the bus as I fell into a reverie.
That sounds like a black hole!
I was daydreaming so I ended up by the river and a policeman asked me for a date, sort of.
Did you have any dates with you?
No, I only had Stan in my bag, alas.
Where is he?Have you put him into the wardrobe?
It’s already full.He’s still in the bag at the moment.
The two women fell into a sad mutual silence realising Stan would never now teach Emile to swim in the bath nor return his overdue library books.
Am I liable for his fines, Mary wondered.
I can pay if you like,Annie, said generously.She got out homemade biscuits and gave one to Mary who was wearing a  long black dress from Lands End which resembled a nun’s habit.
Are you thinking of  retiring to the cloister soon , she continued.
No, I don’t believe in Christianity any more.Christ.yes, Christianity ,no.
What about Xmas? Will you celebrate?
I shall pray and do out the kitchen cupboards.
Are they that bad, asked Annie curiously, twiddling  her ringlets with her fingers.
Possibly, Mary giggled!
They didn’t teach domestic science at Oxford!And Mother was always busy cooking and cleaning the grate after she got home from work.
Talking about grates, I’d better look at the kettle.She lifted it off the fire and held it up in the air.It was very black on one side, just like the one Mary’s mother had had so many years ago.
Why don’t I make some tea, she asked.
I don’t know, said Annie.Is this the Xmas quiz?
No , you don’t understand.It’s a rhetorical question.
Oh, do stop  showing off, Annie told her.I only went to Knittingham Polytechnic and we  never did Greek, just Aramaic.I have forgotten it now.
Mary poured out the tea into two pint sized mugs and the women sat silently warming their hands on the mugs and meditating on the  wilful backwardness of the local poly which now only taught Latin, Hebrew and chemical engineering.The latter was an error as the professors thought that was what Wittgenstein had studied before finding Bertrand Russell more attractive.
Russell’s paradox had haunted Annie ever since those unhappy student days.Whereas she being a lady with a very high libido would have preferred Russell to his paradox if she had been given the choice.Alas, he was already dead.But why let that stand in the way of fantasy? If not Bertrand maybe  some other clever old chap who could talk in an interesting manner,

Is the laptop spying on you?

 

12799247_673073696165845_6684362272588328293_nI saw someone recommend covering the camera eye with paper when you were not using it.And could they listen to you? I do not know but probably or they can scan files using malware.But I have nothing to hide!

The skin is thin, but life may be resumed

We wrap our wounds in any kind of rag
Till we can make it off the battlefield
We walk for hours  till we fall to the ground
To harsh fear and weakness, we must yield

Some dare not remove the dirty cloth
Afraid of what confronts their nervous eye
Some tear if off and start to bleed again.
And seeing this, they weep and wish to die.

A time will come when intuition tells
We’ve reached the central space where we will see.
The wound’s not killed us, so we hold our breath.
Wishing not to fall in apathy.

The lines and shape of face  display the wound
The skin is thin, but life may be resumed

 

 

Teaching children not to smirk.

Oh, toilet with your flushing  plumbed
You are  the saviour of girls young
We had to go outside at night
To a closet with no light.
When menstruating, it was hard
To run in rain down the backyard
What a glory later on
We had a bathroom with plumbing
Now many folks have three  or more
One downstairs with its own door.
We used chamber pots  at night
Without putting on the light.
But children rarely woke  too soon
We’d have stayed in bed till noon.
Saturdays, my mother baked
All sorts of mysterious cakes
Then she knitted, sewed and  cried
For my dad who  who early died.
She sewed our clothes and brushed our hair
Didn’t bother with the stairs.
And she had her full-time work
Teaching children not to smirk.
She made them read and write in ink
She questioned them and made them think.
There was a loo for teachers use
Gosh, it flushed and was kept spruce.
Gone, the days of no bathroom
Gone the sweeping with the broom
Dysons are worshipped as  our gods
Getting dust out of the rugs.
One thing always puzzled me
Why did God want us to wee?

 

If we lock our hearts up tight

The brightness of late summer light,
The songs of birds whose brood take flight.
I love to take in these earthly pleasures,
And so to fill my mind with treasures.The conversations with my friends,
The closeness only death will end.
To share our life with those who care,
How could we have better fare?

Those who suffer pain and grief,
From whom love’s stolen by a thief,
Let us take them to our hearts,
So their healing path can start.

Those who are fear friendship and love,
Who set themselves at too low worth,
Do they know how courage grows
Through acceptance of our woes?

Life is tragi-comedy.
Love may be the remedy.
Though if we give our hearts away
We shall have grief and pain to pay.

But if we lock our hearts up tight,
And keep all feeling out of sight,
We will wither like dead leaves,
Of our whole life, we’ll be bereaved.

What sort of spirit are you?

 
I heard my husband unlock the front door last night.I never knew ghosts had to use keys…

Then I heard him again.I shouted, Get on with it. I’ve been waiting for you for 18 months and now you can’t get through the front door.What sort of spirit are you?And talking of spirit.I found a bottle of whisky.You should have drunk it before you died. What a waste of money.You know I don’t like it.

Then I heard him on the stairs.A pity I’ve not moved to a bungalow yet.

I said, I’ve been wearing your vests.He said

I think they look very fetching.

A bit late now.How did I know a woollen vest would turn him on?I bought some red underwear and in the end, I gave it to the Salvation Army.That was tactless.So if you are married ask your spouse what clothes turn them on.Then never wear them.Well, we are contrary!

When I wore a big woollen vest over my nightdress I didn’t realise I had fever.It was my kidneys.My husband never knew we had kidneys.He didn’t know what lungs were for but he had asthma, anyway.That was odd.Men!

Anyway, I may be confused but they seem to have the same programmes on TV as last night.Oh, I get it now.It’s the News.That Middle East, it saves the reporters looking at North Korea and Tibet.And the Isle of Man.They still have capital punishment there, you know.And the indigenous people have almost died out.Well, they all used to marry out and eventually they lost all their own DNA.Possibly in the washing machine.I blame Ariel myself.Ariel and Sylvia Plath; what a woman.She deconstructed poetry alright.And my mind as well.It’s just stuck together with little hooks now.I’ve cut my thumb in the kitchen, but did I write a poem about it? There’s a thought.Suppose I cut my own throat.That would give me something to muse over. I’m a bit too timid with knives.I keep them very blunt and never send them to Cambridge in term time.What more can I do? Stop eating!

Oh , do open that door.Can’t you see through it yet?I’m crying

Paranoia is the safest way

Paranoia is the safest way
To live in  this unsavoury world today
Advertisers know  the spies and MI5
Know the evil  habits of the live.

So get a doll the same size as yourself
Sit it on the sofa by the shelf
Make a short recording of your chat
Put it in the doll  under its hat

Make it say the Government is great
And Theresa May is almost your best mate.
Say you  enjoy helping MI  seven
And what an idiot was Ernest Bevin.

Say that Harold Wilson was  an error
He went to Oxford which filled him with terror.
Say that Tony Benn was almost red
The spy whom you saw underneath your bed.

What the bedroom habits were  of Lords
What the working classes thought of bawds
This useless information clogs their wires
And hence it helps the spies who are all liars.

TV spying on you?

 

sunlight-ohttp://www.zdnet.com/article/how-to-keep-your-smart-tv-from-spying-on-you/

 

“Well, for starters, don’t buy smart TVs in the first place. Apple TV and Roku, to name two, supply pretty much everything a smart TV does and more. Sure, they can have security holes as well, but at least they’re designed by people with a clue about security and network engineering.

What’s that? You already have a smart TV? Bite the bullet, disconnect it from the internet, and turn it into a dumb TV.

First, check to see if your TV will let you disconnect from your Wi-Fi network. If it won’t, reset it to its factory default setting. When it turns on again and goes through its setup routine, don’t give it your Wi-Fi password.

If you’re using Ethernet, do the same thing — except this time, you simply don’t plug it into your network.”

And knowing me

I love him but he does not love me
Although he  once seduced me with his art
His complex face I still would wish to see
I love him  yet but he does not love me.
I puzzle over this anomaly
And wish the grief of lies  to leave my heart
I love him but he does not love me
From his seduction,I, in pain, do smart.

I detest him  for I was then but newly known
He hung on me the clothes of his desire
And when I called him once on his iPhone
He  labelled me a whore and made me groan
His fantasy was not one I could own
Tried, condemned to perish in his fire
I detest him, for I was but newly known
And knowing me, he'd send me to my pyre

And how the the light comes in.

 

Let your lips meet gently,
the top one resting against the lower,
touching with tenderness
your own skin to skin.

Forefinger propped on chin,
I let the others dangle,
like leaves on a branch;
how softly gravity tugs them downwards.

Let heart beat quietly,slowly
as the blood circulates
carrying its music,
a river,
following the path of least resistance.

How the blood vessels receive willingly this flow,
touching it kindly as with tiny open fingers,
helping and being helped.

How the hair on the head
floats
on the breeze,
like tentacles of an octopus
waving goodbye.

Top eyelid loves the lower one;
as we blink they touch
like lovers kissing swiftly
behind a tree.

and how the light comes in
we see a world.
[mine may not be yours]
but the blink of my eyelid
sends waves through the air,
so we’re all touching and being touched,
lips kissing each other,
kiss all living creatures.

skin to skin.
air to air.

And inside us,the rich darkness
of creative night
transforms,in turn,
these touches
into dreams.