A Catholic and a Methodist were walking though the town looking for a coffee shop/
We can get cheap coffee in the church hall,the Methodist said.
I don’t like cheap coffee, the Catholic said.
How about salvation?,his friend asked
Free?
Yea,bring your partner and a friend, it’s three for two in Advent.
But we’ve already been saved by faith and good works.
Forget the good works.We are saved by Faith alone.It’s now Daylight Saving Time too.
I wish you had told me that last week, the Carholic remarked.I just agreed my mother in law could move in with us
From where
Holloway.
What’s the address.
It’s the prison
Why is she there?
She stole some horse whips
I thought you said,whores ‘ whips.
It was a Freudian slip.
She stole that as well?
Yes and got 5 years in jail
What a heavy sentence.
Well, she wore the slip with no dress as well after killing the hoese
Have you any animals in your home?
We have six cats.
Buy them some flak jackets.
She could strangle them.
Is that a crime?
We’ll soon find out!
Can’t you hide them?
In a 2 bedroom flat?
Is there a loft?
Yes,but there are two horses up there.
Why keep horses in a flat?
It seemed a good idea at the time.
What time was that?
Window box planting time.
You must be mad.
Yes , it is seassonally effective disorder
Does it work for you?
No,but it pulls the horses.
What an ass.
Where?
That man over there?
I didn’t know you were gay.
I;m not but my therapist reckons I will be soon.
That’s very queer.
What is?
The fact that we never had the coffee.
We’ll have to change to Colombian Bean Time.
And so they prayed for us
