Mary gets flooded

Mary was  in her  oak panelled,  blue walled dining room sitting in her old fuchsia coloured  rocking chair reading “The History of God” by Karen Armstrong while the washing machine was doing its best to wash all the clothes she had found on her  large bedroom chair.She decided to make some coffee.
As she opened the walnut and maple  kitchen door she saw Emile swimming in  a large pool. of  water He was as happy as a duck  on Hampstead Pond in sunny  August
Good heavens, she cried showing  her pure white teeth in horror.
As she looked at the washing machine she saw a strap from her  brown silk petticoat was dangling through the door.Water was running down it as the machine spun.
Surely the door should not have closed with something hanging out,she told Emile who was still bathing in the water.
She ran upstairs two at a time and fetched some bath towels.
Emile was angry
I like having our own pool here in the kitchen and I love this Persil Silk and Wool Wash.All I need now is a spray on hair conditioner.
Mary dialled 999.Hello I need a paramedic.My cat is disobedient.
After a few minutes Dave arrived wearing a denim dungaree dress  over a striped Breton Top and a pair of wellington booots
It’s great that we are so tolerant here,Mary told him.The NHS let you wear anything  at all
I quite fancy a denim dress myself.
Well,said Dave, being a transvestite is my way of life and my knees are very nice.
Mary made no  comment but led him to the kitchen
Emile,you must come out of that water,he said sternly.
I think I’ve had enough, the naughty cat replied.Put the  gas fire on to dry me,please.
I  am glad Annie is on holiday,Mary told Dave as they spread the  towels  on the red  and blue lino floor.She would get very agitated as she fears being electrocuted like Thomas Merton the famous Catholic monk and mystic who took an electric fire into the bathroom in some moment of madness whilst in Asia at a conference.It seems odd unless it was the rainy season.
After their efforts Mary and Dave had coffee.
I’m reading Ted Hughes’  letters he told her.I wonder why some people keep all their letters for ever?
I kept a few of Stan’s she said but I think I’ll destroy them to stop my  relatives  reading them  if and when I die.
I read Ted Hughes and I really  enjoyed the letters and other prose works
I suppose I’d better go back to work Dave said,Shall I pop in tonight.
Yes,do,Mary told him.I’ve made a beef pie  and I can make  chips and fry a few eggs too
Lovely,cried Dave as he jumped into the Emergency ambulance and disappeared.
Mary put the towels  into the washing machine with some Tide.I guess a hot wash is best,she told herself.Where the bleedin’ hell am I going to dry all this stuff and iron it too.I think I’ll enter  a religious order and wear a nun’s habit.It’s like a school uniform
Come to think of it,I could invent my own uniform