Mary watched the beginning of the News because Emile being male insisted he should be up to date politically.
First there was a good story that many migrants were rescued off Italy but alas another  later boat capsized so  far more were drowned.And Boris Johnson appeared like a pale imitation of Donald Trump  complaining about immigrants here..
What do they want,she asked her kind cat.We weep if they drown yet will not admit them here just as it was with the Jews in the early days of Hitler.
Is it a a spiritual   test?Do we value new kitchens and fancy aprons from Harrods above helping others.
Yes,said Emile.I am very selfish.I look after myself
Well you have no money Emile so you can’t donate.I suppose if an immigrant brings a cat you would let them share your home?
Definitely,the cat told her.You could marry a male immigrant and I could have fun with his cat.
Well,we’ll take it more slowly,Mary said..I am not quite ready to remarry and there might be a food problem.
You can have my tinned food if you want and I’ll go out and catch more mice.Cats can still hunt.
I suppose with some brown rice hot cat food might make a good meal.It looks like the potted meat we used to buy from the corner shop when I was a child.It’s  jelly form stewed shin of beef  or in cat food it may not be shin of beef  it might be shin of mouse!Well,you are kind ,Emile although you look odd since you were swimming in the kitchen.Maybe you need a good rinse as the Persil might poison you if ypu lick it/
So she took Emile into the bathroom and he stood in a plastic bowl in the bath while Mary rinsed  him down.Then she rolled a big soft bath towel round him and put him by the fire while she phoned Dave.
Dave,did you get indigestion from the fried batter? she enquired delicately
No,said Dave.I’ll have it again next time I come round. I’ve got a good idea for some games we can play too.
I hope Chess is not one because I don’t like thinking too much.I do enough writing my book on Wittgenstein’s clothes and whether Dirac was autistic.Though really,what mattered was his equation.It was a bit like a mirror where the negative of every positive resided balefully.Even Lacan had written about mirrors  as had Sylvia Plath,
OK said Dave and I’ve met a really nice gay woman Gooyou  might want to meet sometime
Why? said Mary
You need some TLC
I  might take in some immigrants and they can look after me in return for free rooms.
And that is the end for today.Good night

Have you ever been involved  in a hoax
With a  lot of semi-drunken old blokes?
Well I do not like it
And will endure not incite it
Women prefer more to be coaxed

The eye altering altereth all

We hear a good deal about the dangers of the Internet but I have found on some poetry websites there are a lot of very kind exchanges.Also  on bereavement,cancer etc.It can give people somewhere to turn when they are alone .The only surprise is that
a few people who make a great thing of their religion seem to be judgmental of others especially when they are evangelical.I suppose rejecting their approach must be felt as a blow.I believe in doing good secretly.But we should not judge when we don’t know people

Before Xmas one of my relatives asked me to promise not to marry again “just yet”.
I wonder why people are so free with advice.
I suppose now I might marry a woman so it doubles my chance of finding somebody I might get on with.But I’ve got used to having a bed to myself though a cat is welcome company.
It’s quite hard work being married,for women.All the time your head is filled with  non-linear equations,aleph null and whether there is enough bread at home.And wondering if you should throw it all in and go to live in Tasmania with a sheep.

I rang someone in my family last week.I said,Hello
He said,Do you want to be buried or cremated?
So I said,not yet!

He said,have you made a list of all your bank accounts etc?
I said,I’ve only got one.Is that a list?

He said,Have you made a new Will?
I said,No but I’ve got  new will.

He said,Keep in touch.
I thought,why?

http://www.foodnetwork.co.uk/recipes/roasted-cauliflower-lasagna.html

Mary was  in her  oak panelled,  blue walled dining room sitting in her old fuchsia coloured  rocking chair reading “The History of God” by Karen Armstrong while the washing machine was doing its best to wash all the clothes she had found on her  large bedroom chair.She decided to make some coffee.
As she opened the walnut and maple  kitchen door she saw Emile swimming in  a large pool. of  water He was as happy as a duck  on Hampstead Pond in sunny  August
Good heavens, she cried showing  her pure white teeth in horror.
As she looked at the washing machine she saw a strap from her  brown silk petticoat was dangling through the door.Water was running down it as the machine spun.
Surely the door should not have closed with something hanging out,she told Emile who was still bathing in the water.
She ran upstairs two at a time and fetched some bath towels.
Emile was angry
I like having our own pool here in the kitchen and I love this Persil Silk and Wool Wash.All I need now is a spray on hair conditioner.
Mary dialled 999.Hello I need a paramedic.My cat is disobedient.
After a few minutes Dave arrived wearing a denim dungaree dress  over a striped Breton Top and a pair of wellington booots
It’s great that we are so tolerant here,Mary told him.The NHS let you wear anything  at all
I quite fancy a denim dress myself.
Well,said Dave, being a transvestite is my way of life and my knees are very nice.
Mary made no  comment but led him to the kitchen
Emile,you must come out of that water,he said sternly.
I think I’ve had enough, the naughty cat replied.Put the  gas fire on to dry me,please.
I  am glad Annie is on holiday,Mary told Dave as they spread the  towels  on the red  and blue lino floor.She would get very agitated as she fears being electrocuted like Thomas Merton the famous Catholic monk and mystic who took an electric fire into the bathroom in some moment of madness whilst in Asia at a conference.It seems odd unless it was the rainy season.
After their efforts Mary and Dave had coffee.
I’m reading Ted Hughes’  letters he told her.I wonder why some people keep all their letters for ever?
I kept a few of Stan’s she said but I think I’ll destroy them to stop my  relatives  reading them  if and when I die.
I read Ted Hughes and I really  enjoyed the letters and other prose works
I suppose I’d better go back to work Dave said,Shall I pop in tonight.
Yes,do,Mary told him.I’ve made a beef pie  and I can make  chips and fry a few eggs too
Lovely,cried Dave as he jumped into the Emergency ambulance and disappeared.
Mary put the towels  into the washing machine with some Tide.I guess a hot wash is best,she told herself.Where the bleedin’ hell am I going to dry all this stuff and iron it too.I think I’ll enter  a religious order and wear a nun’s habit.It’s like a school uniform
Come to think of it,I could invent my own uniform