Be a stoic

Pills must be swallowed  and not used to play tiddly winks with or to poison enemies.
Do not undress in this cubicle.Undress outside before entry.Leave your clothes in the bin for people to steal (X ray unit]
Kindly tell us your name  and credit card numbers before we drug you.
If afraid please  don’t mention it
.If no night nurse is available please die after 8 am.
If you must have sex , please go home first
If you have no relations please ask the doctor to oblige when he finishes his rounds.
If you feel weak,do not use your Kindle Fire on the bed
After a heart attack do not resume sex for at least ten years
Sex is a form of exercise but also can create chaos in public.Try walking.
If borderline kindly make your mind up whether you love or hate the pest doctor

If you have no bosom,you are probably a man.Wards are now mixed so there is no.
problem apart from a shortage of braziers.
If you have any nuts,please  use your dentures
Cover all your parts before the Royals visit.
Please leave me all your money before you  leave the ward when about to pass over
Sex changes by an operation or sometimes naturally.
Are you bored in bed?Get out and walk up and down the corridor to annoy the visitors
If you have erosive dermatitis, please dry carefull
None of the staff understand the government…so please do not mention David Cameron if you  wish to go home in one piece.
Pies are sold in the conservatory.We do not know why.
In fact we know hardly anything but don’t worry,we’ll treat you barbarically anyway.
Be a stoic and keep still