Mary has a date

Mary decided that, purely out of scientific interest, she would join an on-line dating service.Her main problem was filling in the form.You need an degree in  English to even understand the,
Shall I  put down my profession?,she asked Annie her late husband’s mistress.who lived right   next door., which is why  he chose her as he was lazy
Just put teacher,Annie told her.Don’t  give any more  details,she went on
Why?Do you think men wouldn’t like female mathematicians Mary asked  tentatively
Wait till they have got to know you a bit first,said Annie
Actually I can barely work out percentages now,Mary confessed sheepishly.
But is it moral to deceive? she wondered out loud
Well,it’d better to  go step by step with many things.I’ll take a new photo of you after I set your hair.It’s your face which is most important and your eyes,
You could have fooled me,Mary told her ,recollecting colleagues gazing at her bosom in meetings.
Well,we don’t know for sure,Annie admitted scientifically yet prosaically
Two weeks later Mary had met a very handsome art teacher called Bill.They went walking in the woods and took photographs of trees and flowering shrubs and had tea in the cafe.Later they went out for dinner in a restaurant where Dave the wonderfully amiable  transvestite paramedic was by chance eating with his brother Peter,who was a sheep farmer .
Hello,Dave, she said.This is Bill,my date.He’s an artist.
So you like really  clever women,Bill,Dave asked him courteously.
I’ve never met any, as yet,Bill replied.
Mary’s face went bright red as she realised even if nobody  told Bill her job, she could not carry on deceiving  him.
Well,how about Mary ? Dave asked naughtily.
She’s    fairly  intelligent I think, said Bill.But I’m ok with that.
Suppose she was highly intelligent then?
I don’t think she’s  so  much above average.
Did you pass your maths O level.Dave asked politely
No,I never was good at maths but I am very gifted at Art.Brilliant.That’s why I am puzzled I can’t sell a picture.
Mary and Dave began to giggle.
Maybe you could paint Scrodinger’s cat? Mary cried
Where does he live,asked Bill.If it’s not too far I can drive over.Are they well off?
No, he’s dead,Mary chortled.I want a dust jacket for my book and you could  do  the design with a cat in the middle.
Bill looked a bit uneasy.He then turned to Mary and told her he was feeling faint so he ran out leaving her to pay the bill with her Sainsburys’ Mastercard or  even with money.
Oh,Dave,she said,why were you here? I liked him.He is handsome and fit.
It was just serendipity,he murmured as he admired her gorgeous red face and wild  curly hair.Maybe I’ll take you out  one evening?If Emile is ok with it.Emile being a cat did not speak English but  he made his feelings plain
So Mary was not going to see Bill again but at least she had been out