This title may sound very odd. I hope I can to make my meaning clear.One way would be to say that in any human life suffering is inevitable;to someone else your suffering over the loss of a friend may seem excessive;their suffering over lack of promotion at work might seem too much.We know as we get older we cannot always imaginatively identify with everyone and in some cases we don’t want to.I am not getting upset because a senior politician is in court trying to defend himself against police allegations that he lost his temper and was famed for cursing at lesser folkOn the other hand we sometimes ought to empathise with a sick person or a hungry person and we choose to ignore them; with too much news we could be overwhelmed,we may feel.
The point I am making is simple.We have suffering and then we have suffering resentment,pain ,anxiety,rage ABOUT the suffering.This is true with respect to physical pain as well.Resenting the pain or being depressed by it will happen but hopefully we will let it go.The suffering about suffering makes one’s life far worse..All people suffer and then we attack ourselves for being affected by an event that we feel a tougher person would brush off like she would a fly.If we can choose to give up the second type of suffering then the total burden is much less.We may say to ourselves,it’s alright to feel nervous or unhappy or mad or be in pain today….and tomorrow,
Sometimes it means stopping self criticism and self attack though of course appropriate self criticism does have a big role in life.I shall live with it as with a wild cat…carefully and wisely,This truth is applicable to many parts of one’s private life.We should not ,of course, lecture to other suffering people how stupid they are.Let’s just stick to dealing with our own piling of one problem on top of another.We are all made from fragile flesh.We can be injured physically or emotionally.Who has not been?Sometimes people who have suffered more are also more compassionate but sometimes we grow bitter and hard.The ability to share in our imagination how another person feels is what makes human life tolerable.Owing sometimes to brain problems or various syndromes some people do not have that ability and their lives are much worse as they can’t make friends easily.So they can’t discuss their lives and doings.
So, to sum up:If we accept the basic suffering [assuming it can’t be removed] then we do not add a second level of suffering and our burden is lighter overall.And reminding ourselves that others suffer is a good idea..When we feel down we sometimes feel everybody else around is happy and having fun.I was once a bit envious of a neighbour for her appearance.Then I found she was slim because of a serious illness..Then her husband lost his job together with the big car he had been entitled to.That taught me a lesson.
How my heart sings 