Leaf buds

 

  • I see a light fuzz of hair on your head

    like the softness of just opening leaf buds in spring.

    The chemo is over,and you wait relieved and letting that

    take you for a while before you start to face the next stage.

    Will your Spring turn to a warm enchanting Summer

    or has the cancer,as they say ,”spread.”

    Just for now,you’re in that lull

    so in three weeks time you will not be

    arriving for another session of drugs

    and days of sickness.

    I see the light fuzz which reminds me

    of how the cat’s fur grew back after her surgery

    and she,being unable to reflect or question,

    leaped from the fence top onto next door’s kitchen roof;

    no thought in her mind of stitches breaking.

    How beautifully the patterned fur returned

    and the vulnerable skin was covered again.

    Oh,to look into those eyes and see you dream

    about mice that live behind the shed

    and how you sat watching for hours

    and how you were alive till the very last moment.

    Then , all of a sudden,you were gone.

    Pray it will not be so for the fragile,loving human

    now waiting and living,hoping for what you took for granted…

    a “normal” life span Or maybe just three quarters of one

    would be satisfactory;would be a beneficence

    such as trees feel when the sap turns and begins to flow back.

    bringing life out of the darkness of earth and soil.

    And another Summer comes at the right time

    and we find it, shall we say, satisfactory?

Trees

  • Trees are the mainstay of the natural world

    Standing up high over the grass,the flowers,the shrubs,

    Exerting a strange and powerful fascination.

    Accepting the insects and birds that dwell on them,

    It’s the Kingdom of Trees,the Heaven of the Garden.

    On the red maple’s trunk about five feet from the ground

    I see the marks whee Daisy sharpened her claws.

    [She died just before Labour lost the Election,1992.

    Twenty years from now

    Those marks will be 10 feet high.]

    A gentle cat,

    She found peace in

    This green shady garden,choosing which tree to scratch,

    Whether to climb into the old apple tree extending its branches far out towards the holly tree

    That is the habitation of sparrows,safe and sweet.

    Cat could only watch them from her perch.

    Oh,what are we doing wasting our lives shopping malls,

    When we could take instruction from the trees?

    We could take lessons from the birds that dwell there,

    And ask the advice of flowers,or directions from honey bees.

    What could the ants tell us if we had time to hear.

    The garden is a holy place.Trees are good at being trees.

     

  • Think about it

 

He promised to kiss me and love me and vacuum me

Oh dear what can the matter be
We  sometimes  hate our own family
Oh,dear send for new batteries
My husband is flat with despair.

Oh,dear what can the matter be
Ambivalence strains all the flattery
Oh,dear, drive to the cattery
Alfred has lost all his hair.

He promised to   lie on my lap until Saturday
He promised to eat his food   and to chat to me
He promised to kiss me and love me and vacuum me
I’ll  have a hot bath   and prepare.

Freud says that all relationships are ambivalent.We hate those we love sometimes.It is  normal in the sense that we are vulnerable to them.But we live with it

With a chosen few

I’d love to write a sonnet but I  daren’t
For in this steamy heat it’s much too hard
So please don’t send me messages that taunt
Nor with disdain compare me to our bard.

.For  not all people have poetic skill
And  what I have will sometimes fall to dust
Like virtue  writing’s not made by the will
Await the grace ,as saints and mystics must

In  the mind an empty bowl of space
We keep to catch the offerings of the gods.
It’s more like contemplation than a race;
For freely, quietly we receive the good.

The lady’s not for   turning words to gold
But with a  chosen few she loves to mould

Sunday supper

Main course

Cheese on post
Beans on coast
Eggs in fright sauce  with lice
Battered  bacon  cutties
Sausage bowls and ballad
Holly berries with nuts and phrasing
Foxglove salad and Lancashire fees
Cheese bones and beetroot
Quiche for Men  with double chips
Odd bits of meat minced and fried in dripping on white dead

Dessert

Trifle with men
Rice flooding
Hot dreamy desert
Yoghurt from the beast
Jelly ice scream
Apple part  and lusted
Mirthday Quake
.Fat free sponge cake with strawberry and my wife

 

Do we have a “true self”?

http://www.unique-design.net/library/seperation.html

Carl Jung was a pupil of Freud until he broke away over the issue of sexuality;he did not accept that it was the most important factor in neurosis.He began his own type of psychoanalysis.When reading his books I discovered he thought that the development and separation  from others  of the individual in western society was a great thing.In the past we were defined by the groups we  belonged to,religious,family,town or country and  .He wanted us to develop our own “true self.”
That concept is now disputed by many people!.”I or me” is  not a secret core waiting to be discovered.I suppose people might identify it with the soul.Some psychoanalysts say it is to be dwelling in  our body fully and that requires care from our mothers or fathers.He also introduced the terms introvert and extravert which are now part of everyday language.Some people say that we don’t have  stable identity.We can be  introvert in one setting and extravert in another.But we do tend to be more one o than the other.
I am mildly introvert.I find too much time with people is  tiring.But I do  like to talk to people in a small group.Or one to one.I also find some people don’t like female intellectuals.But I don’t find it difficult to  talk to anyone regardless of social class,intelligence and other attributes nor do they have a problem with me
Two things are a surprise about Jung.First he has been accused of  sympathy with the Nazis as unlike Freud he was  not Jewish so he remained in Germany  during the Nazi era.He did write an article saying the Jewish psyche was not so creative as the Aryan which is ludicrous.
.Secondly he had sexual relationships with some of his patients……………..that is usually frowned upon in therapy.The client may develop powerful feelings for the therapist but this is meant to be contained  .I think it is conceivable that it might be beneficial in rare cases however  where there is a power imbalance it seems dangerously unfair.When it happens it appears to be heterosexual.I wonder what a therapist might do if he or she felt a gay patient needed a sexual experience with him or her?We don’t seem to hear much about that,do we?Would they subjugate themselves to satisfy the patient?I don’t tik so if they were not already gay  or bisexual

Algebra of new media

xxxx = I like/love you/it

yyyyy=I can’t understand it.

zzzzz= I feel sleepy after I read your writing.

uuuuu= You are self absorbed,narcissistic or an egoist.

vvvvv= I want to view more

wwwww= I want to wee urgently but postponed till I read this.

xyxyxy= Love it but it’s incomprehensible.

xzxzxzxz-= Love it and feel drowsy and relaxed

yzyzyzy== too tired but trying to comprehend

ahahahaha= funny

bbcbbcbbc= too mainstream

bcbcbcbcb=before the common era= out of date

wowowowowow= amazing and painful

howhowhow= puzzled

hmmhmmhmm= thinking about this.

To the world of others we are blind

What we see is partly who we are
In winter snow we see the beauty white.
To homeless people ,it may bring despair
At night the cold and frosty air will bite.

Flowers of startling beauty are now here
Yet even these will make some people ill.
A scent which an asthmatic man may fear
Is most desired as perfume by the well

The adverts which may irritate the rich
May start up envy’s poison in the poor.
Good and evil to our wealth are stitched
All is context, virtue is not ours.
The world I see’s constructed by my mind
And to the worlds of others we are blind

Sunday dinner

Starter

Mermaid  jelly
Mock turtle loop
Avocado paired with mandarin lozenges
Melon with whinger
Grape and melon ballad stung by my wife
Wheeze on toast  plus free handkerchief
Sycamore leaf and holly salad.With cherries.

 

 

Maimed course

Roast pork with crippled sauce and baked rotaters
Roast man with hint sauce and vegecradles
Roast beef with Yorkshire rubbings and Navy.
Gammon with  courage  source and boasted vegetables
Vegetarian in cream cheese and Rhine

 

Padding

Fruit belly  and s whipped cream
I scream raspberry flavour
Spotted Dick and bastard
Steamed ram sponge
Sponge fake with cream home made with my wife