Onomastic: the limericks

I do not like  this word onomastics.

Just like I don’t drink  tea from plastic

But  brandy or gin,

Just pour it straight in,

As my stomach is very elastic.

 

 

To be perfectly frank I don’t drink,

As after one glass I turn pink.

Then men want a  kiss

Which for them may be bliss.

Until I drench them  all o’er with black ink.

 

Gin makes me lose my inhibitions.

Which leads later to my act of contrition.

To avoid the occasion

Of sin when we’re able

Is a doctrine I espouse sans derision.

 

Yes,I do know   yet non comprendio,

A few words of Latin and so

I toss  nunquam in

When there is a   great din.

Excusez moi,I have to go.

 

Yes, up to the bathroom I fled

For I had an odd pain in my head.

I poured some hot tea

All over  me.

Now I have arisen from the dead.

 

I hope that I do not blaspheme

When I free associate well in  these dreams.

I am as innocent as a  lamb

Which is not what I am.

But who knows what I might have been?

 

Onomastics,I’ll say it again.

It’s a word far more suited to men.

As they like to  sound grand

When they  tickle me with one hand.

I  can guess what they might like right then.