Modesty again

Stan and his sweet blonde girlfriend Anne were studying government data on inflation.He wanted to give a lecture for senior citizens.

Why are you wearing those smart wool trousers and black tights,darling? he enquired kindly.

Well,it’s the the fashion dear heart, and more modest than a mini skirt for if I bend over I’m protected.Her answer seemed ludicrous With her sweet bosom,hips and tight clothing it was hard for Anne to give any semblance of modesty.

Wouldn’t a maxi skirt be modest?I saw some in Marks last week.I bought one for Mary

Do you often buy her clothes? Annie asked with surprise.

She used to do it once  …. but she stopped because she’s hopeless at dressing.She’go out in pyjamas left to herself

Well,silk jim jams are the summer fashion this year.

Can I have some,please? miaowed   the cat,Emily.

You already have some silk nightgowns… four!

Do you really buy nightgowns for the cat?asked Anne incredulously

Well she sleeps with me now you know,as I like to hear someone breathing at night.Mary  is downstairs studying algebra.She only needs three hours sleep.And she has no interest in loving me.It’s a puzzle how she bore our two daughters Lyra and Desiree.She says she found them under a gooseberry bush, but they look very like Bill Clinton.

Was Bill fond of gooseberry bushes too?They have big thorns.

He would not let a few thorns put him off…he’s a very tough man.

What about goats’ horns.. would they put him off? Or Matterhorns?

Let’s get back to statistics,my beloved,Stan murmured foolishly

I’ll just boil the kettle,my lambkin

I prefer boiling water for coffee.

Stan  was famed for his wacky sense of humor………….amongst the friends of theirs who all taught maths or played cricket for England.Annie  walked away looking charming in her black wool city shorts with shiny patent leather boots.Her chest distracted him as she wore only a yellow vest.

Have you not got a cardigan ,darling,he whispered shyly.

No,the moths ate it but I’m going shopping later she muttered

.I hope you’ll wear a coat.You might catch a chill,he said anxiously

Fret not,,I’ll drive down.Annie screamed
.You are 55 now you know…you are not a girl.Modesty is a wise trait for mature ladies. Modesty………I gave that up years ago.I dress how I feel.

Well,you make me want a feel.Suddenly the leg fell of his chair and it collapsed tossing him onto the floor,As he lay there he muttered sarcastically,

I blame those trousers of yours! Call 999.

She tore off her trousers to reveal some black silky lace flowered underwear

Is that better? she enquired chastely .

I suggest you get tested forAsperger’s syndrome,he shouted.

I have enough trouble with Tourette’s she whispered tenderly.It makes me say bad words…………..

I’ve never heard you.What sort of words?

Like, “Be off,you silly twit.”

That sounds funny to me.he responded sweetly.

Can you tell me some more bad words?

No I can’t,you dolt!

Why not,my angel?

Well,isn’t this a family friendly web site?

Nowadays,what does family mean?Two ladies who love one another and their child fathered by the cat.

I never knew it was the cat.I’ve often wondered about that.Emily purred happily as she was hoping to have kittens soon with her boyfriend Emile who was in the garden.

Look it’s tea time.I hear Mary ‘s bike.Get up off the floor and get a hammer I can mend that chair.

Wow,you are so clever……we men are unneeded now! Stan informed her ironically.

Don’t be silly.I love you,the dearest.Thanks you so much…it’s good to hear those sweet words.  meant I want the dearest maxi skirt as a reward,she said saucily.

Women,Stan thought wryly. Can’t live with them;can’t live without them.Go and put on your nightdress Emily.Warm up the bed.I’m having an early night.

Quick,get up.Mary  is here.she’ll imagine the worst if she sees you on the floor.She’ll think you are ill!

No,I know what you do on that rug,you little minx! t was Mary who had crept in in her bare feet.Look at you,no shoes!How vulgar.You look like a fraction!

Better than looking like a decimal!

Now,said Stan,have a cup of tea and then we can have a sit down on the rug and study algebra and geometry.

What a nice man he is!Why is Annie so keen on decimals see my next instalment… when I pay it!